Letter to Julia 20140412

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my dearest wives.  You are the most beautiful in the world.  You should have noticed by now that it doesn't matter if you go out all the time or just stay at home, your advertising has been done for you, mashaAllah.  So don't try too hard to be noticed.  I will marry you inshaAllah, so you already have that settled.  So work on those other skills.  Like accounting, cooking, database management, soldering, phone and Internet sales, and I also need someone to hit the "record" button when I do a take... all the stuff I can't do!  Well, I can cook a little.  I really love black sole.  It's so sweet.  After I filleted what I needed for sushi, I deep fried the rest.  It made a nice crispy fry, great with plain old salt and pepper.  Anyway, don't try too hard to be noticed.  You'll get as much PR done just staying home and watching TV, inshaAllah.  It's like Floofy, whether she stays inside or goes outside, she's still pregnant.  It's all part of the business of marriage.  Our marriage.  Don't forget to hide your beauty, you beautiful thing you.  As for me, I want your chastity and integrity.  Also please stay fit and healthy, don't get any tans, and be as blonde as humanly possible at all times.  That's what I like.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Remember when you were 18?  That wasn't too long ago for you, but you've traveled so far since then, so it must seem like light years away.  I was loathed in high school, but I was done with that and packed full of libido and on my way to USA.  Now I don't have as much libido left, but I am ready to settle down.  InshaAllah.