Letter to Julia 20140329

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there most beautiful in the world Julia and Erin.  I love you, I love you.  I've decided that stuffing seafood with seafood doesn't work.  Because it confuses the palate.  Perhaps if it were the stuffing were the same type of meat as the thing it was stuffing, then it might be better.  I don't know.  From now on, I'm stuffing my fish with aromatic herbs and spices only.  I still have a lot of blended squid and onion left, so I made some squid balls.  Oh, you didn't know squid had balls?  Oh, ha ha.  Here the locals often cook with squid balls, fish balls, etc.  Basically like meatballs.  I made my squid balls with rice flour.  I fried them up, and they browned nicely and looked and smelled great.  Smelled like squid, but tasted like steamed rice.  Not unpalatable, but a failure.  I want my squid balls to taste like squid.  I'm haven't been fortunate with squid lately.  In my cooking, that is.

Letter to Julia 20140326

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello, my dearest wives.  You are my love and my life, and I love you with all my heart.  I was searching for Julia at Victoria's Secret for my TV station yesterday, so I was trawling through videos looking and looking for my Julia.  Now you know I don't hunt for Julia anymore on the Internet because I don't want to come across any bad news and/or lies: at least I have my bubble of fantasy to help sustain my optimism, but I thought Victoria's Secret would be an OK source for me to see my Julia again.  I found lots of Erin, but no Julia.  You're so secretive, Julia.  I bet I'm more secretive than you, though.  I'm sorry I couldn't wait around to drool over you Erin, because my Internet time was short, and I had to find as much of Julia at Victoria's Secret as quickly as possible.  I didn't, so it looks like Shadowplay TV is going to be heavy on Erin over Julia.  Please forgive me Julia my dearest heart.  I thank you for your love and patience with me.  But I suppose Erin is the queen of Victoria's Secret, while Julia is the quenn of everything else.  That's a rather nice arrangement.  You are my Queens.  You are not just you anymore, you are me.  You are MINE, MINE.
 
On the menu for dinner tonight is sushi.  The fish is torpedo scad, with eggs and chives.  My Dad got me an extra large scad, so I hollowed it out, and will grill the rest tomorrow inshaAllah.  I think I'll stuff it with squid meatballs.  Yeah, I bought a kilo of baby squid at the night market Monday, so I blended it up with onions, after removing the spines and ink sacs.  Baby squid is tedious.  But anyway, I made 24 man-sized sushi rolls.  I ate 18 of them so I'm stuffed, so you both can have the last 6.  Oh, you want more?  I thought you were models.  OK OK, I'll make you more.  Because I love you, I love you.  But tomorrow it's extra laps on the treadmill.

Letter to Julia 20140324

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

My washing machine broke down today.  Gah!  It just won't start.  It's an old machine my Mom gave me.  I guess I'm going to have to wash my clothes by hand.  High fashion, huh?  Good thing my clothes are cheap.

I'm sure you've observed now that the Qur'an is more powerful than any book of magic.  That's because the Qur'an is the Word of God, not magic, and Allah is the Reality.  The Qur'an does guide to that which is most right, and the believers who work righteousness will have a magnificent reward.  But for the wrongdoers and the insincere, it will cause loss after loss.  "When you do read the Qur'an, seek Allah's protection from Satan the rejected one. (Bees 16:98)"  And please take it slow.  Don't try to cram in as much of the Qur'an as quickly as possible.  "High above all is Allah, the Ruler, the Truth.  Be not in haste with the Qur'an before its revelation to you is completed but say, 'O my Lord!  Advance me in knowledge.'" (Ta Ha 20:114)  So go ahead and ash God a question.  Offer a prayer first before you do your reading.  I've stopped asking questions.  I just try to do what I'm told the best I can.  I find Allah to be most Gracious, most Merciful.  And please don't forget, the goal is the Hereafter and that we'll get there together in happiness and peace.

Now please excuse me while I go rinse my clothes.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140322

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my most beautiful in the world Julia and Erin.  How are those precious emotions today?  It has been hot and dry here.  I prefer the 4 seasons without a hot summer.  I prefer temperate to slightly cold weather, but I'm sure my feet don't.  I'm pretty sure you both don't like cold weather either.  Well, it hardly ever gets cold around here.  And if it does, it's usually nothing a blanket or a snuggle can't fix.

I'm watching "High Plains Drifter" right now on Shadowplay TV.  Again?  The computer chooses the show, or rather the randomizer chooses the show, so I suppose in a way Allah chooses the show by taking over the computer.  Plus, I have been asking Allah for guidance, and to be my program director.  But of course, I could always skip to the next show, which of course the computer chooses for me.  Have you noticed that in this movie all the sweaty cowboys have beautiful teeth?  I suppose they had super orthodontists back in the Old West.  I just added some Victoria's Secret ads and interviews into the programming, to be shown whenever the computer feels like it.  The Best and Most-Watched TV station in the world, mashaAllah!  My pleasure.  I will always endorse you, because I love you and I want to marry you.  And I love you and I want to marry you.  Makeup tips from Erin Heather!

On the menu tonight is chicken, potato and bamboo shoot stew.  Want some?

Letter to Julia 20140320

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello again, my dearest Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today?  I pray that you are feeling healthy and confident.  I am feeling lazy as usual.  I spent the evening cutting grass around Casa de Julia inshaAllah.  The yard there is gradually becoming more and more pleasing to the eye.  Do you like tapioca?  I seem to be good at growing tapioca.  If you look at that old house, you would see that there is a lot to tear down.  My aunt suggested to recycle as much as we can.  The glass windowpanes can be reused, the wood would probably make good fencing, and all the brick and rock could be used to raise and strengthen the ground floor.  Now, I'm not a master builder or carpenter.  I'm a musician.  I watch a lot of "This Old House", but I can't even build a henhouse, and I certainly don't have the tools.  Oh dear, I'm starting to feel really lazy.  I have to vacuum clean my bedroom first before I can veg out and watch TV.  Oh no, I have to vacuum first.  I hate housecleaning!  But I love you.  And I love you.

Letter to Julia 20140318

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my dearest Julia and Erin!  Mwah!  Mwah!  MMMMuuuuuWAH!!!  Yeah, it's still my week of isolation, but it looks like I just can't tear myself away from my beloved.  I love you, I love you, so much and with all my heart.  I wish you were hear with me.  You are so beautiful, I long to be married to you, and be with you always.

So what's the news?  It's just the same old same old around here.  I had beef and potato curry with home made flat bread for dinner.  It was that sirloin I bought the other day.  It turned out to be fattier than I anticipated.  Yummy!  It's almost like beef and potato stew, except that it's curry.  Want some?  There's some construction going on at my Mom's house, and there's a lot of extra tile and rock that might be put to use.  Like raising the ground floor over at Casa de Julia up higher above the potential flood level.  Floofy finally got herself inseminated, inshaAllah.  It was that handsome greyish-brown tomcat with long, striped legs.  He's got blue eyes!  I want those kittens.  Ya Allah, please make them beautiful, healthy and happy.  It finally rained.  No, it's not weather distortion: it's supposed to be the dry season now.  My cooler was bleeding a few days ago.  No, it wasn't from any meats inside the cooler.  I checked.  MashaAllah, I seem to attract ghosts.  You both had better be prepared for the supernatural when you marry me, inshaAllah.  I'll teach you the proper incantations, inshaAllah.  The most basic is, "I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the rejected."  Now I'm watching the Victoria's Secret fashion show 2000 on Shadowplay TV.  Oh my God!  Doesn't this station play anything else?  It should be renamed "The Victoria's Secret Channel".  But yeah, it's just the same old routine around here.  I love you, I love you.

Now please remember my dearest and precious wives, that the goal of our marriage is to slow down and raise a family.  Yes, it may be hectic and exciting right now, but you must not slide down into the abyss as quickly as the others.  YOU are the Rock and Roll Princess.  Slow down.  Make 'em wait for you.

Letter to Julia 20140313

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I love you my dearest, I love you I love you with all my heart.  Occasionally, I take a break from the Internet by taking a so-called "week of isolation", by not going online from Friday to Friday unless I absolutely have to, and tomorrow begins my week of isolation.  I don't foresee any Qur'an that I have to blog, so I might actually take a week off from blogging.  It's not that I love you less, on the contrary I wish you were with me to share my isolation, but we're not married yet.  Or I might just go and blog anyway because I love you I love you so much.  I wish so much to be married to you.  I'm sure your spy network will confirm that I will be staying at home most of the time, and not doing anything bad like sluttin' around.  I think I'll clean up Floofy's cage in preparation to turn it into a kitchen.  I can't fix the roof or chop down that quinine tree, though.  But please don't be slighted that I don't post anything for a week.  I love you I love you so much, you are so beautiful.  I want to marry you and live happily ever after and Hereafter.  InshaAllah.