Letter to Julia 20120121

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the rejected.

I love YOU, and I want to marry YOU, Julia. Certainly I have been holding out for a few years, but do you think that I am so unfaithful that I wouldn't hold out until I keep the promise I made to you? No, it's not your fault, my beloved. You're just a girl.

Let's talk some more about my travel obligations while I'm still alive. I have committed myself to 3 more journeys in my life for my sake: Saudi Arabia for my hajj, Salt Lake City for my keeping the promise I made to the mysterious piano player, and Germany to get you. Any other travels to be made is for my wife's sake. So once we are married, I cannot allow you to travel alone, so I must accompany you. So whenever you travel, you will hold up whatever business I have created here, and depending on the level of influence of the music as Allah wills, the number of lives you put on hold whenever you choose to travel. Don't be cruel! Plan your trips formally and wisely! Anyway, I expect to be detained anywhere for whatever reason when I travel. Occupational hazard: people try to hold me down (listen to "Stone Free" by Jimi Hendrix). Ya Allah, please protect me and Julia.

The problem here is not conflict between nations. I say that businesspeople and artists from any country be free to work in Perlis as long as they show due respect to Allah and the local law. The issue is conflict between urban and rural, and this conflict is also separating this husband and wife, and the global spread of Islam that the marriage between music and fashion can for the glory of Allah. The city feels since it is the focus of population, then it is also the focus of culture. Well, I despise the city. I refuse to live there. So I will build my music base and the global culture thereof here in the Perlis countryside. The city need not fret. It still has its corruption, pollution, congestion and crime to make a culture of. I love the countryside. It's what makes Malaysia special. And may Allah deal severely with those who strive to separate husband and wife, and block the spread of Islam.

Qur'an 20120121

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

108. Say, "What has come to me by inspiration is that your God is One God. Will you therefore bow to God's Will?"

109. But if they turn back, say "I have proclaimed the Message to you all alike and in truth, but I know not whether that which you are promised is near or far."

110. It is God who knows what is open in speech, and what you hide.

111. I know not but that it may be a trial for you, and a grant of livelihood for a time.

112. Say, "O my Lord! Judge You in Truth! Our Lord most Gracious is the One whose assistance should be sought against the blasphemies you utter!"

The Prophets 21:108-112
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What has come to me by inspiration is that your God is One God. Will you therefore bow to God's Will?

I have proclaimed the Message to you all alike and in truth, but I know not whether that which you are promised is near or far.

O my Lord! Judge You in Truth! Our Lord most Gracious is the One whose assistance should be sought against the blasphemies you utter!

Letter to Julia 20120119

I guess the best part about not having many ingredients is that I get to fine tune my cooking to somewhat perfection, or close to perfection rather, because I'm forced to cook the same thing over and over again. Since I've been having some cheap beef lately, I've been working on my pepper steak. I got the idea of pepper steak from Andre. When he was alive, he used to make pepper steak on rice quite often. I suppose pepper steak is a southern recipe: he made a lot of southern food, even though he was from Baltimore. He used sweet red bell peppers and jalapenos in his recipe. I use large red chillis here, which are as hot as jalapenos but with the color and flavor of sweet red bell peppers.

Cut a LOT of large red chillis and onions into strips. Cut the beef in strips, too. Since I've been using cheap beef, marinading the meat is important, say in soy sauce and vinegar. It's not enough to tenderize the beef by marinading: I rub the beef with sugar then fry it in a pat of butter and fat or oil until the sugar caramelizes. Remove the beef, then stir fry the peppers and onions with light soy sauce in the grease that's left over. Don't overcook! Just heat it up, add the beef, then turn off the fire. Oh, I almost forgot! Add a ton of cracked black pepper to the beef when you rub it. Well, not a ton, but a lot. And don't use the machine-ground stuff. Take the pepper seeds and crack them: I use a hammer, personally. It's absolutely yummy, especially when my mouth is burning from all those peppers! I love spicy food. Besides, all I have lately is beef, so I've been eating pepper steak pretty much everyday.

It's kind of like not having a big recording studio to produce music. So, I make do with what home studio stuff that I have, compare it back to back with the major label stuff, and make sure my stuff is louder and better. Sure, it's a learning process, but at least I didn't have to learn by being indebted to a major label, and having my music toyed with by accountants and executives. Which left me free to create something of benefit to the community instead of living off the buying and selling of people and today, I love making music, and the music I make. I get to take my time, which is good because I'm lazy and want to snuggle with my sweetie, and make sure I'm happy with the recording before I release it. Allah has been most Generous and Kind to me.

And how are you, my angel? Please take good care of yourself, for you are so beautiful, and I love you so. I'm sure you must be excited with all the attention you're getting lately, but please maintain your prayers, and ask Allah to bring us together soon, in love and happiness in this life, as well as the Hereafter.

Letter to Julia 20120116

Hi Julia. It's been a groggy Sunday for me. I woke up at 8:30 this morning, about an hour earlier than the time I usually wake up. Oh, I'm becoming so old. I've become so fussy about my sleeping habits. Wake me up an hour early, and I'm my usual easy-going self for most of the day. Anyway, every Sunday I help my Mom clean her house, that's why I woke up an hour early. I'm slow, so I have to start a little early so I have time to cook my lunch, before the noon prayer, before I do my vocal training. Oh dear, these routines make me feel like Rain Man! Uh oh.

It's all the same day, anyway. Perhaps some minor adjustments here and there, maybe I have to clean my Mom's house, maybe I have to go to the music school, on Fridays I have to attend the group prayer. But it's the same day, wherever or whoever you are. Time flies, and suddenly it's Judgement Day. Or we die, which is pretty much the same thing, since we can't score anymore positive points with God because we are too dead to do so. I just sit here and wait, and work towards you with whatever strength I have, and insyaAllah, someday you will appear.

Meanwhile, all but one of the idols were mysteriously smashed overnight. The bosses gathered around the devastation and were dumbfounded. It seems that the culprit was the biggest idol, but alas, it was unable to speak for itself.

Letter to Julia 20120114

Malaysia doesn't have abortion clinics. Unwanted pregnancies are abundant however, and since legalized abortion isn't an option, unwanted children are carried out to full term then discarded, into trash cans, ditches, drains, rivers, scrub, etc. A blessed few are found still alive, but many are found dead, and crawling with insects, or partially eaten by scavengers. Does this shock you? The discarding of newborn babies doesn't necessarily make it a worse act than abortion: it is still the intentional killing of a human child. The awareness of the child is not the issue: it is the awareness of the parents that is the problem. But why blame it on a libido out of control? This is a human condition, prevalent for ages, where human life is meaningless in comparison to selfish desires. Lost are they, with no sense of mercy nor compassion, no awareness of God whatsoever. Hey, but who am I to understand or criticize their economic and social difficulties? I don't share their situation: I've been keeping celibate until I can afford to start a family with Julia. InsyaAllah.

Humans are always in a big hurry. Look at the lunacy that occurs at traffic lights. In the same way, the horny are in a big hurry to fuck, as the skeptics are in a big hurry to get their asses kicked. They really don't care about consequences unless they are directly affected, and they will be. Assuredly. We need to slow down, Julia. I love you.

Qur'an 20120114

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

39. If only the unbelievers knew when they would not be able to ward off the fire from their faces, nor yet from their backs, and no help can reach them!

40. No, it may come to them all of a sudden and confound them. No power will they have to avert it, nor will they get respite.

41. Mocked were messengers before you, but their scoffers were hemmed in by the thing that they mocked.

42. Say, "Who can keep you safe by night and by day from the Most Gracious?" Yet they turn away from the mention of their Lord.

43. Or have they gods that can guard them from Us? They have no power to aid themselves, nor can they be defended from Us.

44. No, We gave the good things of this life to these men and their fathers until the period grew long for them. See they not that We reduce the land from its outlying borders? Is it then they who will win?

45. Say, "I do warn you according to revelation." But the deaf will not hear the call, when they are warned.

46. If but a breath of the Wrath of your Lord does touch them, then they will say, "Woe to us! We did wrong indeed!"


The Prophets 21:39-46
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Who can keep you safe by night and by day from the Most Gracious?

I do warn you according to revelation.

Letter to Julia 20120112

**caution** Clam broth becomes poisonous quickly, even when it's frozen, so please make sure you use up your clam broth immediately, ja? I've never been at the point where I always have the right ingredients, because I've always been kind of poor. Even when I was working regularly, I spent a lot of money on music and music related expenses. Hey, entertainment business is expensive, y'know! You didn't think this is my hobby, did you? I wasn't just vegetating on a couch watching cable TV and eating bon bons, I was doing research and development! Anyway, since I didn't have that much money to spare for doing R&D on food business, I had to go with the flow and make do with what was on sale and whatever leftovers I had. Which caused a few stomachaches, because you can never absolutely trust what other people put in their cooking. Which is why I like my own cooking, because I don't give myself food poisoning even though I try not to waste anything, and I have to use leftovers on many occasions. InsyaAllah, by cooking my own food I can avoid food poisoning. But I would really prefer fresh ingredients all the time.

Perfection is for the next life. For today's dinner however, I made myself beef hash on rice. The fried onions were easy enough, but I didn't have veal stock or tomato paste. So I used leftover mutton soup and chilli sauce (which is basically tomato ketchup with chilli flavoring) which I had bought a half-gallon bottle. It tasted OK. The beef was cheap, and therefore chewy. I could have taken more pains to tenderize it, by marinading it properly and using butter, but I didn't have much butter left, plus there isn't much time between the Magrib and Isya' prayers to cook and eat. I suppose I could have taken my time, but I wanted to do other important things, like eat junk food, watch Shadowplay TV, and write to my sweetie. Hi Sweetie! You're so gorgeous, my lovely Julia.

Well, I never got around to eating much junk food. I wound up vacuuming my bedroom, then preparing my computer for more music work. I'm getting swamped with chores. So, when the money starts rolling in, insyaAllah, I'll have to avoid buying more stuff until I have completed preparing this house for our marriage. I do so dislike big houses, Julia. But I'll take what Allah gives me. If Allah did not wish to save you, then Allah would not have involved you in all this Islam. God would have left you to stray and closed up your heart, left you suffocating and always trying to climb up to the heights.