Movie night

 

It's movie night again!  Watch a movie with me!  "Next" (2007).  Nicolas Cage doesn't strike me as a romantic lead, he should avoid doing any smiling and kissing.  And Julianne Moore can't run.  It's a shame she's been typecast as a cop, because she can't run.  Be gentle with those knees, Honey.  Otherwise, this movie does work as a thriller.  It's got that nice time loop going without getting excessive.  There's no need for a sequel.  But the story probably would have been better if he never left the casinos, and the nuke never came into play.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

77.  Have you not turned your vision to those who were told to hold back their hands but establish regular prayers and spend in regular charity?  When the order for fighting was issued to them, behold!  A section of them feared people as or even more than they should have feared Allah.  They said, "Our Lord!  Why have You ordered us to fight?  Would You not grant us respite to our term, near?"  Say, "Short is the enjoyment of this world.  The hereafter is the best for those who do right.  Never will you be dealt with unjustly in the very least!"

The Women 4:77

Recycled

 

We love cats!

 

I have 7 cats.  Yes they can be naughty, and it's 7 x naughty.  But the only time any of my cats break my heart is when they become ill or pass away.  I love my kitties very much.  Gotta have the bleach, though.  Ya Allah, thank You for my kitties.  Please heal and protect them, give them long happy healthy lives and dignified deaths.

Hold the sauce

 

Dinner last night at the mosque was awesome.  Alhamdulillah!  Someone brought in a ridiculous amount of grilled fish and seafood dishes, it was a table from heaven.  I didn't bother with anything other than the grilled mackerel, and my cat family had plenty of fish heads to enjoy the pleasure of life.

When I cook for myself, I don't give myself stomach problems.  The challenge this Ramadan is letting others feed me.  I can't efficiently navigate around all the different foods, but today I bought some pills that will help strengthen my stomach.  The medicine makes me high, though.  I've learned to avoid saucy foods and sour drinks.  If I went to the restaurant in the video above, I would tell them to hold the sauce.

People who succeed in the free market but don't help feed and shelter the poor are uncivilized beasts

 

And will be treated like animals.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

Say, "Who will give life to them is Who had created them since before."  And Allah is All-Knowing over all beings.

Ya Sin 36:79

One Punch Man

 

The entire seasons one and two of One Punch Man is on YouTube!  Everyone aspires to be God, but only God is God.  The author has absolutely no clue as to Who God is.  Well, he will find out eventually and it probably won't be a blessing for him.  Meanwhile, that makes Saitama most interesting and entertaining when nobody knows who he is.

Humph

 

Ugh, this heat is messing with my heart.  But we must be grateful to Allah.

TikTok is blocking my uploads and freezing my stats, as you can see below.  What a bunch of crooks.  I'm being banned by the video platform with the worst reputation!  What's next?  OnlyFans?

Pathetic

 

I've never been a great housekeeper, but I've grown enough to not let stuff clog up the floor so much you can't see the floor.  That way it's easier to vacuum clean, which I do twice a week inshaAllah.  As for opening a restaurant, nah never.  Been there, done that.  I've more important things to do now.

Fish heads

 

I was going to bitch about TikTok because they seemed to be blocking my uploads, but it got fixed a few minutes ago so I guess I have nothing to complain about.  I can't help feeling like I'm dealing with a bunch of crooks though, but what else is new.

Instead, I'll talk about fish heads.  I've been eating at the mosque lately, and sometimes the menu is cat-friendly.  Like rice with fried mackerel.  I used to go around asking those guys for their fish heads to take home to my cat family but it makes me talk too much, so it's much easier to just dig in the trash.  Or swipe all the fish heads before anyone else gets to the fish.  It's unbelievable how possessive people get once the fish is on their plate.  No human I know eats mackerel heads but when I asked for the fish head, some people hid their plate under their sarong.  One kid even lied, and said he eats mackerel heads.  A couple of nights ago, someone served an intricate rice combo called "nasi kerabu Kelantan".  They obviously put a lot of work into it and I feel sorry for them, because the locals didn't care too much for the dish.  Especially the fish, which was mackerel dipped in batter then fried.  But the cats had a feast that night.

Yikes!

 

Hi Natty!  Tears of gold, huh.  I suppose 

"Model Natalie Ludwig and her partner, photographer Austin Calvello share a moment of intimacy" and "Natalie Ludwig and Austin Calvello share emotional visuals from a recent trip, exploring moments of intimacy, devotion and togetherness" means what it means.  You've worked with Austin for years already, right?  Thank you for telling me about this.  The problem is that I still trust you.  And I still don't have a ring so until then, you have all that time.  Unless of course, you gave up your chastity.

You folks are thinking, "Why doesn't he hook up with a fan?"  Well, I can get fanatics without having to hook up.  But I am a Muslim, and chastity is a big deal to me.  Plus, I like blondes.  So if Natalie is through with me, then my next move is to negotiate with parents in the Netherlands.

I told you not to fast

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  You are my wife inshaAllah, and I love you with all of my heart.

Fasting for Ramadan is mandatory for Muslims only.  If you were not Muslim, please do not fast for this occasion.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

144.  And from a pair of camels and from a pair of cattle.  Say, "Is it forbidden the two males or the two females, or what is in the wombs of the two females?  Were you witness when Allah decided this for you?  Who is more oppressive than people who make lies about Allah to lead astray humans without knowledge?"  Verily Allah will not grant knowledge to those who do wrong.

The Cattle 6:144

Movie night

 

Hi Natty!  Hi Honey!  How's the family?  I hope you are having a swell time over there, and keeping safe and healthy.  You must have been working hard, so kick back and relax because...

It's movie night again!  Watch a movie with me!  "Tombstone" (1993).  Cheesy, but entertaining.  Doc Holliday and Johnny Ringo were great.  The Internet told me that the part where Wyatt Earp walked unscathed into a hail of gunfire at the creek to shoot Curly Joe point blank with a shotgun is true.  Do you believe everything the Internet tells you?  What would be really entertaining is if Wyatt Earp turned into Snake Plissken when his brother died, then rode a pale Thing to wipe out the Cowboys.

Viral

 

Hi Natty!  How are you today, Honey?  Making the big bucks, huh.  That's nice.  Stay alert, now.  Keep safe and healthy.

Facebook is pro-Israel, by the way.  I've been thinking about the hackers that keep interrupting my Qur'an stream at the mosque.  There's no way they could mess with the cell phone transmission from outside this area, so the culprits have to be local.  This area is a Muslim majority and it's unlikely that non-Muslims would get involved, so the perpetrators must be fake Muslims.  

Also folks, I put Mary on TikTok.  I guess you can find her @mary.unknown7 and if you can't, then please bitch about it to TikTok.  At first, I thought I could sneak in and get some honest numbers.  But they caught me, then gaslighted me and zeroed out my stats.  You can see this in the screen capture below.  I guess what's viral is viral, whether it be statistics online or I have to deal with it face to face.  Either way, it's a pain in the ass.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

56.  Say, "I am forbidden to worship those other than Allah, whom you call upon."  Say, "I will not follow your vain desires.  If I did, I would stray from the path, and be not of the company of those who receive guidance."

The Cattle 6:56

No fence sitters allowed

 

Hi Natty!  Thank you for your love!  I love you too!  Try to enjoy your position and who you are, OK!  You are MY girl.  Please keep safe and healthy.  Your family too.

Since I dumped a cell phone carrier and went fiberoptic, streams from my studio have been hacker-free.  But I still have to stream the Qur'an from the mosque before the afternoon prayer, and my connection to the server and my other cell phone number keeps getting hijacked.  If the mosque had WiFi it would help, but they don't.  I'm clearly not a fence-sitter inshaAllah, but that list below is tough to navigate.  I could change my soap, after all, any soap works great when you wet it with bleach water.  I don't consume a lot of sugar, thus the bottle of Coca-Cola that's in my cooler has been sitting there unopened for a week now.  But that deodorant is the only one that works on these stinky armpits.  Sigh.  I want to smell like fresh strawberries.

Ain't no blondes around here

 

Hi Natty!  Thank you for your love!  I love you too!  I hope you are having a great time over there.  Are they dressing you up all sexy?  Please keep safe and healthy, my love.

People mostly all look the same around here.  I don't think this town will become inundated with blondes anytime soon.  But you never know.

Watch out for fake friends!

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

119.  Ah!  You are those who love them, but they love you not.  Though you believe in the whole of the Book, when they meet you they say, "We believe."  But when they are alone, they bite off the very tips off their fingers at you in their rage.  Say, "Perish in your rage.  Allah knows well all the secrets of the heart."

The Family of Imran 3:119

Burger! Burger! Burger!

 

Hi Natty!  How lovely it is to see you again, my beloved.  That is some nice jewelry too.  I want that droplet of water running down your chin.  I'll mix it in my shaved ice!  I hope you're keeping safe and healthy, Mrs. Global.  Don't worry so much, we'll be fabulous inshaAllah.  It's going to get busier, so just relax and pace yourself.

I had breakfast at the mosque yesterday.  I mean, I broke fast.  Someone brought in what they called "kebabs", which were really pitas stuffed with meat and sauce.  I made some burgers for my pre-dawn meal.  Well, not exactly burgers.  I'm really into tortillas right now, so I made quesadillas stuffed with ground beef, diced cashews and chopped Enoki mushrooms.  Here's what my "burgers" looked like:

Twice the fashion

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  How's the family?  Are having your brother wear that black hat too?

Some women manage to stay beautiful when they get older.  That didn't happen to Kate Moss, even though she can still get gigs.  Her doppelganger looks good, though.  Short but good.  It would be tough to find your lookalike, Natty.  They can't match that classic side profile.

Movie night

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  Yes it is fasting month, but don't worry so much.  The first week is usually tough, but afterwards it's not such a big deal.

It's movie night again!  Watch a movie with me!  "Nope" (2022).   This movie is a masterpiece.  I haven't loved every single minute of a movie since "Mulholland Drive".  I do want to point out an imperfection: no mice and no cats!  Every ranch has mice, thus every ranch has cats.  Right?  And cats would be very sensitive to Jean Jacket's activity.  I know: Jean Jacket ate them all.  It swooped down from the sky and picked off all the tiny mice and cats one by one without anyone noticing.

Not interested

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  I don't want those other girls!  I want my Natty!

Interested?

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  I miss your blue eyes.  I'm sure you are busy, so please keep safe and healthy.

I'm sure some of you folks have noticed my switch from cell phone Internet to fiberoptic.  Of course, Mary had a late start and only a 45 minute set yesterday.  But there were no interruptions, and the Twitch stream is actually watchable.  I would like to tell you the story of the transition.

At first, I tried to sign up online but cell phone Internet made it impossible.  Then I tried calling, but the calls didn't connect most of the time and when they did, the sound was fuzzy.  One party's phone texted back that it had received the call, and I texted that back by saying that I wanted fiberoptic Internet.  Then a human got involved, and we began the signup process.  I filled out the form by texting, but some crucial information kept on getting blocked when I sent it.  I had to use 2 phones to get the information through, one phone to distract while the other did the work.  That still wasn't enough, so I had to tell the lady (over a fuzzy connection) to complete the form for me.  Obviously she was aware of the hidden enemies and helped me compensate, because here I am now on fiberoptic Internet.  The moral of this story is that your cell phone company is a traitor, folks.

Al-Fatihah

 

Hi Natty!  How are you?  I hope you are doing well.  I am preparing for Ramadan which starts tomorrow.  I am sure you remember that I asked you to memorize this prayer in Arabic by the time we marry inshaAllah, and I am sure you have already done so.  Please keep safe and healthy.

So it is Ramadan tomorrow.  Fasting for Ramadan is for Muslims only.  So if you folks were not Muslims, then don't fast for this occasion.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

135.  Say, "Each one is waiting.  Wait you therefore, and soon shall you know who it is that is on the straight and even way, and who it is that has received guidance."

Ta Ha 20:135

Why hurry

 

Hi Natty!  How are you feeling today?  Darn mood swings, huh!  I get those too, usually when I eat something it goes away.  That works for me though, because I only eat twice a day.  Don't worry Honey, everything will work out great for us inshaAllah.  Keep safe and healthy.

I finally got a few extra bucks that I can dump a cell phone account and go fiberoptic Internet.  It's going to squeeze my monthly budget, but I seem to be the only one who has respect enough for my work to finance it.  This includes the Qur'an.  At first I tried to sign up online, but the cell phone Internet made it impossible.  That figures, huh.  Then I called the number on the sign in the photo below.  After a few sketchy exchanges of messages, I gave that up.  Yes, the ad posted over the loan shark ad on a tree in a jungle.  I suppose I have to go to the office downtown tomorrow.  What's the rush, anyway.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

183.  They said, "Allah took our promise not to believe in a messenger unless he showed us a sacrifice consumed by fire."  Say, "There came to you messengers before me with clear signs and even with what you ask for.  Why then did you slay them, if you speak the truth?"

The Family of Imran 3:183

Lightning in a bottle

 

Hi Natty!  Here's looking at you too, Honey!  I hope you're having tons of fun being the most beautiful girl in the world.  That's because you're MY girl and I love you with all of my heart.  Please keep safe and healthy OK!

Eruption could have been a legendary band.  The boys were polished and groovy, and in Precious Wilson they had the ultimate chick singer.  She sounded awesome, she had energy and charisma and was so beautiful, light shined out of her armpits.  But she left the band to pursue a solo career, and that was the end of Precious and Eruption.  Precious still performs today, but the lightning in a bottle was all their time spent opening for Boney M.  They should have stuck together.  Precious was very precious indeed.  Perhaps it's not too late for you and the boys to get back together, and pick up the energy and power where you left off in this concert back in 1977.  Try not to give in to the hits, but don't change who you were or the direction you were headed.  Book yourselves into blues and jazz clubs, then stream.

The Simp epidemic

 

Hi Natty!  How are you today, Honey?  I'm sure you are having tons of fun being a glamorous supermodel.  When you have to dress sexy, don't act sexy.  Act confident, and to do that you must focus on being yourself.  Keep safe and healthy over there.

Those girls on Only Fans do DIY porn, right?  Finding a wife in real life has become expensive and impossible for a man nowadays.  It's not that all men have become broke, it's the connection to women that has become increasingly tedious and unrewarding.  A man might as well give his heart (and money) to online porn.  Now more than ever, getting a wife is a religious pursuit.

Long live rock

 

Hi Natty!  It's wonderful to see you again, my love.  Yes, you have beautiful eyes!  Blue eyes, what a dream girl.  I hope you are keeping safe and healthy in your business.  Make sure you take care of your body, once you let it go then it's gone.  Keep solid as a rock.

Movie night

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  Whoever is controlling the pictures on your Instagram is trying to make me think that you're cowering in your hidey hole, while I'm convinced that you are busy working, having a great time, and being more beautiful than all those other girls.  It would be best if you'd update your content regularly.

It's movie night again!  Please watch a movie with me.  "Joe Dirt" (2001).  I didn't see this movie when it first came out because it looked like a bad movie.  23 years later I watch this movie for the first time and yes, it is a bad movie.  Oh, I guess it's not that bad.  It's like a really really really long SNL skit, and I didn't laugh.  It does have some clever ideas: "Kicking Wing" is a great name for an Indian.  And it's full of stars!  What kind of budget did this movie have, or was it all about influence?  Is that really Margot Robbie?  How old is she now?  "The story of my life" story has become really tiresome to me, and made especially cheap by stuffing it into one episode.  I will never put out an autobiography.  Let them lie like they will anyway.  I do have one final question about this movie: is Brandy his sister?

Look at me society

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  Wherever you may be, I hope you are having a wonderful time.  You are the most beautiful girl in the world to me, and I love you with all my heart.

Why are birds prettier than humans?  Yeah vultures aren't pretty but for the most part, birds are prettier than humans.  Come to think of it, cats are prettier than humans too.

How to toss a pizza

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  Now keep heart, Honey.  Have faith in God and our love.  Sure it's crazy out there but don't you worry about a thing, because everything will work out fabulously for us inshaAllah.  Just enjoy the ride, and make some big bucks along the way.  Don't get greedy though!

I've been into tortillas lately, and I find myself tossing the dough like pizza.  Beats using a rolling pin.

Is it real?

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  What!  I'm the Fashion King?  Alhamdulillah!  Glory to Allah!  That makes you the Fashion Queen, Natty.  Please be modest, and don't get greedy.  You can be my kitty too, Anna Wintour.  Go sit on the throne, and I will pet you.  No heavy petting!

That video above is very interesting, and I have experienced similar events more frequently than you might think.  Let's go with logic.  First, the video is fake.  Second, the sports event is rigged.  Next, the person who posted the message got excited and correct.  Beyond logic is a time warp.  The Qur'an speaks a few times about time warps.  And why not?  Time change is used often in music.  The more we know, the less we know.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

77.  Have you not turned your vision to those who were told to hold back their hands but establish regular prayers and spend in regular charity?  When the order for fighting was issued to them, behold!  A section of them feared men as or even more than they should have feared Allah.  They said, "Our Lord!  Why have You ordered us to fight?  Would You not grant us respite to our term near?"  Say, "Short is the enjoyment of this world.  The hereafter is the best for those who do right.  Never will you be dealt with unjustly in the very least!"

The Women 4:77

Fashion!

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  Don't lose your modesty, Honey.  Don't get greedy.  I haven't blogged about fashion for a long time.  I guess they shouldn't have shut me out while I had the momentum, now I'm occupied with other things.  They're probably holding my girl hostage, that's why she doesn't talk to me.  I did receive another email from Anna Wintour herself, and again I thought it was spam so I deleted it.  It was an invitation to Vogue World Paris.  I told her I couldn't make it but I would watch the show if she lets me.  She needs to remind me, though.

Anyway, on to outfits.  I suppose you could wear both outfits to a dance club, or to Vogue World even.  The baby outfit is what I would describe as "eccentric celebrity" getup.  Or just plain weird.  The world is a stage!  The outfit below is OK, leaning towards boring.  And yes, if you're going to a dance club then you should dress like a slut.  Otherwise, just ask your parents to find you a mate.  And if you expected all people on the Internet to treat you with respect, then you're just plain stupid.

But you can impregnate!

 

Natty, where are you?  Please talk to me because I love you.  If you folks are wondering why the locals don't help me, it's because I don't marry their women.  This is not a blessing.  It wouldn't be a blessing whether I did or didn't do what they want.  They fail to understand the nature of my work and only see the Dunia.  First of all, I have very little lust left.  Isn't that obvious?  Just leave me to marry who I want.  You would be more upset if I married your daughter then never touch her.  Another thing is that I know what will happen to you Natalie, if I took another wife.  I didn't want to bring this up, but it looks like I'm forced to.  If I took another wife, it would destroy your work.  It would be like cutting off your arms and legs.

Damon Imani does some great montages.  I was taken by his skit on the WEF.  I appreciate the comedy, but I really thought he had the balls to fight the "rent-to-live" globalist economy and not be just another spineless comedian.  The subscription model is interest upon interest rearranged, and is especially evil when applied to farming.  As for Dylan, I find myself agreeing that he's an actor capitalizing on current trends.  But I'm sure there are many girls out there who want his seed.