Letter to Julia 20140731

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

There is a feedback loop going on in my cooler.  At the same time, my cooler is a dead end for food.  My cooler is like one of those fractal deep zooms, but not as pretty.  I live alone with my cats, so if I don't eat it, and the cats don't eat it, then it goes into the trash.  Perhaps I could give it away, but that's easier said than done, especially since I already give away much food in the form of raw foods.  I don't have many friends.  And I accumulated a lot of food over Ramadan.

My cooler isn't very big, about 3/4 or less the size of a typical one door cooler you would find in a modern home.  So what's in the cooler?  Let's see: steak, chicken breast, a snapper head, 3 chicken ribs, 2 containers of sambal udang (prawns in a hot pepper sauce), rendang (beef in spicy coconut and lemongrass sauce), snapper roe, burgers, butter, coconut milk, pastry dough, sliced cheese, fried anchovies, chocolate chips, bamboo shoots, tamarind, 2 containers of mole sauce, sardine dip, soybean milk, chrysanthemum tea, rose tea, 3 big bottles of water, 2 containers of Mom's sweet pickle, ginger, turmeric, hot peppers, oyster mushrooms, yeast, sourdough starter, 2 containers of salted fish, leftover shepherd's pie, 2 eggs, a bottle of Worcestershire sauce, a bottle of dipping sauce for fish crackers, home made mayo... is that it?  Oh yeah... a kilo of sugar,  5 kilos of rice, and 2 kilos of Atta flour which I have to keep in the cooler because the bugs have figured out how to get through the packaging.  I'm sure I missed some items.

So I had to stop accepting food, and start eating all the food in the cooler, or it would go to waste.  So for dinner just now, I made a stew of most of the bamboo shoots with garlic, onions, seaweed, mushrooms in anchovy broth.  I put the snapper head in there, and let it simmer.  Then I took the fish head out, and added ramen noodles and chopped hot peppers.  I dismantled the fish head and removed the flesh.  The stuff behind the eyes is awesomely tasty.  I put the stew in a large bowl, then sprinkled the fish meat on top.  Oh no!  I made too much food!  I have leftovers!

You must join me regularly for eating.  Please?  I love you, I love you!  And I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20140731

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

23.  God cannot be questioned for God's acts, but they will be questioned.

24.  Or have they taken for worship gods besides God?  Say, "Bring your convincing proof.  This is a Message of those with me and the Message of those before me."  But most of them know not the truth, and so turn away.

The Prophets  21:23-24
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Bring your convincing proof.  This is a Message of those with me and the Message of those before me.

Letter to Julia 20140729

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

You know, I'm quite used to being lonely.  It could be that I'm just a loner, but like anything else you get used to it, whether you like it or not.  God has been my only friend on countless occasions.  I've had glimpses of happiness like most people, but I don't know what happiness is.  Plus, I have to work everyday.  So I don't share the same attachment others have to public holidays.  And the Eid, for that matter.  I love Ramadan, but I'm not very sentimental about the Eid.  And Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

I don't think it's the same with you.  You need your friends and your social circles, while I am promising you a family you can call your own, you will have to be the main power in making the Eid a sentimental occasion for our family.  It's not like you will have to abandon your friends, I'm just saying that I don't have many friends.  You could probably make new friends, however difficult that may be to find sincere ones while living in the public eye, being as beautiful as you are.  I'm trying to point out how helpful it is to each other, to have both Julia and Erin as my wives.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20140730

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

1.  Closer and closer to humans comes their reckoning, yet they heed not, and turn away.

2.  Never comes to them of a renewed Message from their Lord, but they listen to it as a joke.

3.  Their hearts toying as with trifles.  The wrongdoers conceal their private counsels: "Is this more than a man like yourselves?  Will you go to witchcraft with your eyes open?"

4.  Say, "My Lord knows every word in the heavens and the earth.  God is the One that Hears and Knows."

The Prophets  21:1-4
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My Lord knows every word in the heavens and the earth.  God is the One that Hears and Knows.

Qur'an 20140729

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

133.  They say, "Why does he not bring us a Sign from his Lord?"  Has not a Clear Sign come to them of all that was in the former Books of Revelation?

134.  And if We had inflicted on them a penalty before this, they would have said, "Our Lord!  If only You had sent us a messenger, we should certainly have followed Your Signs before we were humbled, and put to shame."

135.  Say, "Each one is waiting.  Wait you therefore, and soon shall you know who it is that is on the straight and even way, and who it is that has received guidance."

Ta Ha  20:133-135
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Each one is waiting.  Wait you therefore, and soon shall you know who it is that is on the straight and even way, and who it is that has received guidance.

Letter to Julia 20140726

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there Julia, my beautiful and dignified queen.  How are you feeling today?  And how about you Erin, my gorgeous, beloved sweetheart?  How are those dreams coming along?  I love you both with all my heart.  I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you.  It's Friday night, and it's raining.  This year's Ramadan started out wet, and it looks like it's going to end wet.  The Eid should be on Monday approximately.  They're supposed to spot the new moon before officially ending the fasting month.  I don't think the Internet cafe is open during the Eid, and even if it were, I will be busy, so it looks like I won't be able to blog again until at least Wednesday, inshaAllah.  Please forgive me.  I personally prefer Ramadan over the Eid, but whatever the case, please try to celebrate.  And think of me if you can, of our marriage, and that I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Meanwhile, study the Qur'an.  But take it slowly, and observe how your environment reflects in your reading.  Don't be like the woman who consults a fortune teller, desiring as much information as possible.  The human mind can only swallow a little at a time of the Work of God, and we ignore so much.  Be patient, pray, and do good deeds.

Letter to Julia 20140724

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

How are you feeling today, my dearest wives?  My my, Ramadan sure went by quickly.  Ramadan is always busy busy for me.  It's almost 11 pm, and after I write this letter, I have to get to sleep, so I will be able to wake up at 3 am to cook my predawn meal.  For predawn meal, it's going to be fried flat noodles with cockles and bean sprouts, a classic Perlis dish.  It's been months sine I last made that, and now I have the craving.  You're more than welcome to join me.  I'm sure I will have plenty left.  I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you.

I suppose I need to give a quick primer on how to jazz up rice gruel.  Rice gruel is basically a soup, so to amplify the flavor, one must add another soup to it.  If you do it right, you get a super soup as thick as shark fin soup.  For example, today I made beef and bamboo shoot stew to add to rice gruel.  I quick fried a burger, took it out, then sauteed garlic, onions, bamboo shoots, and chopped cilantro stems until brown.  Add water and bring it to a boil, and half a cube of beef bouillon with a little bit of tamarind juice.  Stir then reduce the heat to a simmer, then dump in cold, solidified gruel in the middle, then put the lid on.  Don't mix.  I usually take a shower at this point, as it would be about half an hour away from breaking fast.  By the time I break fast with dates then pray the sunset prayer, the soup is ready to eat.  I add in oyster mushrooms, turn off the heat, then julienne my cilantro leaves, Chinese cabbage, and dice up the burger.  Put the soup in an extra large bowl, make sure you scrape out all the delicious goo stuck to the bottom, then sprinkle the beef, cilantro, and cabbage on top.  Eat.  Tomorrow, it's going to be a spicy sardine soup/gruel.  InshaAllah.

Qur'an 20140724

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

105.  They ask you concerning the mountains.  Say, "My Lord will uproot them, and scatter them as dust."

106.  God will leave them as plains, smooth and level.

107.  Nothing crooked and curved will you see in their place.

Ta Ha  20:105-107
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My Lord will uproot them, and scatter them as dust.

Letter to Julia 20140722

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Happy 5th anniversary, my dearest Julia.  You are my love, and here I am to reaffirm that I want to marry you.  I am in anguish, as I still don't have at least a ring for you yet, but I have my faith, that Allah will provide me the means soon, to give you a ring, a house, and a happy and secure married life.  Because I love you, and I need you.

So please allow me to repeat the plan.  Of top priority is to have the land that the little house I live in now, and the adjacent land that my grandfather's old house stands be transferred to my name and legal possession.  Anything else puts us and the music in danger of eviction, no matter how good the intentions are.  When that happens inshaAllah, I will announce the good news to you, then prepare this little house for you to live in.  Then I will send someone to get you, and we shall marry, and live in this little house while we supervise the building of your Casa de Julia.  When your house is finished, then I will marry Erin.  Then we will spend the rest of our lives together inshaAllah, in your house.

It sounds like a simple miracle.  That's why we must pray, be patient, and keep our faith and trust in Allah.  Our marriage is sacred, make no mistake.

Letter to Julia 20140721

 In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

"From Allah is our origin, and to Allah is our return."

There has been so much excitement this Ramadan, but somehow I still feel the same as I have been for the past 2 or 3 decades.  What's so new and dramatic to others is business as usual to me.  Yeah, all these weird happenings and secret agendas is business as usual to me.  No wonder I want to be like a tree, and take root and not go anywhere anymore.  I guess I'm just an old man.  My feet hurt, tonight for breaking fast is leftover gruel, and I still don't have my sweeties.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Julia, my slick beauty, I love you so much.  You are so very beautiful, and beautiful to me.  Are you trying to slow down, my dearest?  All this business must be thrilling to you, but please take some time to be lazy.  Maybe watch some TV, and maybe snack on some sliced jicama dipped in sweet bean paste.  On Shadowplay TV right now is Fireball XL5: Faster Than Light.  I love you, and I need you.

And how are you doing Erin, you dreamer girl?  What is going on in that brain of yours?  And what are you dreaming of, by the way?  Of course I dream of you.  I dream of how sweet and beautiful you are.  So please don't be blue, because I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140719

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Oh, it's been so busy!  My legs are tired, and there's still a lot to do.  I want to make sure the grass is nice and short for the Eid, from my parents' house to Casa de Julia inshaAllah.  Yes, the fasting month is almost over, and it's been an interesting one.  Don't you agree?  Have you been good girls?  Please be good women that the world can emulate, and be proud of.  Beautiful and honorable inside as well as outside.

I just made up a batch of sardine dip.  That stuff has more uses than just for dipping bread.  It makes a great soup base for noodles and rice gruel, plus it makes a great pizza sauce.  I made a pizza for the predawn meal yesterday.  I'm starting to like pizza with less cheese more and more.  It's probably because there isn't any good cheese around here.  If Allah grants me wealth, I will to start up a cheese collection.  I have some dough and ranch dressing to use up, so for tomorrow morning it's going to be sardine rolls, or maybe deep fried calzones.  I need to cut down on my portion sizes.  It's fasting month, and I'm going to get bloated.  How embarrassing.  If you would join me, you could help me eat some of this food.  I would love to have you.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140716

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Yay!  Julia's team won!  WOO HOO!!!  Go team!  I love Julia.  She's so beautiful, and sexy.  So are you, Erin.  You are my wives, and I love you, I love you with all my heart.  And I need you, I need you.

I have some homework for you, Erin.  It will help pass the time until our wedding.  Please don't be melancholy, I'm not going to abandon either one of you, inshaAllah.  So please pray, and ask Allah to grant me wealth enough soon so I can give you a happy and secure married life.  Please understand that I must think of your well-being, so be patient.

Anyway, I want you to watch the Japanese version of Sailor Moon.  There are 5 seasons and 200 episodes of Sailor Moon, and I want you to watch them in sequence, but in this sequence: the first season first (also known as Sailor Moon), then the 3rd season (SMS), the 4th season (SMSS), the 5th season (SailorStars), and the 2nd season (SMR) last if you feel like it.  No, I'm not going to quiz you.  Sailor Moon is very surreal, and if you've already watched the entire series, then Erin is as psychic as me.  2 things you should remember: first, the comic book is different than the cartoon, but watch the cartoon first.  Second, ChibiUsa is a pagan.  Here, I posted the first episode for your convenience.  Take your time, don't rush.  If you can't find an episode, wait until you find it before you move on.  It will be inevitable that you will have the entire Sailor Moon community follow you around.  Julia, you can watch Sailor Moon too if you have the time.  Somehow I feel that you are going to be busier than ever.  Try to slow down, OK?

Letter to Julia 20140714

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Wow... that home made mayo sure tastes good.  SubhanAllah!  It has the taste, texture, and appearance of cream cheese.  But it's not cream cheese, it's mayo.  Some people might guzzle the stuff in copious amounts because it's exactly like cream cheese, that they hurt their tummy.  Ahem.  But you've got to try some.  Fancy a steak and cheese sandwich?  Made with love for my Julia and Erin.  You are my beautiful and beloved wives.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.  I think I'll add more grease next time to make it mayoier.  Or is that more mayoer?

Actually, this morning's meal is sliced chicken breast sandwiches.  That home made mayo is pretty strong even though it tastes light, so go easy with it!  Chicken breast is best cooked evenly at low temperatures, so immersing them in something is the way to go.  I didn't have any sauces of any kind to immerse the chicken breast, so I just cooked it in butter in a covered pot.  Still slightly stringy, but not bad.  Cheese is not necessary for chicken sandwiches!  Just bread, mayo, pepper, onions and chicken.  The bread is soft today.  Would you care to join me?

Letter to Julia 20140712

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

It's the full moon already!  Ramadan is so busy for me.  I bust my butt from 3 am to 11 pm everyday.  But don't worry, I sleep in after dawn and often wake up late.  But it's not the sleeping hours nor the fasting that get to me: it's all the standing around I do.  I cook up a storm during Ramadan.  Plus, I still have to tend the yard.  Have you been fasting?  Good girls!  Oh, you've been dieting.  Well, please don't hide your Islam.  Your Islam will only make you more powerful, if it is sincere.  InshaAllah.  The Qur'an is not to distress you, but to admonish the faithful.

Erin, I hope you're not too uncomfortable being involuntarily immersed in international top fashion model politics.  Julia's used to it, in fact I think she enjoys it, but you're just too nice.  Maybe you're afraid of losing your friends, but then your true friends will never abandon you.  It's just part of being Mrs. Global.  And that's the key word: MRS.  Remember what I told you, if the crowd bugs you then say to them, "I'm his wife, inshaAllah", then send them my way.  I will refer them to Allah.  But really, I didn't do anything.  Allah does it all.  Julia and Erin, I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140710

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hey Julia darling, isn't it supposed to be football season?  Sorry I'm missing the action, but I'm not much of a sports fan.  I only like ladies figure skating.  But I'm on Julia's side!  So is Erin!  Right, Erin darling?  Go team!  WOO HOO!!!  Who's winning?  Isn't supposed to be Brazil versus Germany?  It almost sounds like Victoria's Secret politics.  One can get confused though, with names like Bundchen and Zimmermann.  I'm on Julia's side!  So is Erin!  Right, Erin darling?  Go team!  WOO HOO!!!

I got tired of playing the mayonnaise game with people, so I started making my own.  Mayo is just equal parts egg whites and grease, plus salt.  Separating the egg whites is the tedious part.  Who knows which way the shell will crack, which influences the ease of juggling the yolk.  The grease of choice in Malaysia is palm oil.  My mayo came out fluffy and light, so it makes me think that the others use more grease than egg whites.  So my ranch dressing turned out awesome, but now I'm out of mayo.  Would you like a salad, Julia and Erin dearest?  How about a pizza?  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140708

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi again, my gorgeous and beloved wives.  Slick and sexy Julia, I adore your intensity.  Sweet and sensitive Erin, I adore your pure heart.  Of course I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you.  How could I not?  You are the most beautiful girls in the world.  That's because you are MY girls.  MINE, MINE.

I've been doing so much cooking this Ramadan, and that's what's eating up most of my time.  Prepping more than cooking and eating.  Prepping seafood is very tedious.  Then portioning, marinading, and freezing meats.  Cooking is much cheaper than eating out: I eat what I feel like eating, it's better for my tummy, and I get larger portions.  But I've had some failures.  This year, crab has been bad for me.  I can't find king crab here, and anything else is too large for crispy fry, too small for anything else, and too expensive.  I found some small blue crab at the main market, but it was still too big.  The guy selling it again refused to take my money, and when I asked for something smaller, he laughed at me.  But it was too big.  I couldn't get it to crisp up properly, and it hurt my tummy.  And the sauce was too strong.  My experiment failed.  Sigh.  I warn you now my darling wives, that I like to experiment with food.  It makes life interesting.  But we can bag the experimentation if you want, and go to McDonald's.  They just opened one up here.  Fancy some rice gruel with chicken for RM3?  Betcha you can't find that at a US McDonald's.

Qur'an 20140708

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

74.  But how many generations before them have We destroyed, who were even better in equipment and in glitter to the eye?

75.  Say, "If any man go astray, the Most Gracious extends to them until, when they see the warning of Allah- either in punishment or in the Hour- they will at length realize who is worst in position, and weakest in forces."

Mary 19:74-75
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If any man go astray, the Most Gracious extends to them until, when they see the warning of Allah- either in punishment or in the Hour- they will at length realize who is worst in position, and weakest in forces.

Letter to Julia 20140707

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, my dearest Julia and Erin.  How are the most beautiful women in the world today?  Have you been fasting?  Today, I woke up at 3am to start preparing my predawn meal.  I've been spending most of my nights cooking.  This morning is steak and potatoes- rather basic, huh?  Anyway, as I was sipping my coffee, a flying bug bumped into me, rather an odd looking bug, different than the usual pests that swarm around the light above my stove top.  Then more and more bugs joined in, so I switched on the light in the living room t distract the bugs, and I started to cook in the dark.  When a huge swarm built up at the light, I realized that they were bees.  At 3am!  So I turned on the light in the cage where I've been keeping Chee Cheah, and turned off the living room light.  I've had to put a restrictive collar on poor little Chee Cheah because she kept on gnawing at herself, then keep her in the cage where I used to store my motorcycle.  I let the cat loose so the bees wouldn't sting her.  When bees swarm aimlessly like that, it usually means the Queen is dead.  I felt sorry for the little things, when they started dying off.  I figured the bees would leave when daylight came, but I forgot to open the door to the cage, so I got stung on the head for being stupid.

Letter to Julia 20140705

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my gorgeous and most beautiful wives!  How are you feeling today?  How are those precious emotions?  How's life at the top?  What's it like to be number one?  By the Will of Allah.  We really need to be together, all the time, so we will be as one.  You are MINE, MINE and that makes you number one with me.  You are my Rock and Roll Babes!!!  I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you.

Oh, I've been so busy, busy.  Ramadan is a busy, busy month for me, and it will be for us when we are married inshaAllah.  I've been spending most of my nights awake, cooking up a storm.  For predawn tomorrow, it's going to be deep fried calzones stuffed with curried potatoes, ground beef, onions, garlic, and chives.  Curry puffs if you will, depending on your perspective.  Would you care to join me, my precious dahlinks?

This next video is for you Erin, you cute thing you.  It's not very romantic, but it's something you should watch.  Dorothy Stratten was born on February 28.  Just like me and Karolina Kurkova!  You're such a sweetheart, Erin.  I guess the moral of the story is that some people just don't deserve to be treated nicely, even if you feel sorry for them.  Just call the cops.  Julia's a gorgeous and savvy business mogul, and she wouldn't have anything to do with such a sleazeball like I-forget-his-name, but Erin can be too nice sometimes to people who don't deserve it.  When I'm with you inshaAllah I would help protect you, but until then please stay away from such people.  And always remember that Allah is the Best to Protect.  Evil will not get away with evil.  Their time will come.

Letter to Julia 20140702

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my dearest darling wives.  You are so beautiful to me.  I want you to know that I care for you deeply, and that I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you.  It's been a cold Ramadan so far.  Right on the first day, the temperature suddenly dropped, while the day before was blistering hot.  It's starting to warm up slightly.  Maybe it's going to rain again.

I bought a red snapper over at the Tuesday market today.  Red snapper meat makes the best sushi: it's silvery transparent, and the flavor is transparent too.  The fish I bought had soft roe and liver too, so I was excited to have a midnight snack.  But bleah!  It was awful!  Such an expensive fish, too.  How can a such a great tasting fish have such ghastly roe and liver?  I had to spit it into the sink, and gargle out the bad taste.  What a waste of melted butter.  Mackerel roe and liver tastes much better.  But I'm saving the snapper head for stew.  Well, it's sushi for the predawn meal.  Red snapper with omelet, spring onions and crispy-fried snapper skin.  Would you like to join me?

Do you believe in my mission to please Allah with music?  Then it should be plain as day to you the international business that is my mission.  So like Mary in childbirth, I have to shake the palm tree a little.  Ya Allah, please grant the following: I need to be firmly established in this land.  Therefore, I need to be married to Julia and Erin and thus sustain my wives and family, so I need the land I live on and the adjacent land where my grandfather's old house stands to build a new house to suit Julia, a car and a truck, and sufficient income to sustain the marriages.  I need musical and computer equipment.  I need to perform my Hajj safely.  Of course, everyone wants what I need.  Did Allah grant them the knowledge to deserve as such?  Did Allah put them through the experience to deserve as such?  Glory to Allah.  Do the people want Allah to shake their tree?

There was an enormous tower somewhere which housed the music business, and attracted singers and musicians from all over the world, and I was one of them not too long ago.  It was a gigantic structure made of steel, concrete and glass, and even the furniture was made of steel. concrete and glass.  It described itself as a school, so for the purposes of this narrative we shall call it "The School."  The School taught aspiring singers and musicians how to throw away their inspiration, and make music The School's way.  I never took any classes.  On The School's grounds, there was constant brutality and murder.  There was an elevator in The School which when entered, a person's musical instruments would mysteriously disappear.  I lost my guitar in that elevator.  Apparently there is a secret door where you enter into a room with armed guards, and you had to beat them to near death to get any further.  The School held regular talent shows which were very big and glitzy, but the audience was an audience of contestants and their families.  The only genuine audience was me, standing at the doorway.  A former teacher at The School showed me how to stop the elevator to open the secret door, is by pushing both the up and down buttons at the same time.  But when I entered, after defeating the guard by hammering them with a big spoon, I found that all the musical instruments had been hocked to pay off The School's loans and bills.  All that was left was a cheap Japanese fretless bass which no one wanted.  Eventually The School couldn't turn a profit, and was demolished.  I searched the rubble for anything to scavenge, but all I could find was Chee Cheah, my cat.  But The School hasn't disappeared.  There is a bigger and more sinister connection: its financial backers.