Letter to Julia 20140331

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

As you know, little Floofy Ramadan will be having kittens, inshaAllah.  Her pregnancy is just starting to show, and it's affecting her balance.  She tried to jump onto the chair, but she couldn't make it all the way, and she flopped over and landed on her butt.  I thought she would be OK just hanging around the compound during the day, then spending her nights in the house, after all, it is kind of hot and dry right now.  Ugh.  I hate hot weather.  Thank Allah for air conditioning.  Well, one day she didn't report home one night, and I got all stressed out.  Then when she casually came strolling in the next afternoon, I asked her, "Where have you been?  Wandering around when you're pregnant?  How could you?"  She replied "Meow," which I'm sure implied, "Yeah, yeah".  Serves me right for asking a cat rhetorical questions.  So I sentenced Floofy to be imprisoned to the house until her kittens are strong enough to wander around.

Which started my thinking, should I keep you prisoner to the house when you're pregnant?  No, you're not a cat.  I wouldn't want to leave you alone even to throw out the trash, but I would stock up on emergency rations anyhow.  Perhaps a truck full of canned and dried foods, and a dozen giant bottles at any given time filled with drinking water, 6 full canisters of LPG gas, etc etc.  If you want a pizza, we can just call Domino's or something.  should I barricade the door?  You're going to have to follow to Friday prayers.  They have a separate and air conditioned room for the women now.  Please don't go wandering around when you're pregnant.  Take me along.  Let's just stay here, OK?  I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20140331

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

106.  And most of them believe not in Allah without associating with God!

107.  Do they then feel secure from the coming against them of the covering veil of the wrath of Allah, or of the coming against them of the Hour, all of a sudden, while they perceive not?

108.  Say you, "This is my Way.  I do invite unto Allah, on evidence clear as the seeing with one's eyes, I and whoever follows me.  Glory to Allah!  And never will I join gods with Allah!"

109.  Nor did We send before you any but men, whom We did inspire, living in human habitations.  Do they not travel through the earth, and see what was the end of those before them?  But the home of the Hereafter is best, for those who do right.  Will you not then understand?

110.  Until when Our messengers giveup hope, and think they were treated as liars, there reaches them Our help,and those whom We will are delivered into safety.  But never will be warded off Our punishment from those who are in sin.

Joseph 12:106-110
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This is my Way.  I do invite unto Allah, on evidence clear as the seeing with one's eyes, I and whoever follows me.  Glory to Allah!  And never will I join gods with Allah!

Letter to Julia 20140329

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there most beautiful in the world Julia and Erin.  I love you, I love you.  I've decided that stuffing seafood with seafood doesn't work.  Because it confuses the palate.  Perhaps if it were the stuffing were the same type of meat as the thing it was stuffing, then it might be better.  I don't know.  From now on, I'm stuffing my fish with aromatic herbs and spices only.  I still have a lot of blended squid and onion left, so I made some squid balls.  Oh, you didn't know squid had balls?  Oh, ha ha.  Here the locals often cook with squid balls, fish balls, etc.  Basically like meatballs.  I made my squid balls with rice flour.  I fried them up, and they browned nicely and looked and smelled great.  Smelled like squid, but tasted like steamed rice.  Not unpalatable, but a failure.  I want my squid balls to taste like squid.  I'm haven't been fortunate with squid lately.  In my cooking, that is.

Letter to Julia 20140326

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, my dearest wives.  You are my love and my life, and I love you with all my heart.  I was searching for Julia at Victoria's Secret for my TV station yesterday, so I was trawling through videos looking and looking for my Julia.  Now you know I don't hunt for Julia anymore on the Internet because I don't want to come across any bad news and/or lies: at least I have my bubble of fantasy to help sustain my optimism, but I thought Victoria's Secret would be an OK source for me to see my Julia again.  I found lots of Erin, but no Julia.  You're so secretive, Julia.  I bet I'm more secretive than you, though.  I'm sorry I couldn't wait around to drool over you Erin, because my Internet time was short, and I had to find as much of Julia at Victoria's Secret as quickly as possible.  I didn't, so it looks like Shadowplay TV is going to be heavy on Erin over Julia.  Please forgive me Julia my dearest heart.  I thank you for your love and patience with me.  But I suppose Erin is the queen of Victoria's Secret, while Julia is the quenn of everything else.  That's a rather nice arrangement.  You are my Queens.  You are not just you anymore, you are me.  You are MINE, MINE.
 
On the menu for dinner tonight is sushi.  The fish is torpedo scad, with eggs and chives.  My Dad got me an extra large scad, so I hollowed it out, and will grill the rest tomorrow inshaAllah.  I think I'll stuff it with squid meatballs.  Yeah, I bought a kilo of baby squid at the night market Monday, so I blended it up with onions, after removing the spines and ink sacs.  Baby squid is tedious.  But anyway, I made 24 man-sized sushi rolls.  I ate 18 of them so I'm stuffed, so you both can have the last 6.  Oh, you want more?  I thought you were models.  OK OK, I'll make you more.  Because I love you, I love you.  But tomorrow it's extra laps on the treadmill.

Letter to Julia 20140324

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

My washing machine broke down today.  Gah!  It just won't start.  It's an old machine my Mom gave me.  I guess I'm going to have to wash my clothes by hand.  High fashion, huh?  Good thing my clothes are cheap.

I'm sure you've observed now that the Qur'an is more powerful than any book of magic.  That's because the Qur'an is the Word of God, not magic, and Allah is the Reality.  The Qur'an does guide to that which is most right, and the believers who work righteousness will have a magnificent reward.  But for the wrongdoers and the insincere, it will cause loss after loss.  "When you do read the Qur'an, seek Allah's protection from Satan the rejected one. (Bees 16:98)"  And please take it slow.  Don't try to cram in as much of the Qur'an as quickly as possible.  "High above all is Allah, the Ruler, the Truth.  Be not in haste with the Qur'an before its revelation to you is completed but say, 'O my Lord!  Advance me in knowledge.'" (Ta Ha 20:114)  So go ahead and ash God a question.  Offer a prayer first before you do your reading.  I've stopped asking questions.  I just try to do what I'm told the best I can.  I find Allah to be most Gracious, most Merciful.  And please don't forget, the goal is the Hereafter and that we'll get there together in happiness and peace.

Now please excuse me while I go rinse my clothes.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140322

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my most beautiful in the world Julia and Erin.  How are those precious emotions today?  It has been hot and dry here.  I prefer the 4 seasons without a hot summer.  I prefer temperate to slightly cold weather, but I'm sure my feet don't.  I'm pretty sure you both don't like cold weather either.  Well, it hardly ever gets cold around here.  And if it does, it's usually nothing a blanket or a snuggle can't fix.

I'm watching "High Plains Drifter" right now on Shadowplay TV.  Again?  The computer chooses the show, or rather the randomizer chooses the show, so I suppose in a way Allah chooses the show by taking over the computer.  Plus, I have been asking Allah for guidance, and to be my program director.  But of course, I could always skip to the next show, which of course the computer chooses for me.  Have you noticed that in this movie all the sweaty cowboys have beautiful teeth?  I suppose they had super orthodontists back in the Old West.  I just added some Victoria's Secret ads and interviews into the programming, to be shown whenever the computer feels like it.  The Best and Most-Watched TV station in the world, mashaAllah!  My pleasure.  I will always endorse you, because I love you and I want to marry you.  And I love you and I want to marry you.  Makeup tips from Erin Heather!

On the menu tonight is chicken, potato and bamboo shoot stew.  Want some?

Letter to Julia 20140320

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello again, my dearest Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today?  I pray that you are feeling healthy and confident.  I am feeling lazy as usual.  I spent the evening cutting grass around Casa de Julia inshaAllah.  The yard there is gradually becoming more and more pleasing to the eye.  Do you like tapioca?  I seem to be good at growing tapioca.  If you look at that old house, you would see that there is a lot to tear down.  My aunt suggested to recycle as much as we can.  The glass windowpanes can be reused, the wood would probably make good fencing, and all the brick and rock could be used to raise and strengthen the ground floor.  Now, I'm not a master builder or carpenter.  I'm a musician.  I watch a lot of "This Old House", but I can't even build a henhouse, and I certainly don't have the tools.  Oh dear, I'm starting to feel really lazy.  I have to vacuum clean my bedroom first before I can veg out and watch TV.  Oh no, I have to vacuum first.  I hate housecleaning!  But I love you.  And I love you.