Letter to Julia 20111108

Assalamu'alaikum, beautiful Julia! You are MY girl, yes you are! Yes, I love you, and I look forward for us to spend our lives together. InsyaAllah.

All eyes on the kampung lately, huh? I guess it's partially my fault for being here. Being There. What a great movie, you should watch it. But really, I can only be where Allah puts me. As you know, it is the Hajj Eid, which is a public holiday here in Malaysia, so I hope this letter isn't too late for you, since the internet cafe was closed for the holiday. On the Hajj Eid, it is mandatory for the wealthy to make a sacrifice of a livestock animal, namely a goat, sheep, cattle, or camel. I haven't seen any chickens during this ritual. No, not a sacrifice on an altar. Please! A meat is considered halal if a Muslim kills the animal by cutting the throat, and saying, "BismillahirRahmanirRahim (In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful)". This year, I was present at the local mosque for this ritual. I didn't get to see them actually slaughter the beast, it was done elsewhere, where they also skinned and gutted it, as well as separated the legs, head, rib cage, and rump. 2 steers were donated this year to the mosque, one small and one medium. At the mosque, volunteers cut up the meat and bones further for division, and I watched the entire process with great interest. The division of the meat was a very noisy process, with grown men gossiping like nesting hens. It seemed almost primal, like the opening scene of "Apocalypto". As far as I could understand, the sacrifice is supposed to be divided into 7, where the donor got either 2/7 or 1/3. Comprende? Needless to say, none of the villagers were professional butcher-accountants, so there was an element of chaos in the division. But they did their best I'm sure, may Allah be the judge. Cattle here in Malaysia is leaner than US cattle, so the tenderloin and ribeye was nothing spectacular as far as I could see. Beef intestine is what is considered a delicacy here in Perlis, so that was the first to disappear. Me? All I received was a kilo of sirloin/chuck/rump, and some ribs. When you get here insyaAllah, I'll take you to the ritual. Maybe we'll get to see the actual slaughter!

Letter to Julia 20111104

Hi there my sweetie Julia! How are you, my precious beauty? Today, I'm fasting. No, it's not mandatory, I'm fasting because it's fun. Fun, fun fun! As you know, or I told you before, we Muslims celebrate 2 Eids: the first Eid is celebrated after the fasting month of Ramadan is completed, and the 2nd is a 2 day Eid after the Hajj ritual is completed. Sunday is when we celebrate the Hajj Eid. I guess it's kind of like having 2 Christmases. I'm not one for routine rituals on public holidays, I just do the bare minimum. If I get into heaven, then I'll really celebrate. Yay! No more tedious and disappointing materialism and worldly affairs!

My, you are a pretty thing, aren't you? What are we to do with that huge wardrobe of yours? We're going to have to dress you up appropriately before we go out. Start collecting hats and scarves! Hey, hop on the back of my motorcycle, and we'll go to the seaside. I drive really slowly, but we can still have a conversation as we ride. You can have your own motorcycle of course, but it would be harder to chat, and you probably wouldn't want to drive at 30 kmh. How about you ride a bicycle instead?

As for the plotters, certainly Allah is watching them. How about they get swallowed up by the earth? Or they get jumped on as they go about their daily routine? Or they perish through a process of slow wastage?

Letter to Julia 201111102

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! HOORAY!!!!!!

Is it your birthday yet? It's almost time for your birthday! When is your birthday? I'm sure your birthday is coming up soon! Oh, I'm so excited! It's nearly time for my sweetie's birthday! Oh, it is my girly-girl's birthday! Happy birthday, my love!

Ah, love letters in this computer age can be so convenient- I can just cut and paste, and then half the letter is written! But we all know that it's not that easy. Having to stay above a general lack of creativity (especially in the mass media), trying to stay true to the heart, having to teach the Qur'an to my wife... no, it's not easy. Ya Allah, please grant me Julia as my perfect spouse, please grant us love, beauty, good health and happiness in this life as well as the hereafter, please don't divorce us. Please grant us a long, happy life together with beautiful, happy, healthy and pious children, please protect us. Please forgive our sins, please make us great Muslims, please grant us heaven together, and please make our path easy.

Now, you've been in the modeling biz for quite a while already, haven't you? Nearly 8 years, right? Eventually, you got used to all that jetting around, the early morning fittings, and the chaos of the runway, right? I've been in the music business as a musician for about 26 years now. Certainly, I'm not at the point of canceling concerts at 50,000+ venues at the last minute. I chose to abandon all the corruption to follow the path of Allah. All the lack of privacy, the acts of spite and jealousy, the Satanism, paganism and atheism, the loss of beloved few friends, the perpetual plots of others to enslave me, the callousness of the listener, etc etc etc, I got used to all that, and it doesn't matter if skeptics believe it or not because they're not even a sub-plot of the story! However, I didn't want to bring all that shit back here to Malaysia with me. I knew it would happen, but I couldn't explain that to anybody back then: they wouldn't listen. If people are listening today, then the credit goes to Allah: Allah made them listen. I could have chosen to become a martyr for Allah in the USA as a street musician, but instead I ran back home to my Mommy. Now don't get me wrong, I love my Mommy with all my heart, and I'm grateful that Allah brought me and my parents together again. But in retrospect, it doesn't really matter where I am. People can never run away from their destiny, no matter how unimportant their problems are to others. Certainly, the entertainment business is the most difficult business in the world, and the audience has a lust for pain and suffering. Wouldn't it be entertaining to achieve happiness together while they seek our destruction? InsyaAllah! I am a servant of Allah, and if I am able to spread the message of Islam with this music that Allah gave me, then perhaps Allah will grant me my reward in this life as well as the hereafter, and trounce those who plot to harm us.

Happy birthday, Julia. I love you, and I want to marry you.

Letter to Julia 20111031

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! YAY!! HOORAY!!!!!!

Is it your birthday yet? It's almost time for your birthday! When is your birthday? I'm sure your birthday is coming up soon! Oh, I'm so excited! It's nearly time for my sweetie's birthday!

Well, I don't really celebrate birthdays, so I wouldn't really care if my birthday weren't celebrated. As Lilith Sternin-Crane so glibly put it: "I fail to see how the reminder of one's passing years can be a cause for celebration." I just want you to know that I (somewhat) remember your birthday, and to me everyday with you is a cause for celebration.

Now, remember that the goal of our marriage is to slow everything down, and truly love and cherish each other and our life together. Is that OK with you? Yeah, we have no privacy anyway, and I'm sure everyone else out there would love to run us both into the ground as quickly as possible just for the sake of entertainment, but that doesn't mean that we should allow them to do that. So let's slow everything down. SLOW SLOW SLOW. I'm a slow worker anyhow, lazy too, and if anyone would tell me how to create music, then they can just do so themselves without my involvement. I try to have the "Act of God" kind of approach, where things build up oh so slowly, then suddenly it comes out of nowhere, from a direction that is not perceived. SLOW SLOW SLOW. Meanwhile, I get to make the love to my sweetie, tend to my garden, experiment with cooking, watch TV, read comics, and play video games. What's the rush? By the Will of Allah, to good people come good things in good time, and the evil ones will get their just dues rammed into them when they least expect it, from directions they did not perceive.

Hey, I'll write back Wednesday or Thursday to wish you happy birthday. It is your birthday, isn't it? I'm such a scatterbrain sometimes! Musicians, huh?

Letter to Julia 20111029

Hi Julia my sweetie, how are you? Working as usual, I see. Things are rather.... strange here, as strange a little village can get. Then again, the world has become a small town. I've been spending much time in the garden, cutting and burning. THe music school is renovating, so I haven't had to go there recently. Thus, I do gardening, and enjoy my laptop as Allah allowed me to have it back recently. Alhamdulillah. It's nice to play GTA again, and all the other video games I've collected over the years (besides Krush, Kill and Destroy). Plus my comic collection, which I read while watching Shadowplay TV, which is much smoother on my old laptop, as opposed to the decrepit old computer that I had been using which I dug up from the trash. Your photos are much sharper, too. Is that your left eye gleaming while walking the Victoria's Secret runway? You be a good girl now. Remember that almost everyone is corrupt nowadays, which is out of fashion. Passe. Blah.

You and I, we waste too much of our energy on people who consider themselves self-sufficient, who try to break our hearts with their words, who refuse to show God any respect because they want to have their asses kicked. But it is not our place to kick their asses, all we can do is to turn away and leave God to deal with them eventually. Let them bark and whine, you just maintain your prayers, and don't don't pass over the sincere searchers. We pass them over because of their humility, in preference to people who have wealth and power. Don't pass them by. Please find a way to help them.

Qur'an 20111029

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

88. Strain not your eyes at what We have bestowed on certain classes of them, nor grieve over them, but lower your wings to the believers.

89. And say, "I am indeed he that warns openly and without ambiguity."

90. As We sent down on those who divided,

91. As have made the Qur'an into shreds.

92. Therefore, by your Lord, We will, of a surety, call them to account,

93. For all their deeds.

94. Therefore expound openly what you are commanded, and turn away from those who join false gods with Allah.

The Rocky Tract 15:88-94
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I am indeed he that warns openly and without ambiguity.

Letter to Julia 20111026

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

So as we wait, as we wait for Allah to bring us together, it is easy to succumb to emotions of futility, and actions of despair. But I have not given up hope of our love materializing: it even seems like I'm ready to take our love to the grave, and the next life. Patience is truly a gift from Allah. Meanwhile, it is my duty to teach you what I know about the Qur'an, and others who happen to read this my love letter to you. I pray that Allah will grant you patience and resolve, and do know that Allah is Oft-Forgiving, most Merciful. And that God's penalty will indeed be the most grievous penalty.

Materialize? That is what most people expect out of faith, in the name of "pragmatism". They won't even open their hearts to listen to anything else! If I earn heaven, then Allah will wipe out this resentment that I feel in my heart, and the fatigue as well. Resentment in general my beloved, not for you. When the angels visited Abraham, he didn't recognize them, in fact he felt fearful of them (Al-Hijr 15:52). This is where I believe that Abraham never received any visitation from angels until he was old, therefore his awareness of God was achieved by his own intelligence, at a young age too, growing up in a family of pagans at that. Which is possibly why he is the most beloved of humans to Allah. Anyway, the angels told Abraham good news that he was about to have a son. He retorted that they brought him good news that he was old, then asked them what the good news was. They replied that they had brought the truth, and told him not to despair. He said, "And who despairs of the mercy of his Lord, but such as go astray?" (Al-Hijr 15:56). Then, Abraham asked the angels what their business was. They said they have been to a people in sin (Sodom and Gomorrah), excepting the followers of Lot, for they were to be saved.

Except his wife, who they have ascertained would lag behind. Do you lag behind? You are not my wife, so now I am as yet unmarried. And it is not your fault, for when on the global stage, one can only take what God gives, as the situation is out of your reach. Right? The sickness of Sodom and Gomorrah has become widespread all over the world, so much that one in my position, this "chick singer", is out of place to have a wife.