Funny Thing

 

Hi Grace.  It's awesome that you're on the billboards in NY and LA!  Wasn't it both the State Dept and YouTube that made you ambassador?  They're not supporting you, Honey.  YouTube is fulfilling an agenda made with the US government.  I'm sure you know that.  Your responsibility is to do a good job.

It's OK to be afraid!  But don't be afraid of people, be afraid of God.  Hide behind me when you're afraid.  Since I can't be there, then bring your guitar with you wherever you go.  Tell them I told you to do so.  Use it as a weapon if you have to.  Don't let anybody touch your guitar.  Make sure you have strap locks!  Ya Allah, please protect my Grace.

I asked Anna Wintour to offer you a subscription to Vogue.  Please accept it.  It shouldn't be too expensive, and you need to study the ads.  Also please exercise, don't assume your body will keep its shape, it needs to be maintained.  Letting your body go to fat is unprofessional.  I hate to scold you on this and post a picture of your behind (actually, you're the one who posted this photo), but you didn't listen to me the first time when I told you to take care of your body.  You can bet your ass that I'm going to nag you about your looking after your body.  Especially now you're becoming more high profile.  Pump iron to pump away the fear.  Stop eating sugar.  Work out your butt and shoulders.  Both you and Esi need to work out.  You're in showbiz!

"Them Changes" is a good song, but my favorite Thundercat tune is "Funny Thing".  I'm sure many people agree with me.  It's so danceable!  He can't seem to get the same vibe live, though.  That bass line tells a story, which matches the lyrics.  Listen closely to it.  The story is, "Oh boy, oh boy, oh boink!  Oh boy, oh boy, oh boink?  Oh boy, oh boy, oh BOINK!  BOINK!  BOINK!  BOINK!  BOINK!  BOINK!"  Anyway, the original version is too short.  Less than 2 minutes?  Are you kidding me?  So some guy pastes together a 10 hour mix of "Funny Thing", and it's absolutely great!  You and Esi can dance to it the whole 10 hours.  That would be a good workout.

The sick dog

 

Did you give up the funk, Grace?   Don't turn your mother up!  She does your makeup!  

Congratulations on your Opry debut.  You are well on your way to being the next Taylor Swift, if that's what you really want.  That's a gorgeous photo of you in front of the mirror.  You look absolutely stunning in that glitzy mini dress, and your performance sounds awesome.  I look forward to watching it on YouTube.  Don't worry so much about numbers, Grace.  Focus on creating excellent original music.  You have plenty of time to perfect your vision, and you have people who love you and give what they have for you so you don't have to suffer for your vision.  This is more important than numbers.  Please be grateful to God for what you have.  P.S. Love the cake!

It's a shame that you had to replace Eric.  He's a great bass player and has great enthusiasm on stage.  I'm sure you will get the lineup you need, just be patient and keep working at it.

Carl Jung was a sick dog.  A sick dog that a boss kept hidden in a box in the mansion.  Someone freed the sick dog, and it made the cattle sick.  Jung believed in the unseen but he refused to have faith in God.  What a waste of intelligence.  God guides whom God wills.  Jung is dead now, so he knows for sure.

Two fingers

 

I got the funk, Grace.  Do you have the funk?  You gotta have that funk.  We got the the funk.  Give up the funk.  Are you sure you have the funk?  You might not really got the funk.  Just give up the funk.  Don't bother with the funk.  Do a square dance.

All the video of guitar shredders made me think of Django Reinhardt.  He only used 2 fingers, and he played an acoustic guitar.

Guitar

 

Hi there, beautiful Grace!  Keeping busy?  Welcome to your world!  Please get adequate rest, and pray.  I'm doing OK over here.  I've been trying to get a perfect vocal take from Mary for the song "Gyrlie Roxtar".  I might as well get a kid from the elementary school down the road to sing it: Mary might be too old for this song.  One element that Mary doesn't have in her voice is innocence.  It's all tears, tears, tears.  Wah, wah, wah.  In the end, she gave me an OK take, now I have to edit it to make it sound better.

Ah guitar!  Jared Dines put together a list of shredders on YouTube that you should check out, Grace.  Jared said it right in the intro: gone are the days of guitar heroes, now everyone can shred.  Which may explain why guys like Slash are turning to the blues.  Well, there's guitar everywhere now.  And the problem with everyone playing fast is that they all sound the same.  Even Jared's favorite, the guy at the end of the video, is just a modified piano player who doesn't look good in a dress.  People have been playing fast on the piano for centuries already.  In the end, these guitarists can only play with themselves, because no singer would ever want to work with them.  Perhaps Jared could get them together for a yard party, and they can play dodge ball.

Thailand

 

You're proud of that wah part, aren't you Grace?  It is skillfully executed.  But I'm sure you have more than one funk tune to write.  Did you know that funk turned into disco?  Are you trying to make them dance?  Lol do you dance?  I wanna dance with you, Grace!  Anyway, check out the disco tune below.  It needs wah, probably.

The border to Thailand is only about half an hour casual drive north of my house.  Many Siamese live locally.  Thailand has the highest percentage of transsexuals of all the world.  I discovered the singer above on YouTube maybe 10 years ago.  I have no idea what happened to the singer since.

India

 

Grace Bowers and the Hodge Podge is at the Underdog, August 6!  Someone please record the show so I can watch!

Competition is everywhere.  Check out the duo in the video above, Grace.  Does it somehow remind you of you and Mary?  I don't know who the singer is.  She's obviously a skilled Hindi chick singer, and there's a lot of that in India.  The bass player is Mohini Dey.  She's a world class bassist.  Sure she can play a million notes a minute, but she's world class.  Search the name Grace, and you will find just how incredible she is.  

You will also find that she has jammed with pretty much everyone, just like you.  That kind of social musicianship is something you have that I don't.  I'm sure you have valid motivation, but I simply don't have the nature for that kind of effort.  Most people would say that it's definitely better than dying a frog's death out here in the sticks.  We are all less than road kill: God is the One Who makes life sacred.  And the biggest difference between good and bad people is that good people give away the good stuff, while bad people give away the bad stuff.  Ironically, I wish I had found my reclusive nature when I was a younger musician.  I would probably had become more social.

Anyway, modern India is another thing I can't relate to.  The India I'm familiar with is more along the lines of the video below.

Funk begins with the bass

 

Hi Grace!  Staying busy?  Make sure you get adequate sleep, Honey.  No dreams, no music.  I tried to listen to that interview, but it wouldn't come up for some reason.  I'm sure you did well, you are great at interviews.  It's silly that they made you do a sexy pose in that outfit.  You might as well have worn your "Register to Vote" t-shirt.  Sexy poses aren't your thing, Grace.  I love you just being you.

I hope you're always thinking about music while you're doing all this busy stuff.  It's because you need to write music.  Do you think in music?  You must always think in music, Grace.  Sit in silence, what music is playing in your head?  Think in guitar riffs and melodies no matter what you're busy at.  I always write bass and drums first.  Funk must always begin with the bass, I don't care what George Clinton may say otherwise.  When you write funk riffs, start with the bass line.  Only after that do you add your wah.

I really like this outfit on Mary.  It's tough to get every outfit perfect, but this one totally suits her.  Mary's style is simple, folks.  It's called "More Feminine Than Thou".