Letter to Erin 20151101

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, sweet Erin.  How's it going today?  Don't be blue, because I love you and I want to marry you.  I need you.  I'll have to admit that I miss that little puppy.  I can't get the picture of him out of my head when I left him in the jungle, as I sped away on my motorcycle and saw him in my rear view mirror, running as fast as he can to catch me.  **sob**  But he would have a better chance of survival where there are no humans.  No, I didn't want a dog, nor do I want a dog.  I just wanted to show the animal some kindness.  Besides, I have all my kitties to cry over.  We're all going to pass away someday.  From Allah is our origin, and to Allah is our return.

Otherwise, there's nothing out of the ordinary happening today.  I paid my bills this morning, and bought some flour and butter.  Nothing special on the menu, either.  I don't want to tell you what I had for dinner, you wouldn't approve.  It was tasty, though.  Let's just say that my cats like my cooking.  I have some encoding to do tonight, but otherwise I'm still a bit bummed out, so I just want to relax and watch TV.

Letter to Erin 20151031

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Today when I went to take out the garbage, I found the puppy from the other day by the tree by the dumpster.  His brother wasn't there, I assume he got killed.  I felt sorry for it, so I took it home and bathed it.  It had acquired an eye infection and a runny nose since I saw it last, so I don't think it was a wild dog.  So I rubbed ophthalmic lotion into its eye, and gave it some food and warmth.  My Mom wouldn't allow me to keep it, and I am not allowed to defy my mother on such an issue, so I took it into the jungle where it would have no human enemies.

However the prohibition of dogs in Islam is a serious issue, because we need to keep ourselves away from people who consider themselves smarter than God and prophet Muhammad (peace be on him), and create unjust and arbitrary new laws to impose on Muslims.  The Qur'an has no prohibition on dogs, and the verses of the Qur'an have a divine Guarantee of non-corruption.  What's left is the hadith (order of the Prophet, peace be on him), and there still isn't any prohibition on dogs, even as pets.  There is some contention about dog saliva on utensils.  Then I came across the the statement of this one guy who claimed that he heard the Prophet (peace be on him) order to kill all dogs, but that would make the Prophet (peace be on him) contradict himself.  And you know as well as I that God's messenger would not contradict God.

I suspect you have a dog, and I am with you in being its friend.  But I have no money, therefore I have no money to acquire land, therefore I have no legal home.  Ya Allah, please be so kind to allow me to legally own this land I live on and where your house would be, then I will be with you in raising a dog to be protector of your home if that be your wish.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151030

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello sweet Erin!  How's it going?  I'm sure you're busy being the center of attention.  Well, as long as you don't seek or crave it, then you'll be OK inshaAllah.  Give your heart a break, OK?  I love you, and I need you.

Oh, nothing special going on here today.  In fact, when I looked around me at 9 am, I had nothing to do.  Well...  I didn't really want to do anything.  I didn't tell anyone that, though.  It was a pleasant surprise, though.  The situation was a convergence of things already been done, should be done later, or don't have the money to do.  So I slept the morning away.  Ah!  Simple pleasures.  I wasn't altogether lazy today, though.  I cut the grass in the evening.

Dinner isn't all that special, either.  I have a lot of tenderloin but more urgently, the hot sauce (also known as sambal belacan) my Mom gave me needs to be used up quickly or the mold will get it first.  Can't be frozen, either.  So for dinner is tenderloin with white rice and sambal belacan.  Simplicity, Erin.  Slurp!  Alhamdulillah.  The food needs to sit for a while, so I'll eat it after I write to you then after the sunset prayer.

Letter to Erin 20151029

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  It's raining right now.  I just finished the sunset prayer, and now I'm writing to you.  How are you feeling, my dearest?  I pray you are feeling healthy and confident.  I love you, and I need you.

I spent most of my day in the kitchen, making my home made hot sauce.  I made a double batch today, so that took extra time.  I harvested hot peppers from my yard.  Not a great harvest, but I still had some left in the cooler from last time.  The key for me is the hot red pepper puree.  I guess any brand would do, but I choose the one that doesn't hurt my stomach.  No matter how much hot sauce I guzzle.  Also in the mix is garlic, corn starch and a little bit of water.

I had to tend my baby mangoes in the evening, so I didn't get much yard work done.  They are about 6 months old now and the right age for grafting, so I'm getting that done slowly and cautiously.  When I took out the garbage to the dumpster, I found a couple of puppies foraging through the trash.  There were 2 of them, and they were smaller than the size of my smallest cat.  Both of them were male.  They were the color of wild dogs, so I assume that they were wild and barely independent.  What struck me the most was how clean they were.  No dirt, no scars, no bruises, no blemishes, perfect from snout to each paw to tail.  I thought that they were still small, and would get killed.  But they didn't approach me, or ask for any help from me: they just ignored me and continued their scavenging.  I didn't talk to them or offer to help or anything like that, but if they had asked me for help, I would have helped them.  I have never raised a dog in my life.  I had some errands to run, so I kept an eye on them every time I passed by the dumpster.  Eventually the 2 brothers wandered off and disappeared.  They were so small, Erin.

Letter to Erin 20151028

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Erin, I saw your basketball thingy about the Truth or Dare Horse.  I'll have to remind you that the sexiest part of you is your sweetness.  You probably don't mean to either, which is extra sweet.  But it does make some people angry, regardless of their gender.  Not me, I like that part of you very much.  So be careful, OK?  Do not underestimate the power of a beautiful woman.  Having people suffer feels worse than loneliness.  If you're a good person, that is.

Now don't get me wrong, Sweetie.  I love you and I need you.  Sure, you can only be yourself.  That's what makes you so beautiful.  I want you to watch this old movie whenever you have time and relaxing and such.  I used to be a huge fan of Louise Brooks.  I even had my hair cut like hers!  The look didn't work out for me because I have a lumpy back of my head, not to mention I'm built like a chimpanzee.  Brooksie was self destructive, and not just in a chemical way either.  I think most people would agree that she was too intelligent combined with too stubborn.

I went to the butcher this morning.  Early this morning.  I managed to score some tenderloin.  You can't find tenderloin at an American grocery store!  I like tenderloin alhamdulillah, but it's a bit too lean.  My parents prefer the brisket, but I think it's too difficult to pan fry.  There's a mystery cut that I like better, but I don't know exactly where it is.  I suspect it's somewhere around the flank.  Anyway, I didn't have steak today.  I portioned the beef into steaks, but I had fried calamari for dinner.  These kittens are so spoiled!  They don't like raw squid, but they are all over my fried calamari!  And if I don't give them a snack, they start crying.  Wah!  Wah!  Shut up!  Go and eat cat food!  Oh, not you Erin.  You can join me for food anytime.

Letter to Erin 20151027

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello again, my beloved!  And how's business today?  Well, you are America's Sweetheart, and mine.  But how are you feeling?  Your emotions are so important, and so important to me.  So please make an effort to calm your heart.  Drugs and alcohol won't do it, so please pray.  Please try to stay at home if you're not working.  I love you, and I need you.

It's all business here for me today.  In the morning I paid my power bill, then went to the grocery store get some red hot pepper puree.  My Mom gave me some fried noodles for lunch, so I didn't have to cook.  After voice training, I chopped down some of the thick scrub by the side of the road.  I used a hacksaw, rather.  There was suddenly a water outage, so I couldn't cook dinner.  So I bought some dinner at the night market.  There was an ice cream truck there, so I bought a couple of vanilla cones and sat at the side of the road on my motorcycle and watched the crowd pass by.  Want some ice cream?  There's still no running water right now, but it is raining.

Letter to Erin 20151026

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How's business today?  I'm sure you are the top of your game.  So have fun with it, and please make sure you maintain your prayers.  Calm your heart with prayer, not intoxication.  Boss Model.  You are MY girl.  I love you, and I need you.

The sun finally came out today, after being MIA for a week.  It had rained a few times during the last week, and it rained last night as well.  The weather people claim that rain washes away the smog, but I don't know about that.  There are still many rain clouds in the air, so it's not altogether sunny, but perhaps I can burn all that trash in my front yard soon.  The population of humans and plants here isn't dense enough to produce haze, so this smog came from somewhere else, probably even as far away as New York City.  That means it will be back, certainly it will come back.

The recent fish crisis gave me a craving for cheeseburgers, a craving generated by the tedium of acquisition of other raw materials.  For some odd reason burger buns are not easy to find around here lately, but I find that sliced bread tastes better than burger buns so I don't miss it that much.  Burger buns are for presentation only.  This makes my cheeseburgers bigger than usual, so I never make doubles.  Instead I made 3 for my dinner, with lettuce and tomatoes from my own garden.  I was too lazy to make mayo, so I cooked up some soft eggs instead.  Whenever I go to McDonald's, I always get the same thing every time: 3 double cheeseburgers.  Sometimes I vary it by getting 2 double cheeseburgers and some fries.  What do you get when you go to McDonald's?  Medium fries and a garden salad?

Letter to Erin 20151025

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my most beautiful Erin!  How's my beloved Pro doing today?  It's great to be successful, so please give thanks to Allah and maintain your prayers.  I want you to always keep in mind your own well-being, and guard those precious emotions of yours.  I love you and I need you.

I went out in search of a snapper this morning.  I woke up at 3:30 am, not necessarily intentionally.  I do that sometimes.  It's a strange rhythm, so I conduct extra worship.  I knew I had to go to the market after the dawn prayer, so I tried to grab a nap after worship.  All the snapper available today was small, the size of my hand.  Now don't get me wrong, snapper tastes great at any size.  But a snapper the size of my hand is only good for one meal.  So the better value is to buy a big fish.  I use the 2 fillets for 2 servings of sushi or whatever, the head for curry, the bones for broth, the skin for a crispy fry, and I keep the roe and liver in the freezer for whatever use they may have.  That's 6 meals out of one fish!  So I didn't buy a snapper this morning.  I'll wait until I come across a fish that's about 2 kilos.  And you know the added advantage allowing the small fish to grow big, people?  They get a chance to produce young, so you don't wipe out the species!  Needless to say, I was rather annoyed this morning.  Maybe I'm just not a morning person.

Letter to Erin 20151024

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hey there, Erin dahling.  How are you today, Sweetie?  I suppose it's that time of year where supermodel politics are in full rage.  You're at the top of the heap to me, because you're MY girl.  Oh, you're so sweet.  Please make sure that success doesn't steal away your sweetness.  I love you Erin, and I need you.

I still had all that scad fillet in my freezer.  Adult hardtail scad is only good for sushi or sashimi on the very first day.  This is because it had powerful flavor, and after the first day it becomes too overbearing to eat raw, no matter if you freeze it.  The younger fish are more tasteless.  But no matter, scad is a perfect match with marinara sauce.  Like sardines, but different.  Meatier.  So that's what I had for dinner.  I heated up my marinara sauce, then added chunks of scad.  I enjoyed it with fresh tortillas.  Italiana Mexicana!  I wish I had some mozzarella cheese.  I have more in the cooler if you want to come over.

Letter to Erin 20151023

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are you today, my love?  Busy, busy?  It's a slow moving day for me, but one thing about my life is that my chores wait for me.  So I get to them when I get to them, then I find that I was on time after all.  What the hell am I saying?  I'm lazy!  It's another hazy day here.  The country air should be so clean, there's obviously not enough people here to generate such smog.  Not enough vegetation to burn, either.  This smog came from somewhere else.

Stuffed won tons take a long time to make, so after the usual round of chores I spent my morning making stuffed won tons.  I could eat a copious amount of won tons if done right.  Today, I experimented with a new flavor: fish liver.  While I was in the middle of it, my Mom gave me a whole lot of fried rice which I just had for dinner.  My fish liver won tons tasted OK, but I couldn't taste the fish liver.  I could sense the, if you may, weight of the fish liver so I filled up faster.  Either that, or I'm all won tonned out because I've eating won tons a lot lately.  I need to practice bass next.  The name of my bass is "Joe", as in "average".  I write music bass first, so I don't really bother with speed and articulation anymore.  I think ego driven riffs are for guitar solos only.  I'm sure there a lot of better players than me.  I hope you are giving your heart a break and taking your time.  Your world waits for you, Princess.  You are MY girl.  I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151022

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello again, beautiful Erin!  Keeping safe, my dearest?  Please do so.  I want the best for you my love, for I love you. And I need you.  I woke this morning ready for my fish.  Eeyah, cooking takes a long time nowadays.  Gone are the times when I can make a pizza in 10 minutes.  But I did get to prep my fish yesterday.  I removed the guts, the head and the tail, filleted it, and kept the skin and spine.  There was still a lot of meat attached to the skin and spine.  I had some desiccated coconut left in the freezer, so I cooked that to death in red hot pepper puree and lime juice.  When that was dry enough, I added some chopped garlic to it, stuffed the sides of the fish with it, added some slices of fresh tofu, then bound the fish together with string.  Then I fried it up, not too crispy.  It tasted OK.  Next time, I'll use fresh coconut.  What tasted the most awesome was the dregs of oil at the bottom of the wok.

It's a super hazy day today.  Very surreal.  But incredibly humid.  It's like a dreamscape out there.  I went to the pharmacy in the evening to get some eye drops, I also stopped for gasoline and cooking oil.  See you later, Dreamer Girl.

Letter to Erin 20151021

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello beautiful Erin!  How are you, my gorgeous darling?  I suppose you're having fun with sports.  I'm sorry, but I'm not a sports fan.  I support the teams you love.  I like fish, though.  This morning, my Dad gave me a big scad.  A hardtail scad, with thick skin perfect for grilling.  But I need a new grill, plus I don't have any butter for basting, so I'm going to have to figure out someway else to cook it.  Let me teach you how to prep it.  Hardtail scad doesn't have scales.  First I use a pair of kitchen scissors to make a cut beginning from the anus right up to the gills.  Don't cut deeply, just deep enough to reach the stomach cavity.  The base of the gills start right at the mouth, so cut there.  Then make another cut at the opposite end of the gills, right at the roof of the skull.  So now you loosened the gills, pull on them with your hand, making sure you loosen the membranes that hold the stomach parts to the fish.  All the stomach parts should be attached to the gills, except the roe.  Separate the roe cautiously- it's delicious!  I got soft roe with my fish today.  Not as tasty as mackerel roe, but still good.  Keep the liver, too.  Then I used my big old Chinese cleaver to chop off the head and the tail.  My cleaver is pretty sharp, so I used it to fillet the fish.  I separated to biggest lengths of flesh from the skin, and put them away in the freezer.  There's still a lot of flesh stuck to the skin and bones, so I will be frying these up tomorrow inshaAllah.

Normally, I would have sashimi or sushi with the fillet, but today I want won tons stuffed with cuttlefish and chicken wings for dinner.  Ah, praise Allah!  It's a good day for food.  You must come and share my dinner with me.  I love you Erin, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151020

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I absolutely must teach you how to process seafood.  Ugh!  Now don't get me wrong, I love seafood.  But prepping seafood is so tedious.  And stinky.  And slimy.  It's not like chicken or beef.  Tonight's seafood is cuttlefish.  Cuttlefish is a squid and like all seafood, fresh cuttlefish shouldn't have any smell.  Until you open it up, and reveal what they eat.  Fresh squid should have tight skin with evenly distributed color: white squid may be because the skin was peeled off to give the illusion of fresh.  Squid is stinkier than fish, but the good thing is that cats hate the smell of squid, and they leave me alone when I'm working with it.  First I separate the heads from the bodies, by carefully pulling it out of the body with the guts still attached.  Then I remove the ink sacs, the beak, and the eyes.  I keep the stomach and liver if it doesn't smell bad.  If there's something in the stomach, then it would smell bad.  If you managed to pull all the guts out with the heads, then there should be nothing left in the bodies.  Remove the spines from the bodies, and they're good to go.  Just wash them off, and keep the heads and the bodies in separate Tupperware.  Squid freezes well, and keep for a long time in the freezer.

But it's not squid for dinner.  My Mom gave some tomato rice, with chicken in a spicy red sauce, and a mixed pickle.  This stuff is usually served at local weddings.  I would share it with you, but I already ate it all.  Plus, you're not here.  Wish you were here.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151019

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, beautiful Erin!  How's life treating you today?    What's it like to be so gorgeous?  You're such a sweetheart, Erin.  I love you so much.  Of course I need you.  You're my girl.

Nothing all that special happening today either.  Floofy is on a self imposed diet.  She does eat, but much less than she used to so her poop isn't as big.  She's still a fat cat, though.  I was right about her daughters ---- and -------: they're always in heat.  They take a 4 day break, then go back in heat.  Before they became sexually mature, they were somewhat disciplined about their pee.  At least it was somewhere around the cat box.  5 siblings, what do you expect.  Then they started to go in heat, so they used that excuse to point their pee wherever they please or rather, wherever is the best chance that I would step in it.  Varmints!  ------- has to be the naughtiest kitten I've ever had, and she sets a bad example.  But these kittens don't copy their mother, who is very well behaved.  Floofy had a tough beginning, perhaps that's why she's so well behaved as an adult.  Is that the reason?  That the kittens are too spoiled?  I love all my cats, though.

Other than that, there's nothing special on the menu either.  Just flat bread with leftover fish curry.  I clean my parents' bedroom every Sunday.  Even if I had money to pay a maid, my mother doesn't like strangers in her bedroom.  The robotics experts need to focus on designing house cleaning robots.  Focus on need, and that's where you can make some money, people.  Don't just think "war".  What the hell am I talking about?  Oh yeah, I would buy a house cleaning robot.  Other than that, I did some burning in the evening.  The grass over at your house inshaAllah is nice and short, and the yard is looking nice and respectable.  I still can't catch up with all the trees but inshaAllah, we'll get there, Sweetie.  We'll get there.

Letter to Erin 20151018

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Oh hi Erin.  How are you, my darling?  Are you looking after yourself properly?  Please do so because I love you very much, and I need you.

Not much happening here today, my love.  Had fish curry for brunch, I cut grass over at your house inshaAllah after voice training, and now I'm waiting for them to call the sunset prayer, and after I pray then it's beef and potatoes with marinara sauce for dinner.  Want some?

Erin, I want you to know that if anything happens to me here, I would not impose on you.  I understand and accept that it is not your place to help or protect me.  It is my job to look after you.

Letter to Erin 20151017

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How's it going today, Sweetie?  I love you lots!  And I need you.  I hope you are eating properly, and getting enough rest.  Please look after yourself, since I'm not there to feed you OK?

Since I had all that mackerel, of course I made another batch of fish curry.  Alhamdulillah it turned out great today.  What's my fish curry recipe?  I don't know!  I don't have a recipe!  Besides, there must be a million recipes for fish curry out there, so people don't need mine.  I just try to follow my Mom's recipe somewhat.  She makes the bestest fish curry.  Plus I don't have the right ingredients, plus she never told me all the ingredients and measurements, plus I had this stuff that I had to use up.  Thus I flew by the seat of my pants as usual.  Story of my life.  There is no such thing as control.  The best we can do is to run towards Allah.  But my fish curry turned out great alhamdulillah.  Just remember to put the fish in last and not to overcook the fish, or it will disintegrate into the broth and make an unpalatable mess.

Letter to Erin 20151016

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Go Cubs!  Yay!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!  Woo Hoo!!

Hi Erin.  How are you feeling today, my love?  I have a bit of a headache today, probably from drinking too much coffee yesterday.  I did a load of shopping this morning.  Just the basics: coffee, sugar, creamer, soap, shampoo, noodles, and tomato soup.  Hey, these smart phones are pretty handy for keeping my shopping list!  I have a good tomato harvest, so I'll be making marinara sauce.  Mackerel was cheap today, half price from last time.  None of them had any roe.  I ate half of it as sashimi for lunch.  I'm thinking of a super thick curry sauce for tomorrow, because all I have for coconut milk is the thick stuff.  I try not to waste food, so I had some shrimp heads left over from the last time I made stuffed won tons, so I fried them up crispy then refried them in a simple batter of flour, egg, onions, water, salt and pepper as shrimp head croquettes.  Westerners balk at eating shrimp heads, but I have no problem with it. Very tasty and crispy.  Now I'm longing for jumbo shrimp heads stuffed with cream cheese fried in spicy sauce.  Oh so good!  But that's rich man's food.  What have you been eating?  Are you living on a diet of caviar on toast?  Princess!  I had caviar once, but all I could taste was salt.  I prefer fresh roe- doesn't need salt.  Try to eat a balanced diet because you're so busy, OK?  I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151015

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  How are you, my darling?  Are you busy being the heart of the party?  You're my sweetheart.  Please look after yourself in my absence.  I love you and I need you.  I'm writing this letter a little earlier than usual, because it had been raining from 2 to 4 pm, and quite heavily too.  So it's too wet to cut grass (I tried that before and got wet gook all over my face, and a cold thereof), and the crops don't need watering.  Then my Mom got me some rice from downtown so I didn't have to bother about dinner.  She also said I smell like a cow.  What?  I took a shower at 11 am, and stayed in the air conditioning until 4!  It must the humidity, because the morning was hot and sunny.  Or it could be the influence of Floofy's daughters.  They're always in heat.  They take a break for 4 days, then go back into heat for 2 weeks.  Filthy beasts!  My mop has never been so busy.  But as a paradox, my floor has never been cleaner.  So I'm going to take this opportunity to laze around, watch TV and play video games.  Later after the night prayer, I think I'll practice bass.  Ya Allah, please grant me a good fretless bass and bass amp combo!  And the drum set I want!  And a 12 string gold top Les Paul!  With a nice tube amp setup!  And a complete studio setup!  So many necessities...

Letter to Erin 20151014

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I don't know why it takes me so long to process seafood.  Probably because my sink is so small with no work space whatever- it's just one of those hand sinks.  It's not meant to wash dishes or process food.  I had to break the pipe outside so the water flows onto the ground, and not clog the pipe.  Oh don't worry, I'm cautious with water inshaAllah.  Anyway, I had to process the sole I bought last night, but they all fit into the sink.  I have to process the big fish outside.  Anyway again, it's black sole, if you happen to want to try this for yourself.  Makes a big difference from other flatfish, because it's the easiest to work with!  It also tastes great raw.  It has large scales, so I had to scale both sides.  The skin can be peeled off, so make sure you start at the mouth.  Save the skin!  There's not much for gills and guts, but it's still a little bit of work.  You get 2 fillets with a small flatfish like black sole: top and bottom.  Trim off the side fins, and save them along with the skin!  The skin at the bottom can't be peeled off, so if you eat that part raw then expect it to be chewy.

After I filleted the fish, I marinated the skins and fins and also the bones and heads in soy sauce then deep fried them.  The skins and fins taste great when crispy.  I could have put them on my hand rolled sushi, but I wolfed them down quickly.  Tastes like crackers.  There's still meat on the bones, so I separated that after frying and used them for my noodles at lunch.  I gave the heads to the cats, but those and the bones taste great as a crispy fry too.  So sole tastes great raw.  So I made hand rolled sushi. Very filling.  What is it about hand rolled sushi that's so filling?  I use the same amount of rice and more stuff when I roll sushi with seaweed sheets.  Want some?  I'm going to use the bottom fillets for fish and chips.

Erin I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151013

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello beautiful Erin!  How are you, my love?  Please make sure you are taking good care of yourself, because I love you and I need you.  It's been a busy Monday for me.  I spent the morning at the Department of Motor Vehicles renewing the road tax on my motorcycle.  I got home in time to make a couple of tortillas to go with chili and eggs.  Quick lunch!  But filling.  I had to finish off the won ton skins, so after workout after voice training, I worked on those.  Stuffed won tons take a long time to make but quick to eat.  I only had 28 won tons left, so I gave 10 to my parents.  I did go to the night market today, and got some sole and soybean milk.  I don't feel like processing sole right now, but I might just do that later to get it out of the way.  Oooh, but I don't want to go to sleep smelling of fish.  Sole also makes great sushi and sashimi, and the rest of the fish makes a great crispy fry.  Hmm.  Looks like I have tomorrow morning all booked up.

Letter to Erin 20151012

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Of course I'm going to mother hen you, because you are MY girl, and I love and need you.  I'm going to do whatever I can to look after you, and since I don't have money then I will use other means to help protect you.  What I seem to have are spiritual means: if Allah be pleased with me and my work, then Allah will help me protect you and enhance your career.  And if you care about that, then you wouldn't allow yourself to be consumed by evil, and the evil of the entertainment industry.  Of course you can have fun.  What I don't want is for you to be psychologically addicted to having fun all the time, which in turn converts to being chemically addicted to having fun all the time.  Be grateful to Allah, pray, and be faithful, because with Allah as my Witness, my promise to you is true.

Right now I'm watching the biography of P. Ramlee, one of the greatest entertainers of Malaysia.  He had a successful career with both financial and critical achievements while he was alive, but he died in poverty, then received a title posthumously.  I don't think I deserve a title because I'm antisocial, and I certainly don't want one posthumously.  It be better that they worship and fear Allah, or give the title to my father because he would love that.  Nowadays the locals get very touchy if his work is criticized or becomes unavailable.  I think the error P. Ramlee made was mismanagement of his career: he was careless with his money, and too trusting of his bosses.  But what to do?  People are totally used to only one way of success in the entertainment industry.  I have a different approach, and inshaAllah it will succeed: let the people glorify and worship Allah.  My reward is with Allah.  My greatest burden artistically and spiritually is the emotions of the dead.  The most beautiful voices belonged to women who were suicidal and oppressed.  My insanity is to be consumed by that, may Allah protect and help me.

I'm going to eat my dinner now, you're welcome to join me.  It's curried potatoes, made with the fish curry from the other day.  I figured out that my curry needed more curry powder and salt, and now it tastes OK.  Want some?

Letter to Erin 20151011

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Oh hi, Erin.  How are you?  I pray that you are feeling healthy and confident.  Right now, it's almost time for sunset prayer, so I'm sitting here waiting and writing in the meanwhile.  I haven't prepared my dinner yet, but it looks like it's going to be chili.  For lunch I had stuffed won tons again.  I had the craving, you know what I mean.  I set a personal record for how many stuffed won tons I put down in one sitting: 47!  Aren't you proud of me?  I spent the evening cutting grass after workout, so I think I burned it all off.  That's why I haven't had time to make dinner yet.

Sometimes I think my Bob Cat is more muscle than brain.  He beat his own ear up because of some ear mites.  Or perhaps I didn't catch on when he wanted me to clean his ear out.  So I rubbed his ear with rubbing alcohol, then cleaned out the ear mites.  He was growling when I cleaned his ear out.  Bobby, you can growl at the ear mites as loud as you want, they're not scared of you.  And you can't beat them up without beating yourself up.  I guess it's like a reaction to gossip.

So I hope you're eating properly and getting sufficient rest now that you're super busy.  Remember that partying is work and work is partying at this level!  Treat it as work, and don't get swallowed up by the business of having fun!  Rock and Roll Queen.  Please take care of yourself since I'm not there with you.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151010

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Erin, my darling?  How are you feeling today, Sweetie?  You're such a cutie, Erin.  Even the way you throw a ball is cute.  I love you, and I need you.  Oh, I'm so moody today.  Mood swings from hell.  I was OK on my way downtown this morning to get some won ton skins, then suddenly the mood swings hit.  It's like I was Zam the puppy dog most of the time, then suddenly turning into Zam the wolf at any given moment in an instant.  At times like this, I don't want any human contact whatsoever, but today is Friday.  Ya Allah, please grant me patience and constancy!  Oh well.  Who knows what happiness is.  I feel it may only be bought in the next life.  So I'll just go back to glimpses of happiness.  Like a bowl of fresh stuffed won tons.  Want some?

I would like to add that I'm very pleased that you are not giving out reminders of your generosity when conducting recent charity work.  Sincerity only makes you more beautiful.  So beautiful that you don't need make up.  Keep up the good work, OK?

Letter to Erin 20151009

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hola, mi Corazon!  Hello, my heart!  I soory but I no el habla ze Mexicana!  How are you doing today, Erin?  Are you having a great time?  I'm just standing ground here as usual.  People like seeing Zam the wolf, but I prefer to be a puppy dog.  I hope you don't hate me for that.  How's sports season coming along?  Busy, busy no doubt.  Do you like soccer?  I suggest you get engrossed in soccer, for it would give you something sporty to do all year.  Something more global, and your bosses will love you all the more.  I suggest you choose a favorite team in the English Premier League.  Me?  I'm not a sports fan, I'm sorry.  The only sport I like is Ladies Figure Skating.  I just watched the top 3 skaters in the 2015 ISU world championship.  See how slow I am?  I do think the current skaters are trying to match the style of moves around the field of Adelina Sotnikova, which is great because it looks awesome.  Which gives us spectators something to appreciate other than those tiresome jumps.  It's beautiful.  I love beauty.  You're beautiful.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151008

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, beautiful girl!  You're so gorgeous, you don't need make up, huh?  Well, that's what I think.  You are MY girl.  Are you having fun being Sports Princess? Erin, I love you and I need you.

People get so touchy over what they eat.  It's like interest, you're never going to talk people out of the consumption of interest, especially when it means more food for them to eat.  I spent the morning working on my curry.  I used up all the mackerel to make fish curry.  I don't have a routine for curry yet, but it's getting there.  Today's effort was a bit on the tasteless side, but I'll get there.  I can't fail all the time, inshaAllah.

Letter to Erin 20151007

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I came across one of those dog meat farm videos on YouTube a couple of days ago.  I watched it aghast in horror....AAAAAAA!!!  Everyone knows I'm a cat person, but I love dogs too.  Muslims aren't allowed to eat dogs, and many of the learned and religious bureaucrats frown upon owning a dog.  There is no ban on dogs in the Qur'an, and I haven't found the specific hadith (order of the Prophet, peace be on him) that states the restriction.  Perhaps someone can enlighten me.  No, I don't want to eat dog.  I'm not even curious.  The rationale of people who eat dogs is that some dogs are for meat, and some for pets.  All animals belong to Allah, but Allah made animals subject to humans.  I consider some animals are for meat, and some are for pets.  I consider dogs to be as friends, someone to share food with, not to be food.  Someone to help protect us, and add to our awareness of the world and Allah.

But nobody could ever be friends with a mackerel.  Mackerel is for food, and no human can question that.  My Dad gave me a kilo of mackerel this morning.  My Mom said it cost RM10.  Only 4 years ago, I could frequently buy 2 kilos of mackerel for RM3.  Mackerel tastes great raw, so it makes great sushi and sashimi.  I use 95% of the fish myself, though I give the heads to the cats.  The soft roe is the best part, which I eat while gutting the fish.  I'll have to teach you how to process and fillet fish.  It's not fair that I have to do all the prep and the cooking.  Mackerel is a popular fish, not only with humans but also with other fish.  But as a species it is adapted to that, and repopulates quickly.  The price of this fish tells me that it is under pressure, also that every single fish but one had roe in it.  When mackerel was cheap, it was not easy to find soft roe.  However, I can still find mackerel for sale every day no matter what the price is, not like snapper.  So I made hand rolled sushi for dinner.  Hey, this rice isn't sticky at all!  I couldn't make rice balls.  This rice is Basmati rice, from India I suppose.  I also suppose Indians don't eat hand rolled sushi.  So I added some corn starch (I didn't have any rice flour) to the rice, and that made it sticky enough to roll.  Next time, I'll use seaweed sheets, or buy local rice.  I don't eat vinegared rice because it gives me heartburn, but otherwise it's pretty good and very filling.  You want some?  I love you, and I need you.
 

Letter to Erin 20151006

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin!  Hi Sweetie!  How are you feeling today?  I pray that you are feeling healthy and confident.  It's business as usual for me today.  I had to go downtown in the morning to get the new prayer schedule.  Prayer times I'm sure you know, are dawn, afternoon, early evening, sunset, and night.  But they have it all calculated accurately to the times nowadays, that I can just look at the schedule and see that the night prayer is 8:19 pm today.  The Muslim calendar is a true lunar calendar, so the full moon is always on the 14th.  The new year begins next Wednesday.  Year 1437.

I killed all my guppies yesterday.  I keep telling myself, "Don't wash the thing with soap!" and what do I do?  I washed the thing with soap.  That's why I hate house cleaning.  I kill innocent fish, that do me no harm.  They don't pee at my bathroom door.  Poor fish.  So I took 9 baby guppies from my Dad's fish pond.  He seems to have an endless supply of guppies.  They seem to be doing OK.  They all are basically the same size, about a couple of grains of rice or less each.  So I put 4 pellets of fish food in the jar, about the size of a mustard seed each.  They get bigger after soaking in water.  But the bigger fish chase away the little fish from the food.  And I'm watching them right now.  There they go, so bigger than a couple grains of rice, circling the food, making sure no one else gets it.

I don't know what it means!  I'm a guppy killer!  Maybe I do know what it means, and I'm not telling.  I hope you are doing great.  Take care of yourself, Sweetie.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151005

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Erin.  How's it going today?  I pray you are doing great.  It's kind of a surreal day here for me.  I've been busy all day like I usually am on Sundays, but it's a very hazy day.  It started last night with the dreams I had.  Wow, I wish I could record video of my dreams.  It was incredible, so awesome that I don't want to tell the world about it.  What a great movie, though.  Glory to Allah.  I think I'll write about it in music.  But I managed to stay active all day.  I cut the grass at the side of the road all the way from your house inshaAllah to my parents' house, on both sides of the road.  Wow.  I'm still seeing that dream.  Incredible.

I was making dough just now, and the cats were going berserk!  Well you're the girl I want to marry, Erin.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151004

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I forgot to mention that I will place a water tank on the roof of your house inshaAllah, where the water goes up to fill the tank before going to the faucets in the house.  Kind of like a giant toilet tank.  You never know when we might need emergency water.

I'm kind of tired today.  I had been getting up in the wee hours lately to conduct extra worship, and it's caught up with me.  I occasionally do that.  So please excuse me, I'm going to go be catatonic for the rest of the night.  I pray you are doing well and taking care of yourself in my absence, because I love you and I need you.

Letter to Erin 20151003

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Happy 2nd anniversary, Sweetie!  I love you, Erin.  I want to marry you.  And I need you.  I'll have to admit that I stopped working on these house plans when I figured out that you have your own house plan.  But if you don't have any house plan when the time comes inshaAllah, I'll go ahead and use these. 

1.  I didn't write the measurements down because this is just a simple view of what I had planned, besides I will need to re-measure everything professionally before construction. 

2.  Right now there are trees bordering the property of your house inshaAllah, but I intend to remove them all and build a wall.  It would help slow snakes down, and block out debris from floods. 

3.  I didn't label the west facade correctly: it's actually the north facade.

4.  You have a nice and big walk in closet and bathroom.  All yours!  I'll just use the other restrooms.  I made a mistake with placing the toilets: none of the toilets must face west (or towards Mecca).  Instructions of the Prophet (peace be on him).

5.  The trees aren't scaled correctly.  The south facade actually faces a whole lot of banana trees, which I intend to clear.  They don't taste very good, and I want to keep that area open.

6.  Your house is actually an upgraded version of my little house.  My little house is actually smaller by about 30% than what you see in this plan.  I had to make it bigger so I could play Sims 3 more comfortably.  I plan to use my little house as an office/studio, plus it will be my doghouse whenever you're mad at me.

7.  No. we're not situated on a hill overlooking the sea.  We have neighbors on the north, south, and west.  My parents are my north neighbor, and my younger brother lives with them.

8.  I didn't decorate the walls of the house.  Just to remind you, a Muslim house must not have statues and human effigies (like posters of celebrities) in it.  Please unload such items before we marry, if you have them.  Photos of your friends and relatives are OK.

9.  The main entrance/driveway is on the east, and it connects to a small road leading to an elementary school located north.

10.  There is a laundry room on the ground floor.  Sims 3 doesn't have washers and dryers, so the laundry room may not be obvious.  Options for clothes dryers are poor in this country, so be prepared to dry your clothes on a line.  Oh, I can do my own laundry.  It may not please you how I do laundry, but I will do my own laundry.

11.  I put big showroom style windows on the first floor overlooking the yard on the south.  I plan to have metal shutters on these windows like you would see on businesses, to close when we leave for vacation for instance.

12.  Please expect the presence of cats!  Mouse control!  My cats are expert mousers, so you must be nice to them.

Erin, please make a donation to a worthwhile charity of a minimum of one US dollar.

Letter to Erin 20151002

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I saw your interview on Google at the Global Citizen Festival 2015, and I want you to know that I think you are so beautiful, and I love you so much.  And I need you.  I hope you have figured out now the connection between the mind and the stomach: a stressed out mind creates a stressed out stomach.  But it's also vice versa, that's why comfort foods exist.  Preparing your own food has the advantage that you eat exactly what you want and you know exactly what's in your food.  Don't let yourself be pressured into eating foods you don't want to eat.  Your sensitive tummy, and your being my girl mashaAllah, is what makes you a powerful endorser of food products.

My Mom gave me a bag of dried salted anchovies the other day, so I decided to fry them up to a crispy fry, then keep them in the cooler.  I noticed there was a lot of shake at the bottom of the bag, and it could only be pure anchovy, with some salt.  So I spent the entire morning making anchovy bouillon.  I put all the shake in the spice grinder, and pulverized it into a fine powder.  There was a little moisture from being in the cooler, so I was able to knead it like dough.  So I shaped it in to balls, and used it for my noodle broth for lunch.  I kept the leftover oil from frying the anchovies, because it tasted very light.  So I fried up some chopped garlic and mustard green stems in the anchovy oil.  Then I added chopped cilantro, mustard green leaves, and fish balls into the broth of a single home made anchovy bouillon ball.  Needed a little salt, but it tasted great.  Alhamdulillah.  It didn't taste fishy at all.  Rather, it tasted milky.  It must have been the chopped mustard green stems.