Qur'an 20141113

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

71.  Say, "Do you see?  If Allah were to make the night perpetual over you to the Day of Judgement, what god is there other than Allah, who can give you enlightenment?  Will you not then hearken?"

72.  Say, "Do you see?  If Allah were to make the day perpetual over you to the Day of Judgement, what god is there other than Allah, who can give you a night in which you can rest?  Will you not then see?"

73.  It is out of God's Mercy that God had made for you night and day, that you may rest therein, and that you may seek of God's Grace, and in order that you may be grateful.

The Narrations 28:71-73
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Do you see?  If Allah were to make the night perpetual over you to the Day of Judgement, what god is there other than Allah, who can give you enlightenment?  Will you not then hearken?

Do you see?  If Allah were to make the day perpetual over you to the Day of Judgement, what god is there other than Allah, who can give you a night in which you can rest?  Will you not then see?

Letter to Julia 20141110

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Ah!  I'm pleased to announce that my home made halal beef sausage was a resounding success.  My sausage and basil pizza was like from heaven.  And the beauty is that there's no pig in it!  I put my beef sausage up against any Chicago pizza.  I once met an heir of a Chicago sausage maker back while I was at the pizza joint.  I won't mention the family name, but if one were to hear it then one would think to oneself, "That's the family name of a sausage maker for sure."

Mystery of the Worms: the stool of my kittens have been soft recently.  I thought that it was stress from the intense weather lately, then I saw white specks in the stool.  I took a closer look, and the white specks were wriggling!  I went to the vet first thing this morning, but how did those worms get there?  They don't go outside the house.  They eat only cat food.  The sand didn't have any worms in it.  Their mother had a worm shot.  Sure they like to put things in their mouths and play with it, but my house has never been so clean: the little brats make me mop everywhere at least twice a day with bleach.  Well, like Sherlock Holmes said, "If you rule out the impossible, what's left is the solution."  It's either the sand or the cat food.

Of course the first type of people you would find on the Internet are the perverts.  I especially hate the perverts that pass themselves off as intellectuals, when sexual perversion is a base instinct.  Like a "De Sadean scholar" carries himself like a gourmet, yet we all know what it is he likes to eat.  Another thing Julia, is that I love your nose.  I told you before that I love your nose, and I don't want you to change it.  Julia, you have a beautiful nose.  It's a magnificent and regal nose.  If anybody tells you that you should change your nose, give me their names and I'll have them firebombed.  Just kidding!  Maybe.

Erin, I saw the list of models for the next VS fashion show, and your name wasn't there.  What!!  Where's my sweetie?  Are you perhaps doing a cameo?  Are you going to be masquerading as a rock star?  Are you going to be disguised as Todd Thomas?

Julia and Erin, you are my wives inshaAllah.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20141110

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

48.  But when the Truth comes to them from Ourselves, they say, "Why are not sent to him like those which were sent to Moses?"  Didn't they reject which were formerly sent to Moses?  They say, "Two kinds of sorcery, each assisting the other!"  And they say, "For us, we reject it all!"

49.  Say, "Then bring you a Book from Allah which is a better Guide than either of them, that I may follow it, if you are truthful!"

50.  But if they hearken not to you, know that they only follow their own lusts.  And who is more astray than one who follows his own lusts, devoid of guidance from Allah?  For Allah guides not people given to wrongdoing.

The Narrations 28:48-50
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Then bring you a Book from Allah which is a better Guide than either of them, that I may follow it, if you are truthful!

Letter to Julia 20141108

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, my beloved Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling right now?  It's been a rough 2 weeks for me, so right now I'm taking it easy, and catching up with some kitchen work.  I made some sardine dip, dough, and right now I'm simmering some red snapper head broth for my noodles.  I think I'll make some beef sausage next.  No, I don't have any casing.  Where can I get halal sheep intestine here?  Sardine dip is not just for dipping bread with, but makes an awesome base for many things like soups, pizza, and fried noodles.  Oh yeah, I think I'll make some sausage pizza tonight.  Want some?

Again I urge you to interact with me using Internet video.  I am firmly convinced that this is very lucrative for you and your bosses, and I want you to make some money.  Whatever you have to say to me, say it in a commercial.  The beauty is that it can be any product, as long as it's halal.  You can ignore comments and statistics, because they are irrelevant.  Shadowplay TV is the best and most watched TV station in the world, mashaAllah.  Just make sure you are well paid, and that your intentions and communication do not get twisted.  So please don't sign with just anybody, and beware of scripted realities.  Have fun, for God's sake.  Just remember that we are a Muslim family, so please be good girls.

I will search for your videos whenever I go to the Internet cafe, whenever that may be.  I will use the search string "julia stegner erin heatherton".  Don't just limit yourself to Google.  It's a great big world out there, and your money may come from anywhere like Russia, Thailand, Saudi Arabia, etc. and can snowball into television, radio and print.  Tell your agents to think big.  I am your husband inshaAllah, and it is my responsibility to provide for you.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20141105

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

So all of a sudden, you both are Queen of the Internet.  How did that happen?  From watching your videos, I have come to the conclusion that you both are very, very naughty.  You are as naughty as a gang of kittens.  I love you all the more, but I have a small request: please don't pee on my floor?

But seriously Julia, watching you gives me heart disease.  I must really, really love you.  And you too, Erin.  Perhaps I'm just too sensitive when it comes to you.  You both must take that leap of faith, and use this medium to interact with me.  Just forget the rest of the world, be oblivious, ignore comments and statistics, and interact with me.  You don't have to say much of anything.  All you have to do is be beautiful, and you are beautiful.  You are very beautiful, you are the most beautiful girls in the world, because you are MY girls.  MINE, MINE.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.  Shadowplay TV is the best and most watched TV station in the world, mashaAllah.  Make sure you charge steep prices for endorsements.  This is a gold mine, after all it's a global market.  No, I don't want to consume your hard earned money.

Here, let me do my part.  I'll do the same Q & A by Free People:

Q:  If you could go on a date with anyone, who would it be?
A:  I don't date.  I make a commitment and marry, and I already know who I want to marry.

Q:  Your most prized possession?
A:  My copy of the Qur'an which I bought in 1999 at a Middle Eastern restaurant/grocery store.  I asked the clerk to wrap it up for me because my hands were dirty, and he gave me a dirty look.  Actually, it belongs to God, so it's not MY possession.

Q:  Do you like cats or dogs?
A:  Hands down cats, but I don't mind dogs, especially the ones that are well loved and well taken care of.  By the way, Casper used to be my drummer's name, but now I do my own drumming.  That's reminds me, I didn't post this video properly a few years ago.

Q:  What's one word that describes you?  Why?
A:  Unknown.  I don't know.

P.S. Please be good girls.  Sorry to make you even more famous.

Letter to Julia 20141104

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Did you like that song, Julia?  Isn't that beautiful music?  At first, I had some other video to post for your birthday.  But right now I'm studying about Badfinger, and I found that song to be so much more appropriate.  The history of Badfinger is very sad, with complex roots that involve the Beatles, and the impact on entertainment business still resonates today, and has gone global.  People aren't aware of it, and they forget the music, but those who remember know that the music is very beautiful.  You and Erin should look up the story of Badfinger.  If you can find it.

And how are you doing, Erin sweetie?  Are you having a great time?  It must be awesome to be as beautiful as you and Julia.  Don't forget that it gets very lonely at the top, and that's one reason why we must marry.  I want to keep you close to me at all times.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Floofy has run out of milk.  Which must be awkward for her, because she is cooped up all night inside the house with kittens that are always hungry and naughty.  At times she plays with them, but when she's not in the mood to play, she hisses and snarls at them.  Especially at Bob Cat and Bat Cat.  The boys can get really obnoxious.  I guess she's saying, "Get the human to give you food."  Well, feeding time is dawn and 4pm.  You are invited anytime.  No, not for cat food.  Tonight the human food is steak and fries.  Crinkle cut!

Letter to Julia 20141102

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Happy birthday, beautiful Julia.  I love you, and I need you. I want to marry you.

It is my goal to build your house, and to take good loving care of you and Erin.