Letter to Julia 20141118

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Life is not supposed to be easy.  It's not supposed to be fair, it's not supposed to be perfect.  You know this.  One thing is for certain, is that Allah will test your faith.  It is up to you to be patient and persevering, for if you despair, it means you never had any faith to begin with.  I can tell you that Allah has granted you great beauty.  I can see this.  You have what most other women desire, so give thanks to Allah.  You also have what most men crave, so please take appropriate behavior to protect yourselves.  When we are married inshaAllah, I will help to protect you, but until then please take loving care of yourselves.

I want to remind you that it is very lonely at the top.  Very, very few people will understand your problems.  But you are at the top.  So accept your fate, and deal with it.  This is a spiritual game you're playing now, so be aware of it.  Don't let people sway you, and they will always try.  They may claim that they will bear your faults, but they can't.  You are in spiritual reality now: you are responsible for your own soul.  With Allah as my Witness, I am with you, and I am faithful.  So please be patient, and pray.  Put your trust in Allah, be vigilant, and do the best you can.  Julia and Erin, you are my wives inshaAllah.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Urgh... I was impatient with my fried calamari, but I was hungry.  I had too little oil, and too much calamari.  It didn't matter that the oil was super hot.  It didn't turn out perfect.  A combination of eating too much and imperfection.  Next time, I'll be more patient.  Urgh again.

Letter to Julia 20141116

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my beautiful Julia and Erin!  How are you feeling today, my dearest wives?  I pray that you are feeling great, and having a great time.  I've been staying at home most of the time, because I had to stay within my budget.  My bamboo shoots stew turned out quite well.  I flavored it with salted fish and anchovy bouillon, then added onions, garlic, seaweed, a pinch of rice, julienned kaffir lime shoots, and some krill.  It must be somewhat OK, because it earned me "A Snort and a Scowl" award from my mother, the most competitive cook on the planet.  I love you, Mom!

Hey Erin, don't stand so close to that guy.  You don't have to be so close to him to fit into the picture.  You know as well as I do that even normal lens have a fairly wide view, that you can be about a yard away from him.  Even in the middle of a dense crowd.  I want you to start carrying an umbrella with you, so you can be at least an umbrella's length away from strange guys.  It would also be handy to whack people with, if the need arises.  When we marry inshaAllah, I intend to keep you and Julia with me at all times.  If I have to go pray at the mosque, you will be coming with me.  I might even take you with me to throw out the garbage.

On a more serious note, I want to remind you that we are a Muslim family.  So please do not give your endorsement to enemies of God (atheists, pagans, satanists, etc).  Julia and Erin, you are my wives inshaAllah.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20141116

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

84.  If any do good, the reward to him is better than his deed, but if any do evil, the doers of evil are only punished of their deeds.

85.  Verily God Who ordained the Qur'an for you, will bring you back to the Place of Return.  Say, "My Lord knows best who it is that brings true guidance, and who is in manifest error."

86.  And you did not expect that the Book would be sent to you except as a Mercy from your Lord.  Therefore, lend not your support in any way to those who reject.

The Narrations  28:84-86
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My Lord knows best who it is that brings true guidance, and who is in manifest error.

Letter to Julia 20141113

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Ach!  I'm sorry my writings have been sparse as of late, but I'm afraid I'm flat broke right now.  Kitten overruns.  It can't be helped, because these kittens are celebrities, so I have to treat them as best as I can.  They're so beautiful, Julia, Erin.  Especially when they look up at you all together.  Assorted kittens of different flavors.  Truly I am a sucker for beauty.  So I'm kind of paralyzed until the 21st, when I can start spending again.  I'm going to have to drop a bunch of coins at the Internet cafe.  Even so, not much.  Please forgive me.

I still have a lot of steak left over fromt the last Eid, and beef goes a long way.  Plus I have a sack of onions, some eggs and flour, so for dinner tonight is steak, egg and sauteed onion burritos.  Big fat ones.  I fried up the onions in last night's pizza sauce, so the onions carry most of the flavor, so I don't need mayo or hot sauce or anything like that.  I do have a lot of bamboo shoots, so I'm going to have to eat that.  I have one last block of noodles and after that, I'm going to have to make my own noodles.  There's nothing all that special about home made noodles.  Noodles are noodles.  Fresh noodles have to be used immediately.

Hey I hope you are having a great time, and feeling great.  I look forward to seeing you, and how beautiful you are.  Please take good, loving care of yourselves.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20141113

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

71.  Say, "Do you see?  If Allah were to make the night perpetual over you to the Day of Judgement, what god is there other than Allah, who can give you enlightenment?  Will you not then hearken?"

72.  Say, "Do you see?  If Allah were to make the day perpetual over you to the Day of Judgement, what god is there other than Allah, who can give you a night in which you can rest?  Will you not then see?"

73.  It is out of God's Mercy that God had made for you night and day, that you may rest therein, and that you may seek of God's Grace, and in order that you may be grateful.

The Narrations 28:71-73
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Do you see?  If Allah were to make the night perpetual over you to the Day of Judgement, what god is there other than Allah, who can give you enlightenment?  Will you not then hearken?

Do you see?  If Allah were to make the day perpetual over you to the Day of Judgement, what god is there other than Allah, who can give you a night in which you can rest?  Will you not then see?

Letter to Julia 20141110

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Ah!  I'm pleased to announce that my home made halal beef sausage was a resounding success.  My sausage and basil pizza was like from heaven.  And the beauty is that there's no pig in it!  I put my beef sausage up against any Chicago pizza.  I once met an heir of a Chicago sausage maker back while I was at the pizza joint.  I won't mention the family name, but if one were to hear it then one would think to oneself, "That's the family name of a sausage maker for sure."

Mystery of the Worms: the stool of my kittens have been soft recently.  I thought that it was stress from the intense weather lately, then I saw white specks in the stool.  I took a closer look, and the white specks were wriggling!  I went to the vet first thing this morning, but how did those worms get there?  They don't go outside the house.  They eat only cat food.  The sand didn't have any worms in it.  Their mother had a worm shot.  Sure they like to put things in their mouths and play with it, but my house has never been so clean: the little brats make me mop everywhere at least twice a day with bleach.  Well, like Sherlock Holmes said, "If you rule out the impossible, what's left is the solution."  It's either the sand or the cat food.

Of course the first type of people you would find on the Internet are the perverts.  I especially hate the perverts that pass themselves off as intellectuals, when sexual perversion is a base instinct.  Like a "De Sadean scholar" carries himself like a gourmet, yet we all know what it is he likes to eat.  Another thing Julia, is that I love your nose.  I told you before that I love your nose, and I don't want you to change it.  Julia, you have a beautiful nose.  It's a magnificent and regal nose.  If anybody tells you that you should change your nose, give me their names and I'll have them firebombed.  Just kidding!  Maybe.

Erin, I saw the list of models for the next VS fashion show, and your name wasn't there.  What!!  Where's my sweetie?  Are you perhaps doing a cameo?  Are you going to be masquerading as a rock star?  Are you going to be disguised as Todd Thomas?

Julia and Erin, you are my wives inshaAllah.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20141110

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

48.  But when the Truth comes to them from Ourselves, they say, "Why are not sent to him like those which were sent to Moses?"  Didn't they reject which were formerly sent to Moses?  They say, "Two kinds of sorcery, each assisting the other!"  And they say, "For us, we reject it all!"

49.  Say, "Then bring you a Book from Allah which is a better Guide than either of them, that I may follow it, if you are truthful!"

50.  But if they hearken not to you, know that they only follow their own lusts.  And who is more astray than one who follows his own lusts, devoid of guidance from Allah?  For Allah guides not people given to wrongdoing.

The Narrations 28:48-50
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Then bring you a Book from Allah which is a better Guide than either of them, that I may follow it, if you are truthful!