Letter to Julia 20111201

**sniffle** Oh Julia, I've gone and gotten myself the sniffles again. **sniffle** I just barely got over the sniffles I had last week, then I got a sniffle attack while I was voice training. **sniffle** I can't sing when the sinus fluids overflow. They ruin my voice. So I have to spend hours draining all those fluids into a small bucket. Nothing else seems to work. This process takes my entire concentration, so I can't multitask while I empty out my sinus cavity, but I must protect my voice. Disgusting though as this may seem, I have managed to maintain voice training and Qur'an reading everyday for over 2 months, because of this strict regimen. Disgusting though as this may seem, sinus fluids are crystal clear, but viscous as a jellyfish. Fascinating, huh? Right now, only Allah and I seem to know how important it is that I sing everyday. Perhaps someday, others will catch on, and offer enough financial aid so that I can marry my sweetie. Yeah, right. I can only trust Allah for that. **sniffle**

I was about to blog a love letter to you yesterday, but my USB drive died. That's too bad, because I wrote up a dissertation on the dangers and intricasies of singing. Oh well, I suppose it's to stay a secret, because I can't remember exactly what I wrote, and I suppose Allah was the One who killed my USB drive, thus I don't want to blog such a topic right now. Instead, I'll just say what I'm supposed to be saying in a love letter. You're the prettiest girl in the world to me, Julia. I love you, and I want to marry you.

Qur'an 20111201

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

99. See they not that Allah, who created the heavens and the earth, has power to create the likes of them? Only God has decreed a term appointed, of which there is no doubt. But the unjust refuse except with ingratitude.

100. Say, "If you had control of the Treasures of the Mercy of my Lord, behold! You would keep them back for fear of spending them, for humans are selfish!"

(The Night Journey 99-100)

106. A Qur'an which We have divided, in order that you might recite it to humans in intervals: We have revealed it in stages.

107. Say, "Whether you believe in it or not, it is true that those who were given knowledge beforehand, when it is recited to them, fall down on their faces in humble prostration."

108. And they say, "Glory to our Lord! Truly has the promise of our Lord has been fulfilled!"

109. They fall down on their faces in tears, and it increases their humility.

110. Say, "Call upon Allah, or call upon the Compassionate One. By whatever name you call upon God, for to God belong the Most Beautiful Names. Neither speak your prayer aloud, nor speak it in a low tone, but seek a middle course between."

111. Say, "Praise be to Allah, who begets no son, and has no partner in dominion, nor any to protect God from humiliation. Yea, magnify God, for God's Greatness and Glory!"

(The Night Journey 17:106-111)
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If you had control of the Treasures of the Mercy of my Lord, behold! You would keep them back for fear of spending them, for humans are selfish!

Whether you believe in it or not, it is true that those who were given knowledge beforehand, when it is recited to them, fall down on their faces in humble prostration.

Call upon Allah, or call upon the Compassionate One. By whatever name you call upon God, for to God belong the Most Beautiful Names. Neither speak your prayer aloud, nor speak it in a low tone, but seek a middle course between.

Praise be to Allah, who begets no son, and has no partner in dominion, nor any to protect God from humiliation. Yea, magnify God, for God's Greatness and Glory!

Letter to Julia 20111128

Of course, when the time comes when Allah allows me the means to travel to you and get you, I would have prepared a home and a means of living for you, insyaAllah. A life of marriage that I have been talking about all this while to you, happiness in this life as well as the Hereafter, insyaAllah. Be aware that there are greater issues at stake, considering that your suitor is a one with a spiritual agenda, to please Allah with music. It is a larger existence than you have ever experienced before, a space larger than the glitz of a ballroom with crystal chandeliers and gold adornments. A pressure greater than the deepest chasm in the ocean, an awareness of life far beyond the sensation of motion perceived by your eyes and fuzzy blond hairs on your forearm. Much more important than the amount of cash and material possessions I am able to accumulate in order to give you a comfortable existence. It is something you need to figure out for yourself, if Allah wills. I can't slap a collar around your neck and pull you upstairs. If Allah refuses to guide you, then you will not be helped. I can't save anybody, no matter how much I love them, not my parents, not you. Allah is the One who saves people, not me.

Qur'an 20111128

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

85. They ask you concerning the Spirit. Say, "The Spirit by command of my Lord. Of knowledge, it is only a little that is communicated to you."

86. If it were Our Will, We could take away that which We have sent to you by inspiration. Then would you find none to plead your affair in that matter as against Us.

87. Except for Mercy from your Lord, for God's Bounty is indeed to you great.

88. Say, "If the whole of humans and jinns were to gather together to produce the like of this Qur'an, they could not produce the like thereof, even if they backed up each other with help and support."

89. And We have explained to humans, in this Qur'an, every kind of similitude. Yet the greater part of humans refuse, except with ingratitude!

90. They say, "We shall not believe in you until you cause a spring to gush forth for us from the earth."

91. "Or you have a garden of date trees and vines, and cause rivers to gush forth in their midst, carrying abundant water."

92. "Or you cause the sky to fall in pieces, as you say, against us. Or you bring Allah and the angels here, face to face."

93. "Or you have a house adorned with gold, or you mount a ladder right into the skies. No, we shall not even believe in your mounting until you send down to us a book that we can read." Say, "Glory to my Lord! Am I aught but a man, a messenger?"

94. What kept humans back from belief when Guidance came to them was nothing but this: they said, "Has Allah sent a man to be messenger?"

95. Say, "If there were settled on earth angels walking about in peace and quiet, God would certainly sent them down from the heavens an angel for a messenger."

96. Say, "Enough is Allah for a witness between me and you, for God is Well-acquainted with God's servants, and God Sees."

The Night Journey 17:85-96
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The Spirit by command of my Lord. Of knowledge, it is only a little that is communicated to you.

If the whole of humans and jinns were to gather together to produce the like of this Qur'an, they could not produce the like thereof, even if they backed up each other with help and support.

Glory to my Lord! Am I aught but a man, a messenger?

If there were settled on earth angels walking about in peace and quiet, God would certainly sent them down from the heavens an angel for a messenger.

Enough is Allah for a witness between me and you, for God is Well-acquainted with God's servants, and God Sees.

I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship other than Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.

Letter to Julia 20111126

High, my butterfly! Ah, my Julia. You are so pretty, and beautiful. You are all I could dream of in a girl. How I long for us to be together all the time and spend the rest of our life and afterlife together. Yeah, I think of you all the time, my precious. But I don't go looking for you, or for news for you. You know that. Who knows what bad news, or lies, I might find about you. It's better that I don't know, and nurture this pure, uncorrupted love that I keep in my fantasies and heart, until the day when Allah allows me the means to travel to you and get my answer face to face, or not at all, which means no, of course. For when that time comes, I will be prepared, insyaAllah.

Everyone has a second voice in their heads, a whispering that promises great rewards and glory, for acts of evil. Some may be confused as to whose voice it is. Since it is in my head, surely it must be there for a reason? Surely it must be my own voice, telling me what to do? Surely it must be my thinking? As I told you before, Satan swore long ago to destroy all humans. He and his minions represent themselves by that whispering in your thoughts that prod you to commit acts of evil, of arrogance, to convince you that the One and Only God is inferior to other beliefs, and that those thoughts are yours, when the thoughts only becomes yours after you succumb to them. So what thoughts are actually yours? The thoughts that compel you to think of goodness, of acts of goodness, of faithfulness, of humility. For God is all that is good, and God protects those who turn to God from the coaxing of evil. Don't let anyone ever convince you that God tells you to do acts of evil, God is only all that is good. The polarity is distinct, is black and white, there is no gray area. For when your thoughts and acts of good are even slightly corrupted, then you have succumbed to the whisperings of evil. And corruption is the majority, is the norm, is the conformity. Very, very few people are pure.

Qur'an 20111126

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

80. Say, "O my Lord! Let my entry be by the Gate of Truth and Honor, and likewise my exit by the Gate of Truth and Honor, and grant me from Your Presence an authority to aid."

81. And say, "Truth has arrived and falsehood perished, for falsehood is bound to perish."

82. We send down in the Qur'an that which is a healing and a mercy to those who believe. To the unjust it causes nothing but loss after loss.

83. Yet when We bestow Our favors on man, he turns away and becomes remote on his side, and when evil seizes him, he gives himself up to despair!

84. Say, "Everyone acts according to his own disposition, but your Lord knows best who it is that is best guided on the Way."

The Night Journey 17:80-84
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O my Lord! Let my entry be by the Gate of Truth and Honor, and likewise my exit by the Gate of Truth and Honor, and grant me from Your Presence an authority to aid.

Truth has arrived and falsehood perished, for falsehood is bound to perish.

Everyone acts according to his own disposition, but your Lord knows best who it is that is best guided on the Way.

Letter to Julia 20111124

YOOOOOOLIIIIIEEEEE!!!!

Oh dearest Julia my beloved beauty, I've suddenly got the sniffles. **sniffle** It also seems like I might have to take Chee Cheah in for another antifungal shot. Seems like she's gained some weight, as well. She was once a dainty litlle kitty, I must have spoiled her too much. It's been raining almost non stop for the past 3 days, but there was anough of a break for me to write yesterday's letter. And today's letter, obviously.

Perhaps you wonder why skeptics remain skeptics despite all the Signs of God that are obvious to people of faith. All populations will be destroyed before Judgement Day, that is certain. God only sends Signs by way of fear, but it only increases their transgression. Then God refrains from sending Signs because they were treated as false. The only thing left is for the people to get wiped out by God. You've seen the ruins of cities, haven't you?

Letter to Julia 20111123

Since I am alone and unmarried right now, it is rather easy to stick to a budget, even though my income is far beyond pathetic. Knowing how to cook for myself really helps, and Chee Cheah is my only dependent, and she doesn't have professional, entertainment, apparel, transportation and education expenses. In fact, she eats like a King Cat since I can't afford to buy her packaged cat food. Today she ate nothing but fried fish heads. Fish heads galore! She's also quite healthy for a kitty: I've only had to take her in for antifungal shots, and the last one was 3 months ago, Besides the sinus congestions I sometimes get, Allah has blessed us both with good health, alhamdulillah.

Even if I had money, I believe I have learned not to spend just for the sake of spending, insyaAllah. I know I'm not pretty, so I wouldn't spend much of anything on vanity. Perhaps some new clothes and boots, when my cargo pants and jungle boots get too worn out from gardening. I really like those cop boots, you know the type those motorcycle cops wear. I wonder how they'll work for gardening? I also prefer a small house. Right now I sleep on the floor, and I don't receive guests because I have no friends, so I don't have any furniture other than kitchen cabinets, closets and the occasional chair and table. My profession is entertainment, so those 2 expenses are one, but it would be substantially larger than an average person's expense because of the need for research. My having no vanity means that I won't need flashy cars. I would use the motorcycle most of the time anyway, and if I feel the urge to drive fast then I just play GTA. I'm sick of traveling, so I would have limited travel expenses. I would certainly spend more on ingredients, because I enjoy cooking at leisure, and I like my own cooking. I might even order live cattle from USA or Japan to be slaughtered here, plus build a walk-in cooler for my cheese collection and the occasional salmon. Is that extravagant? I don't know. I would definitely donate some of that meat to the poor, I would prefer to eat the cheese than to show it off, and the local seafood is superior in quality to the rest of the world as it is, as long as the environment remains clean. Between all that, I have to give in charity and worship to Allah. Every other expense is all about you, so I pray you have a disciplined budget. We Muslims must not be spendthrifts and wasteful, so I would appreciate you to be respectful in that as well.

Anyway, when you speak, please speak for the best. You are a role model, for people you may not see or hear, and some of them are very small. And you are my girl, and I love you. Please be patient, maintain your prayers.

Qur'an 20111123

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the rejected.
In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

41. We have explained variously in this Qur'an, in order that they may receive admonition, but it only increases their flight.

42. Say, "If there had been gods with God as they say, behold! They would certainly have sought out a way to the Lord of the Throne!"

43. Glory to God! God is high above all that they say, Exalted and Great!

44. The seven heavens and the earth, and all beings therein,, declare God's glory. There is not a thing but celebrates God's praise, and yet you understand not how they declare God's glory! Verily God is Oft-Forbearing, most Forgiving.

45. When you do recite the Qur'an, We put between you and those who believe not in the Hereafter, a veil invisible.

46. And We put coverings over their hearts lest they should understand the Qur'an, and deafness into their ears. When you do commemorate your Lord and God alone in the Qur'an, they turn on their backs, fleeing!

47. We know best why it is they listen when they listen to you, and when they meet in private conference, behold! The wicked say, "You follow none other than a man bewitched!"

48. See what similes they strike for you, but they have gone astray, and never can they find a way.

49. They say, "What? When we are reduced to bones and dust, should we really be raised up, a new creation?"

50. Say, "Be you stones, or iron!"

51. Or created matter which, in your minds, is hardest. Then will they say, "Who will cause us to return?" Say, "God, who created you first!" Then will they wag their heads towards you and say, "When will that be?" Say, "Maybe it will be quite soon!"

52. It will be on a day when God will call you, and you will answer with God's praise, and you will think you tarried but a little while!

53. Say to Our servants that they should say those things that are best, for Satan does sow dissensions among them, for Satan is to humans an avowed enemy.

54. It is your Lord that knows you best. If God please, God grants you mercy, or if God please, punishment. We have not sent you to be a disposer of their affairs for them.

55. And it is your Lord that knows best all beings that are in the heavens and on earth. We did bestow on some prophets more gifts than on others, and We gave to David the Psalms.

56. Say, "Call on those, besides God, whom you fancy. They have neither the power to remove your troubles from you, nor to change them."

The Night Journey 17:41-56
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If there had been gods with God as they say, behold! They would certainly have sought out a way to the Lord of the Throne!

Be you stones, or iron!

God, who created you first!

Maybe it will be quite soon!

Call on those, besides God, whom you fancy. They have neither the power to remove your troubles from you, nor to change them.

Letter to Julia 20111121

So, this old soldier remains a soldier. In the past I probably would have felt despair at my still having to fight, but today there is so much evil saturated into the entertainment business that I would feel wrong if I didn't give their shit back to them. InsyaAllah, all their routines and formulas will become unprofitable, or great losses, and they become the object of drama in a reality series.

Then there's my princess. Our love is spiritual, y'know? I fight towards you for our sacred love, for the glory of Allah. We simply must not allow ourselves to be oppressed, can we? You are my girl, Julia. Of course I love you.

Letter to Julia 20111119

Today, I have been thinking about the chains that bind you, about your imprisonment. It is your work that imprisons you. Do you feel like a prisoner? What is it that makes us normal? It is the drive to find happiness, in love and marriage. But you are MY girl, I am the one one wishes to marry you. Therefore, you are sucked into the matrix that is my life. We can only be where Allah puts us, so really I'm not to blame, insyaAllah. Or would you rather be a prisoner, and not know it? Ignorance is not bliss in matters of oppression. One would only drive to jump off a skyscraper with diamonds around the neck.

But you don't worry so much about it, because you get to be the princess, and wait for this knight in armor of shadow to come release you, and we will live happily ever after together, insyaAllah. We are pawns in a play unfolding itself, which is Judgement Day, so let us be servants of Allah. So pray.

Thus, this is a historical situation, where those that Allah has granted affluence and power use their gifts to commit oppression. We all have some bad habits, but don't you agree that affluence and power amplify those bad habits to an nth degree? People with disregard and disrespect for God do get their dues in this life as well as the hereafter. Hitler was a pagan and a loser with an agenda of revenge, but what good will revenge against Hitler do now? It will only serve to harm the innocent. Again, we all have bad habits, but we can focus on eliminating the worst of our deeds, and pray for good instead of evil. For if we revert to evil, then Allah will make history repeat itself.

Letter to Julia 20111117

Hi there, you sexy thing! You better had be modest and hide your beauty, because you are so gorgeous. Yeah, it's true that i want you all to myself, because you're MY girl. But we have to be patient, my love. As Muslims, if there's anything that we want, or any help that we need, then we have to ask Allah for it with prayer, and be patient and persevering. And I want you. My beloved Julia.

Now Julia, the supernatural is actually quite simple to understand, and once you do understand the supernatural, then you will know the correct place to put your fear. There is not one, but two dominant races on Earth. The first is the human race, made of earth and water. The second is the jinn race, made of fire. Not all jinns are bad or evil, kind of like that not all ghosts are bad or evil, and not all humans are bad or evil. There are jinns that worship Allah, and they pray, and do good deeds. Then there are jinns that trick and torment humans, especially the humans that have incorrect faith. Satan is a member of the jinn race. When God created Adam, the first human, Satan refused to bow to Adam when God ordered him to, because Satan felt himself superior to humans. God banished Satan, and Satan vowed to destroy Adam and all humans. Satan then tricked Adam and Eve to eat of the forbidden tree, and God banished both the human and the jinn races to Earth until Judgement Day. Satan was granted respite by God even though Satan swore to destroy all humans, but God will save those who are faithful to and guided by God. So, put your fear in Allah. It's easy for skeptics to be tricked by illusions and audio-visual hallucinations caused by variations of thermal energy because of their arrogance in their perceived human superiority, but YOU put your fear in God. You do not follow Satan and his cohorts, when he whispers into your thoughts and emotions. And do not say things about Allah that you do not understand.

Letter to Julia 20111115

Well, it's about time that I cooked up those ribs I got from the Eid sacrifice. I should have boiled them, but I thought that pan-frying them twice would loosen the meat enough. So, I fried them once until the meat was cooked, then I put barbecue sauce on them then stuck them in the cooler to marinade. Then I fried them again in butter, adding more barbecue sauce and blackening them each time I turned them, which was about 4-5 times. I would have grilled them on a charcoal fire, but my grill disintegrated from all the rainfall. Thus, I had to create a similar effect on a frying pan. Nothing can replace the flavor of an open fire, though. Ah, I love beef bones. Next time, I'll boil the ribs first. Barbecue sauce? I think Malaysia has the edge on the USA when it comes to barbecue sauce. So many options to choose from, while in the USA it's always that same old tomato paste, spices and sweetener combo. This time, I used a tamarind and chilli base, for a sour spicy sauce. Ah, alhamdulillah. Even though I should have boiled the bones, I felt I had something good going when Chee Cheah went berserk while I was cooking. Of course, I gave my Dad a bone too.

So, I hope you are eating properly. Remember that as my girl, you are automatically an endorser of food products. Don't forget the basics: no pig, no blood, no carrion, and you must not eat food which is offered for pagan rituals, or food that in which the name of others than Allah has been invoked. Before the first bite say, "In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful," for Allah is the One who provides all sustenance, but is not fed. Just try your best with the circumstance that Allah has put you in, for Allah is Lenient and Forgiving, and knows all that you think, feel, and undertake. Perhaps in your spare time you are experimenting with cooking. I have a feeling you are. Just remember that I have a sensitive stomach, so please practise with pure and fresh ingredients, and a medium fire. Be patient, and avoid overly processed foods! I guess at this point you won't be able to cook in private, let alone go to restaurants without being observed. So please have fun while you experiment with food, but most of all, please eat properly, and be grateful to Allah for the great beauty that God has given you, by taking good care of your body. Please join me in Islam my beloved, and let's share our life and afterlife together.

Letter to Julia 20111113

But of course you can put cheese, or croutons, or whatever you want on your salad. Whoops! I'm done talking about salads. I just dropped by to say "I love you", and because I had to run a quick errand. I love you! Please keep your faith firm and sincere, maintain your prayers, and take good care of your beautiful body!

Qur'an 20111113

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

101. When We substitute one revelation for another, and Allah knows best what God reveals, they say, "You are a forger," but most of them understand not.

102. Say, "The Holy Spirit has brought the revelation from your Lord in Truth, in order to strengthen those who believe, and as a Guide and Glad Tidings to Muslims."

103. We know indeed that they say, "It is a man who teaches him." The tongue of him they wickedly point to is notably foreign, while this is Arabic, pure and clear.

104. Those who believe not in the Signs of Allah, Allah will not guide them, and theirs will be a grievous penalty.

105. It is those who believe not in the Signs of Allah that forge falsehood, it is they who lie!

The Bees 16:101-105
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The Holy Spirit has brought the revelation from your Lord in Truth, in order to strengthen those who believe, and as a Guide and Glad Tidings to Muslims.

Letter to Julia 20111112

Hello again, my beloved Julia. Today, I will give you a technique or recipe for making salads. Yecchh! I hate salads, but I suppose for you models it becomes a sort of staple food. I've made a million salads in my life, because I worked at the pizza joint. Gag! I hate salads. I hate making them, I hate eating them, and I hate people who eat salads, but in your case I will make an exception, and love you instead. Oh, I'm just joking about hating people who eat salads! No, but I really hate salads.

Anyway, lets start with a chunk of boneless chicken breast. First, you heat up a frying pan with medium heat. Rub the breast with honey, the chicken breast that is. Sprinkle some course black pepper onto the meat according to preference. No need for salt! Do not use any oil! When the pan is hot, fry up the meat until it's almost black, but don't burn it! Turn it over, then place a pat of butter on top, so it melts over the meat. Then cook the other side until it's almost black, but not burned. Immediately remove the meat to a cutting board. Note that center of the chicken breast should still be raw, especially if you have a big chunk of meat. Slice the meat lengthwise, exposing the raw area. Then put the chicken breast back on the pan with the raw side down, and cook it until the raw part turns white. Turn off the heat, and remove the meat from the pan onto a plate, and let it cool at room temperature.

Let's use a head of Iceberg lettuce, and a head of Romaine lettuce. Wash the lettuce. Make sure the lettuce is fresh, with snap, and no brown gooey areas! Remove the brown parts if any, and cut of the stem of the lettuce, about 2 inches for the Romaine and 1 inch for the Iceberg. Tear the lettuce with your fingers into strips of about 1 by 1 1/2 inch each, using only the leafy areas, and discarding the spine of each leaf. You may prefer to use only the heart of the Romaine, but I find that the outer leaves have good flavor too, if they are healthy. Yuck! I hate salads! Of course you can use any type of lettuce/greens, provided it is fresh and healthy, and you can use the same guidelines as the Iceberg and the Romaine. Spinach bruises easily, so be gentle! Mix up the strips of lettuce with your hands into an even mix.

OK! Place the lettuce mix into a serving bowl, then you can add fresh peppers, onions, olives, or whatever. Don't mix it into the salad mix, just arrange enough of it on top. I prefer a crescent cut for the peppers (no, don't eat the seeds and stems) and onions, where you cut the vegetable in half lengthwise, or quarters, then you slice the half from one end to the other into crescent shapes, following the arc of the half-circle. Slice up the chicken breast into strips, and arrange it onto the salad. If you had followed my instructions correctly, juices should have seeped out of the meat once it cooled down. Pour the juices onto the meat on the salad. Salad dressing? Just use your favorite salad dressing. I prefer blue cheese dressing, because it goes well with chicken wings, which taste way better than any salad. Amplify the flavor of blue cheese dressing with chunks of real blue cheese from a wedge. You know, the stuff you would nibble as a snack. Ranch? Italian? Honey mustard? 1000 island? I suppose I have some recipes, but that's another love letter. Basically, every salad dressing is just a form of flavored, liquified grease which you pour on your salad. Bleah! I hate salads! But I love YOU!

Letter to Julia 20111110

Hello again. my beautiful Julia. How are you feeling today, my precious beauty? You must be working hard as usual. So please make sure you eat properly, take good care of yourself, and maintain your prayers.

It is a quiet day at the office for me here today. It's now almost 11 pm on Wednesday, and I just got done filleting a kilo of baby indian mackerel. How tedious! Filleting mackerel is so tedious Julia, but I'm sure you wouldn't eat your herring with the bones and the head intact. It has stopped raining, in fact today was very hot that it dried up the trash, that I was able to burn all of it. And though it was a quiet day today, I did so much running around and work that I haven't had much chance to watch TV and play GTA. But I plan to remedy that deficiency immediately.

Thus, I watched "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" on Shadowplay TV. Well, that was what the computer chose for me to watch at the moment. Do you remember Marilyn Monroe? She was certainly very pretty, she could move very well, and she was blonde, and we both know how much I like blondes. But she's not my type: I prefer tall, thin, androgynous German blondes. Don't get too thin! Please eat properly! Anyway, in the movie she said, "A man being rich is like a girl being pretty." Do you believe that, Julia? I'm certainly am grateful to Allah that you are so beautiful. But I am not rich, and I certainly do not want to give you my poverty: I would rather die alone. That is why it is most important to me that you be straight with God. Please conduct your religion with sincerity to Allah, that is most important to me, and do not attribute to others what only God can do and give.

The greatest mystery is only with Allah, from the routine of the plants and animals to the cycle of the universe. We tell the humans to be grateful to God, still they believe they have the option of turning away, or they just turn away. And it is their turning away that is what ruins them in the next life, after this temporary life is over.

By the way Julia, thank you for your love.

Letter to Julia 20111108

Assalamu'alaikum, beautiful Julia! You are MY girl, yes you are! Yes, I love you, and I look forward for us to spend our lives together. InsyaAllah.

All eyes on the kampung lately, huh? I guess it's partially my fault for being here. Being There. What a great movie, you should watch it. But really, I can only be where Allah puts me. As you know, it is the Hajj Eid, which is a public holiday here in Malaysia, so I hope this letter isn't too late for you, since the internet cafe was closed for the holiday. On the Hajj Eid, it is mandatory for the wealthy to make a sacrifice of a livestock animal, namely a goat, sheep, cattle, or camel. I haven't seen any chickens during this ritual. No, not a sacrifice on an altar. Please! A meat is considered halal if a Muslim kills the animal by cutting the throat, and saying, "BismillahirRahmanirRahim (In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful)". This year, I was present at the local mosque for this ritual. I didn't get to see them actually slaughter the beast, it was done elsewhere, where they also skinned and gutted it, as well as separated the legs, head, rib cage, and rump. 2 steers were donated this year to the mosque, one small and one medium. At the mosque, volunteers cut up the meat and bones further for division, and I watched the entire process with great interest. The division of the meat was a very noisy process, with grown men gossiping like nesting hens. It seemed almost primal, like the opening scene of "Apocalypto". As far as I could understand, the sacrifice is supposed to be divided into 7, where the donor got either 2/7 or 1/3. Comprende? Needless to say, none of the villagers were professional butcher-accountants, so there was an element of chaos in the division. But they did their best I'm sure, may Allah be the judge. Cattle here in Malaysia is leaner than US cattle, so the tenderloin and ribeye was nothing spectacular as far as I could see. Beef intestine is what is considered a delicacy here in Perlis, so that was the first to disappear. Me? All I received was a kilo of sirloin/chuck/rump, and some ribs. When you get here insyaAllah, I'll take you to the ritual. Maybe we'll get to see the actual slaughter!

Letter to Julia 20111104

Hi there my sweetie Julia! How are you, my precious beauty? Today, I'm fasting. No, it's not mandatory, I'm fasting because it's fun. Fun, fun fun! As you know, or I told you before, we Muslims celebrate 2 Eids: the first Eid is celebrated after the fasting month of Ramadan is completed, and the 2nd is a 2 day Eid after the Hajj ritual is completed. Sunday is when we celebrate the Hajj Eid. I guess it's kind of like having 2 Christmases. I'm not one for routine rituals on public holidays, I just do the bare minimum. If I get into heaven, then I'll really celebrate. Yay! No more tedious and disappointing materialism and worldly affairs!

My, you are a pretty thing, aren't you? What are we to do with that huge wardrobe of yours? We're going to have to dress you up appropriately before we go out. Start collecting hats and scarves! Hey, hop on the back of my motorcycle, and we'll go to the seaside. I drive really slowly, but we can still have a conversation as we ride. You can have your own motorcycle of course, but it would be harder to chat, and you probably wouldn't want to drive at 30 kmh. How about you ride a bicycle instead?

As for the plotters, certainly Allah is watching them. How about they get swallowed up by the earth? Or they get jumped on as they go about their daily routine? Or they perish through a process of slow wastage?

Letter to Julia 201111102

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! HOORAY!!!!!!

Is it your birthday yet? It's almost time for your birthday! When is your birthday? I'm sure your birthday is coming up soon! Oh, I'm so excited! It's nearly time for my sweetie's birthday! Oh, it is my girly-girl's birthday! Happy birthday, my love!

Ah, love letters in this computer age can be so convenient- I can just cut and paste, and then half the letter is written! But we all know that it's not that easy. Having to stay above a general lack of creativity (especially in the mass media), trying to stay true to the heart, having to teach the Qur'an to my wife... no, it's not easy. Ya Allah, please grant me Julia as my perfect spouse, please grant us love, beauty, good health and happiness in this life as well as the hereafter, please don't divorce us. Please grant us a long, happy life together with beautiful, happy, healthy and pious children, please protect us. Please forgive our sins, please make us great Muslims, please grant us heaven together, and please make our path easy.

Now, you've been in the modeling biz for quite a while already, haven't you? Nearly 8 years, right? Eventually, you got used to all that jetting around, the early morning fittings, and the chaos of the runway, right? I've been in the music business as a musician for about 26 years now. Certainly, I'm not at the point of canceling concerts at 50,000+ venues at the last minute. I chose to abandon all the corruption to follow the path of Allah. All the lack of privacy, the acts of spite and jealousy, the Satanism, paganism and atheism, the loss of beloved few friends, the perpetual plots of others to enslave me, the callousness of the listener, etc etc etc, I got used to all that, and it doesn't matter if skeptics believe it or not because they're not even a sub-plot of the story! However, I didn't want to bring all that shit back here to Malaysia with me. I knew it would happen, but I couldn't explain that to anybody back then: they wouldn't listen. If people are listening today, then the credit goes to Allah: Allah made them listen. I could have chosen to become a martyr for Allah in the USA as a street musician, but instead I ran back home to my Mommy. Now don't get me wrong, I love my Mommy with all my heart, and I'm grateful that Allah brought me and my parents together again. But in retrospect, it doesn't really matter where I am. People can never run away from their destiny, no matter how unimportant their problems are to others. Certainly, the entertainment business is the most difficult business in the world, and the audience has a lust for pain and suffering. Wouldn't it be entertaining to achieve happiness together while they seek our destruction? InsyaAllah! I am a servant of Allah, and if I am able to spread the message of Islam with this music that Allah gave me, then perhaps Allah will grant me my reward in this life as well as the hereafter, and trounce those who plot to harm us.

Happy birthday, Julia. I love you, and I want to marry you.