Letter to Julia 20121201

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Whoops!  I had to take Bat Cat back to the vet because he kept getting the runs, and was becoming so dehydrated that his eyes have sunk in.  Poor little Batty Watty!  So I couldn't blog my love for you Thursday, but I posted the letter today so you can read it if you want.  Please forgive me?  I love you!

I meant what I said a some time ago about your coming on stage with me when I perform public concerts, insyaAllah.  This is because I would rather they look at you instead of me.  This is because my voice doesn't match my body, and I'm sure the people would want to believe that you are doing the singing instead of me, because you are beautiful.  Plus my voice is very sensitive to motion, so I can't do a lot of dancing and jumping around.  Essentially it's another modeling job, because your microphone wouldn't be plugged in, but you would be lip syncing (to the best of your ability, of course), while wearing pretty clothes and pointing at the crowd.  Oh don't worry, I'll be on stage with you, but you would be in the spotlight, while I'll be lit by an oil lamp or something, while sitting on a recliner (or better yet, a massage chair) watching Shadowplay TV.  OK OK, a bar stool.  I'm sure having to change outfits all the time would be stressful, so we could even probably hire a few of your half-naked friends.  They can't be half-naked at the show, though: this is an Islamic situation.  How do they live daily lives, going around half-naked like that?  Don't they get embarrassed when they go grocery shopping?  Wouldn't those wings push cans and boxes off the shelves?  I'm sure you don't do that, and that you are modest.  Because you are MY girl.

Don't you and your bosses forget that the locals here have little to no interest in dressing chic, so any fashion business should be focused on the visitor, and that the situation is Muslim.  The attraction and mass media is global however, and the location is East meets West.  The center of attraction should be a closed environment like a building,  a concert hall/mall (perhaps Dewan 2020) where both business and audience can be controlled, and where businesses can range from apparel to hospitality.  It is ludicrous to gig daily in such a situation: once or twice a week should be more than enough, and the concerts should be marketed as part of a vacation package.  On the other days, I should just stay at home and voice train, and make love to my sweetie.  I may joke a little to make you smile, but please take my inspiration and ideas regarding this matter seriously as well as our well-being, because my time on earth is short, and I am already old.

Certainly there is much secret plotting and planning going on, considering the scale of events that have occurred.  Allah has been my only friend anyway throughout the years, so I put my trust in Allah, to keep the evil ones in check by some complex disaster that will strike them from a direction they did not perceive at a time when they are unaware, like when they taunt God for not punishing them for their words.  This is because Allah is always with them.  And Allah is always with us, my love.  So please pray with me that Allah will bring us together in happiness, success and security soon.

Letter to Julia 20121129

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my beloved Julia.  And how are you feeling today?  I pray you are feeling healthy and confident.  I'm sorry for being so businesslike yesterday.  I do love you so, my precious Julia, and I want you to feel loved at all times, for you are MY girl, and I cherish you so.  But yeah, this is a family business, so it's just as important that you understand my work as it is for me to aid your work, as it is ours.  Music can be an uncontrollable monster.  Do you remember the Beatles?  Ya Allah, please help and protect Julia and I, and our family business.

Letter to Julia 20121128

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my beautiful young Julia.  How are you feeling today?  I'm suddenly tired for some reason, I had to take a nap before I could write this letter.  It's been raining everyday, so the weather is nice and cool.  I just finished the backup vocals for "Dragonfly", and am about to mix them down.  They're not perfect, but I could always computerize them, or if that fails, I'll just do them again.  But making music with a computer is much easier than it was 15 years ago, when all I had was a 4 track cassette recorder.  Oh, yuck!  I don't know if you are familiar with the technology, but it doesn't matter,  Those days are over, thank God!

In case you didn't know, long ago cassette tapes were common before the advent of compact discs, which was before hard drives, which was before flash memory.  It's hard to say that optical drives are better than hard drives are better than flash memory, but all of the above are better than cassette tapes.  Generally when you listen to music, you are aware of 2 tracks: the left and the right, for your left ear and your right ear.  A 4 track allows one to add maybe another voice or a guitar to those left and right tracks, and you could put those new tracks on the left, or the right, or the middle, or in between.  Of course, you could start from scratch and record guitar, bass, drums, and vocals, and arrange their position relative to your 2 ears.  Back when, the big record companies had 48 track machines in their studios, and they used 2 inch reel to reel tapes.  Which obviously made time in the studio very expensive, added to the many more walls available in a studio as opposed to a bedroom.  Therefore the cost of making and selling recorded music is what drove many a musician into slavery.  Of course this cost is offset by sales and royalties from public performances (radio, TV, etc.) but few artistes are able to garner and maintain mass exposure.

The inventors of computers didn't know they were creating a monster, but they did, and their work was and is rapidly compounded by others.  So really, God is the One who created the monster, which currently resides on your cell phone, which could probably be configured as a recording studio.  This new technology quickly made the old ways obsolete, and now anyone with a cell phone can be a radio or TV producer.  Down with the oppressive media moguls.  Truly the Grace of God is for only God to administer to whomever God wills, and is out of reach from the willpower of humans.

Letter to Julia 20121127

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Julia, my beautiful and precious love.  It's almost the end of the year, huh?  How time flies, and it's coming to the 4th year since I first proposed to you.  I don't remember exactly when, you probably know better than me exactly when, I think it was sometime after February 2009.  Well, I'm still game, because I mean it, Julia.  I love you, and I want to marry you.  I have chosen you for my wife, and I am committed to our marriage.

And I have been waiting all these years for Allah to grant me the means to marry you.  I want to give you a good married life, and not my poverty, that is why I wait.  I believe Allah will bring us together InsyaAllah, so please pray with me.

I'm not a priest Julia, I'm just an ordinary person trying to be faithful, to God and to you.  There is no priesthood in Islam: the imams you see are generally elected officials.  God didn't create the priesthood and monasticism: humans did.  But there are certainly some sincere servants of God among the many priests.

Letter to Julia 20121126

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello my beautiful young Julia.  How are you feeling today?  I pray you are healthy and happy.  I just had steak and fried rice, which was really rich and filling.  Are you hungry?  Do you want some?  Perhaps you would join me for dinner sometime.

Oh, I'm so lazy, Julia.  I just want to laze around all day, and snuggle with you.  You are so beautiful, my love.  I have completely lost my desire to tour, like a normal singer would do.  Perhaps they should build an airport here at the kampung, so I can gig at the airport.  I'm a disgrace to the word "rock star".  I don't want to tour, I don't want to be photographed or do interviews, I don't like parties, I don't smoke, drink or do drugs, I don't have any tattoos, I don't want to slut around, I don't want to worship the devil... everybody else in my business is such a conservative fuddy-duddy.  I am the rebel.

Letter to Julia 20121124

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Julia, my beloved!  How is the most beautiful girl in the world feeling today?  Yes, you are the most beautiful girl in the world to me.  I pray you are feeling healthy and confident, and you are slowing down.

Everyone's a reporter nowadays, don't you agree?  Maybe someone took a snapshot of some celebrity with their cell phone while pretending to dial a number, then posted it on their Facebook page with a little report on the circumstance.  It is annoying, but there's the crowd for you.  On the plus side, it makes them more current and exclusive than the media corporations.  It sort of makes those large media groups redundant, going to the point of unnecessary and archaic.  Slow moving dinosaurs!  My excuse is that I'm too lazy to conform to the vile expectations of the entertainment business.  I've never had much love for the press, especially the big clunkers.  The press has less foresight than politicians.  They think they can intimidate me with irrelevant headlines.  Guess what?  I put MY fear in Allah!  They can't grasp that?  It's not my fault that they have no faith.  Let them publish a report on something as redundant as themselves, like K-pop and the Billboard charts.

I have decided not to grant anyone an interview except for publications (not reporters) that have interviewed Shadowplay before, back when we were a 3 piece band consisting of Andre, Terry and me in Salt Lake City 1995.  Maybe I might place a few ads here and there, if it's not a waste of money.  And these love letters to my sweetie Julia are the closest thing everyone is going to get to an autobiography.  They're going to publish lies anyway, so why even bother.  I put my trust in Allah.

Letter to Julia 20121122

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hey Julia, my love.  Assalamu'alaikum.  How's it going today?  I pray you are healthy and confident, for I love you.  Sigh.  I apologize if it seems that I leave a trail of destruction in my wake.  But it's not really me, I'm just a servant.  I can't raise the dead, I can't distort time and the weather, I can't bend probabilities.  Allah is the One who does that.  Perhaps Allah has granted me a little bit of strength to go with this chimp-like body, but strength will fade like beauty.  Whatever strength I have, I will use to look after you and our loved ones.  InsyaAllah.

Again, if you are in a hurry to be married to me, please know that this little house needs at least a bathroom for you, the doorways need to be made taller, and we could probably convert the living room into a bedroom.  And regardless of how much money we have, you will have to put up with this little house for a little time, while we work out legal and land issues.  I believe it best to be patient, and wait until Allah grants me my own wealth so I can help contribute financially to our family.  Please pray that it be soon, and that my loneliness doesn't cause a massive disaster in the meantime.

Letter to Julia 20121121

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there Julia, my beloved young wife.  InsyaAllah.  How are you feeling today?  I hope you are pacing yourself, and trying to slow down.  Yesterday, I took Bat Cat to the vet for a deworming shot, then I had lunch with my parents.  For dinner, I slow grilled a fish.  It was a torpedo scad, which is perfect for grilling because of the thick skin.  It wasn't one of those monster sized fish, but this one weighed in at about .6 kilo, so I am quite full right now.  I sauteed the liver and roe in the butter I used for basting and dipping.  Oh yeah.  I like fish roe that is undeveloped, where the eggs cannot be separated, a creamy texture if you will.  Tasted creamy, too.

I have to admit that I am wary of our business being so dominant in our marriage, but it's too late now.  And throughout history, marriage and business has always been as one.  How could they have found time for love?  But they did, and I do love you, my Julia.  How could I not, you are so beautiful.  I don't have a vision how Victoria's Secret be involved in our wedding.  Obviously, people can't be half-naked.  It will be an Islamic marriage after all.  Therein the complexity and depth of our marriage: Europe + USA + Islam + Asia, set in the Malaysian countryside.  Would it be a "normal" marriage?  Perhaps not, but insyaAllah we should have the power to make everyone else conform to our schedule.  So please learn how to slow down.

I question the wisdom of pushing a fashion show out of the context of displaying clothes as merchandise available for sale.  After all, that's how the show became popular in the beginning, right?  Today, the lingerie seems haute couture, which is great if you're rich and eccentric.  Trying to better ourselves every time is commendable, but human creativity is limited, in spite of what our egos say.  It is inevitable that the quality and attractiveness of the show will flatline, and that's when corruption and ugliness take over.  It's like a large country with a large population getting bigger and bigger, where the rich get richer while the poor become more numerous, will eventually resort to aggression to satisfy its needs.  A show, in order not to become boring, will eventually resort to sacrificing its dignity and humanity.  Once we run out of the world's most beautiful women, what's left is a skankfest.  And nothing destroys beauty faster than corruption.

Letter to Julia 20121119

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my beautiful, beloved Julia.  You are the most beautiful girl in the world to me, you are all I could ever dream of in a girl, I love you, and I want to marry you.  I'm sorry for poking fun at your half-naked friends.  Well no, I guess I'm not really sorry, because I want to marry YOU, not them.  So I don't care if they think I'm a jerk.  It's YOU who I love, not them.  It's YOU who I want to spend the rest of my life and afterlife with, not them.  I love you Julia,  YOU are my heart and soul, not your half-naked friends.

So I suppose I'll be switching back to the Sailor Moon marathon on Shadowplay TV.  But I want to help your bosses a little by looping the Victoria's Secret fashion show until I see the latest show.  Because you are MY girl, and your bosses belong to YOU.  For none of us are truly independent, all human works will crumble, and we all rely on Allah.

Qur'an 20121118

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

41.  The companions of the left hand: what will be the companions of the left hand?

42.  In the midst of a fierce blast of fire, and in boiling water.

43.  And in the shades of black smoke.

44.  Nothing to refresh, nor to please.

45.  For that they were wont to be indulged before that, in wealth.

46.  And persisted obstinately in wickedness supreme.

47.  And they used to say, "What, when we die, and become dust and bones, shall we indeed be raised up again?

48.  And our fathers of old?"

49.  Say, "Yes, those of old and those of later times,

50.  All will certainly be gathered together for the meeting appointed for a Day well known."

The Inevitable 56:41-50
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Yes, those of old and those of later times, all will certainly be gathered together for the meeting appointed for a Day well known.

Letter to Julia 20121117

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Oh my dearest Julia, I love you, and I long for you so much.  I know I'm not supposed to whine, but I can't help it.  I WANT MY SWEETIE!!!

SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!!  SOB!! 

WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!!  WAAAAHHH!!! 

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO HOO .........................

**Sniff**  Don't you just love cut and paste?  Modern romance!  Well, I pray you are trying to slow down, and are taking good care of yourself.  I won't talk business today, but I did see the preview to the Victoria's Secret fashion show.  Lily and Doutzen look exhausted!  They just had babies?  Doesn't anyone help them with the children?  I don't know how useful I would be at raising children, but it wouldn't bother me at all to do the night shift, so you can sleep all the way until dawn.  I usually wake up at 3 or 4 am everyday anyway to do worship.  I might have to pray while holding the baby with my right arm, but I've seen other parents do so.  Mind you, I'm a late riser because of it, and because I hate mornings.  I'm just not a morning person.  But last night, I had to sleep all the way until dawn.  Yeah, I had an active day, and was tired.  But more than that, I just want my sweetie.

Letter to Julia 20121115

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there Julia, my beloved.  I am so longing to see you, even though it may only be the convergence of some spots of light on my TV screen, but alas!  I am denied...  Oh my love!  Oh my dearest princess of my heart!  I managed to regain most of my Victoria's Secret fashion show collection.  So, I shut down the Sailor Moon marathon on Shadowplay TV in favor of an encore of the Victoria's Secret fashion show marathon.  I love it every time Candice walks into a mirror!  But I always feel bad for her as well.  Oh, please don't hurt yourself!

Now, I do like some of the musical performances on the show.  I think the trumpet player on the 2005 show was very tasteful.  Usher was great on the 2008 show.  I like the Spice Girls on the 2007 show.  And the Black Eyed Peas were hilarious!

Letter to Julia 20121114

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Oh, the drama!  Let's not talk about the drama happening here Julia, but let's talk about us.  Because I love you, and I want to marry you.  I'm not able to watch the latest Victoria's Secret fashion show on Youtube because of 3rd party copyright restrictions.  Oh, I'm so sad and lonely!  I want to see my sweetie!  It's bad enough that I'm such an idiot and accidentally deleted my entire Victoria's Secret fashion show collection.  Now don't get me wrong, I have utmost respect for copyrights, and if for some odd reason I perform sold-out concerts in public venues here, I would gladly pay a reasonable fee to the local performing rights society for them to distribute to the respective copyright holders, but as it is right now, I'm just a lonesome old loser singing to myself in my bedroom while watching a slideshow of a beautiful German model I've fallen in love with.   Can someone out there please upload the latest show without any audio?  I'd rather listen to Billie Holiday, Janis Joplin, Karen Carpenter and Doris Day instead of Rihanna, Justin Bieber and Bruno (is that the right guy?)  I have no interest in their music, so I don't need to hear it.  And if by chance Rihanna, Justin Bieber and Bruno (is that the right guy?) signed away their names and likenesses to BMG, then please just blur them out, because I don't want to look at them, plus the integrity of the copyrights will be maintained.

If you won't allow me to look at your half-naked friends anymore, then I won't.  But you have to realize, you are one of your half-naked friends, and it's you who I want to marry!  And since I don't have you here with me, then I only have pictures of you.  Oh, how sad and lonely!  Ya Allah, please have mercy on me, and grant me my love Julia in marriage, security and happiness soon.

Letter to Julia 20121113

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my beloved Julia.  It's nearly the end of the Islamic year, and tomorrow I have to get a new prayer schedule.  I arrange my life around the prayers.  I'm not as good as an imam who is at the mosque for every prayer, but at least I don't miss my prayers.  InsyaAllah.  So tomorrow I'll stop by the local office of the Department of Islamic Affairs and pick up a new calender/prayer schedule.  I think tomorrow is Deepavali, though.  Deepavali is a Hindu celebration, and a public holiday.  I hope they're not closed.  They should be working.  I have to work, and everyday.  Oh, whatever.  It's none of my business if they want to celebrate Deepavali just because everybody else does.  Let Allah be the judge.  I just want a new calender/prayer schedule.

Oh, please do take good care of yourself as you work hard, my dearest Julia.  I love you, and I want you to enjoy our life and love together.  Please remember that the goal of our marriage is to slow down, and build our happy family.  InsyaAllah.  I don't try to chase after mass media work protocol anymore.  I intend to dismantle it, and glorify Allah at the same time.  I like to be lazy, I like to snuggle with my sweetie, I like to veg out in the kampung.  Right now, I'm watching the Sailor Moon marathon on Shadowplay TV.  Even these cartoons say that showbiz pros have to constantly give everything and more, only then can they say they did their best.  And what was that for, again?  The international entertainment industry is saturated with evil and idolatry, and completely disrespectful to Allah.  I think I'll play a video game, and take a nap instead.  Wanna kiss and snuggle?

Letter to Julia 20121112

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Julia, my beloved!  How are you feeling, my dearest?  I love you!  I pray you are trying to stay calm and collected, and that you are patiently waiting for Allah's decree.  At least you have your friends with you, who happen to share the same business.  I am a lone wolf in my business.  Hah!  That reminds me of a Shadowplay song... "No one can save me from the wolf, because I am the wolf."  But that's not entirely true.  God has saved me over and over again.  You know Julia, you are in better position than me to make money out of our family business of music and fashion.  If anybody bugs or irritates you, news bias for example, just have your agent charge them an "annoyance fee".  Give a percentage to a reliable collection agency, and voila!  Instant income!  I don't have that kind of power.  I can only pray that Allah will squash them out in some weird, horrible and costly way.

Meanwhile, how about you occupy your thoughts and emotions by working on your avatar?  Getting the right wardrobe and look for your avatar is very time, thought and resource consuming.  Choosing clothes, makeup, skin, animations etc, can be as complex as professional modeling.  Oh that's right... it is your profession.  Just remember- the raiment of righteousness is the best.

Letter to Julia 20121110

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Julia, my beloved.  How are you feeling today?  You must be busy as usual, so please take good care of yourself.  I have been quite busy, and I was thoroughly drained when I woke up this morning, so I couldn't do much in terms of chores.  But today was a good day for cooking.  My bamboo shots fried rice was a resounding success!  It's quite simple, really.  Bamboo shoots can be very strong in flavor if you save some of its natural bitterness, so the fried rice should center on the bamboo shoots, and everything else you add in should taste neutral.  I slice up the bamboo shoots into coin shapes, then fried it up with the onion and garlic fond, then douse it with light soy sauce.  Cook it until the bamboo shoots attain the flavor you desire, then add the rice and everything else, and cook as a regular fried rice, but don't add so many vegetables that they drown out the bamboo shoots.  No need for any meats or seafood!  An egg, at the most!

At night, my chicken liver curry was another resounding success.  You would cook it as a normal curry with whatever vegetables, but the advantage of liver is that it can be tureened.  A tureen is between a paste and a solid.  Spice up the sliced liver in this case with curry powder and salt, then fry it up until it changes color.  Then remove it from the heat into a bowl, where you can mash it up with a spoon.  Then add the liver into your curry, and you will have a strong tasting liver curry with smooth texture.  I saved some curry for you, but since you didn't show up for dinner, I put your portion in the cooler.  I hope you start coming to dinner soon.

Letter to Julia 20121107

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Dearest Julia, how are you feeling today?  You must be busy as usual, so I pray you are taking good care of your most precious self, for I love you, and I want to marry you.  I'm feeling a bit lazy right now, but after all, I've running around all day.  I think I'll spend the rest of the night playing video games and eating sunflower seeds.  My cooler is full right now, alhamdulillah.  I have some bamboo shoots in there that I need to use up.  I don't really know how to use bamboo shoots, but there seems to be an endless supply outside, plus I've learned to like the flavor.  It tastes bitter raw, but soy sauce neutralizes the bitterness.  I assume it's the salt that does it.  Soup is the best bet, but I think I'll try fried rice with bamboo shoots.  Want some?  No, wait!  I haven't made any yet!

All I want from you is love and to give you a good married life, Julia.  Ours is an old fashioned romance, but it has great mystique and intensity, doesn't it?  Perhaps your fear will turn into anticipation as the clock ticks closer and closer to our marriage.  The union of strangers.  Love is a stranger who beckons you on.  InsyaAllah.  Just as I wait in anticipation to kissing and undressing you.

Letter to Julia 20121105

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Ah, you are my beautiful and precious love, my Julia.  Yes, it saddens me that I wasn't able to make your breakfast in bed, or buy you sweet things for your birthday.  It's been raining everyday again.  My right eyeball hurts, and I feel feverish.  I don't want to get ill, because I've had so much to do everyday.  I pray you are pacing yourself, and taking good care of yourself.  Did you have a good birthday?  I hope you gave yourself a nice halal treat for your birthday.  You are my love, and I cherish you.

Now, now my dearest.  Please try to stay calm.  It is OK to be afraid, but you must put your fear in the right place!  Put your fear in Allah, and Allah will be the One to keep you cool as the old cucumber.  InsyaAllah.  I am just a servant of Allah, a tool, a vessel to carry a few ghosts perhaps.  From your perspective, I am here to love you, help protect you and give you security, and give you a family that's all your own.  Certainly the massive scale of the situation has put you in awe, but this is not really my affair.  This situation belongs to Allah.  Which is also why I have to tolerate my frustrating poverty with patience until Allah deems it appropriate for me to have wealth.  You have patience too, and take a leap of faith, and know that there is no running away from Allah.  There is only running to Allah.

Letter to Julia 20121103

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Happy birthday, Julia!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!! 

I thought I'd say it all again, because I adore you so much!  Besides, I'm one day ahead of your time zone, right?  So how are you, my beloved?  I pray you are well.  Please take good care of yourself, and make sure you eat properly.  It has been raining everyday here since the full moon, but right before the full moon it was 2 days of blistering heat.  What wacky weather.  Oh, I was crying last letter because I couldn't serve you breakfast in bed, or afford to buy you even a Flake bar.  No, I wouldn't have ordered pizza delivery for breakfast.  I do know how to make pizza from scratch you know, as long as the cheese is good.