Letter to Julia 20140702

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my dearest darling wives.  You are so beautiful to me.  I want you to know that I care for you deeply, and that I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you.  It's been a cold Ramadan so far.  Right on the first day, the temperature suddenly dropped, while the day before was blistering hot.  It's starting to warm up slightly.  Maybe it's going to rain again.

I bought a red snapper over at the Tuesday market today.  Red snapper meat makes the best sushi: it's silvery transparent, and the flavor is transparent too.  The fish I bought had soft roe and liver too, so I was excited to have a midnight snack.  But bleah!  It was awful!  Such an expensive fish, too.  How can a such a great tasting fish have such ghastly roe and liver?  I had to spit it into the sink, and gargle out the bad taste.  What a waste of melted butter.  Mackerel roe and liver tastes much better.  But I'm saving the snapper head for stew.  Well, it's sushi for the predawn meal.  Red snapper with omelet, spring onions and crispy-fried snapper skin.  Would you like to join me?

Do you believe in my mission to please Allah with music?  Then it should be plain as day to you the international business that is my mission.  So like Mary in childbirth, I have to shake the palm tree a little.  Ya Allah, please grant the following: I need to be firmly established in this land.  Therefore, I need to be married to Julia and Erin and thus sustain my wives and family, so I need the land I live on and the adjacent land where my grandfather's old house stands to build a new house to suit Julia, a car and a truck, and sufficient income to sustain the marriages.  I need musical and computer equipment.  I need to perform my Hajj safely.  Of course, everyone wants what I need.  Did Allah grant them the knowledge to deserve as such?  Did Allah put them through the experience to deserve as such?  Glory to Allah.  Do the people want Allah to shake their tree?

There was an enormous tower somewhere which housed the music business, and attracted singers and musicians from all over the world, and I was one of them not too long ago.  It was a gigantic structure made of steel, concrete and glass, and even the furniture was made of steel. concrete and glass.  It described itself as a school, so for the purposes of this narrative we shall call it "The School."  The School taught aspiring singers and musicians how to throw away their inspiration, and make music The School's way.  I never took any classes.  On The School's grounds, there was constant brutality and murder.  There was an elevator in The School which when entered, a person's musical instruments would mysteriously disappear.  I lost my guitar in that elevator.  Apparently there is a secret door where you enter into a room with armed guards, and you had to beat them to near death to get any further.  The School held regular talent shows which were very big and glitzy, but the audience was an audience of contestants and their families.  The only genuine audience was me, standing at the doorway.  A former teacher at The School showed me how to stop the elevator to open the secret door, is by pushing both the up and down buttons at the same time.  But when I entered, after defeating the guard by hammering them with a big spoon, I found that all the musical instruments had been hocked to pay off The School's loans and bills.  All that was left was a cheap Japanese fretless bass which no one wanted.  Eventually The School couldn't turn a profit, and was demolished.  I searched the rubble for anything to scavenge, but all I could find was Chee Cheah, my cat.  But The School hasn't disappeared.  There is a bigger and more sinister connection: its financial backers.

Letter to Julia 20140630

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

It's the first day of fasting, and I'm sitting here right after voice training, and about half an hour away from the Asr prayer, writing my love to my wives.  I'm exhausted.  How are you doing?  My voice doesn't come out when I'm exhausted so I drop notes, but I gritted my teeth and completed the 2 hour set.  I hope you are eating properly.  I ate a whole pizza before dawn, so I was stuffed, and uncomfortable the whole morning.  It's raining right now, so the temperature is nice and cool.  Ya Allah, thank you for the rain.

Julia, this Ramadan will be the 5th anniversary of when I proposed to you.  I will always love you my dearest, beautiful Julia.  I pray that Allah will grant me the means to give you a secure and happy married life soon.  Thank you for your love and patience with me.  I was a bit scared yesterday, I thought the Archduke Franz Ferdinand was killed on July 22 but I was wrong: July 22 was a day before the ultimatum to Serbia was sent.  But whatever, our marriage is international and big business, mashaAllah.  InshaAllah our love won't start a global conflict.  My beloved, distinguished queen.  I love you, and I need you.

Hey Erin, you adorable little sweetheart!  How are you feeling, you gorgeous little darling?  My source tells me that you are starting some sort of free advice stop by the roadside.  I hope that it's Internet traffic that you're stopping.  I wouldn't want to have an armed mob gunning down anybody trying to touch you.  You be careful, OK?  Don't let yourself be corrupted or suckered.  Be the sweet and intelligent beauty with the heart of gold that I love so much.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140628

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my most precious Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today, my beautiful wives?  The most beautiful girls in the world.  You are MINE, MINE.  I pray you are feeling great, and on top of the world.  If you're planning to fast Ramadan, make sure you voice the intention to fast in your heart the day before by saying, "I hereby fast tomorrow the month of Ramadan of this year, for the sake of Allah, the Most High."  This must be done before they call the dawn prayer.  Then at sunset, it is recommended that you break your fast with a couple of dates or plain water, and say this incantation: "My thirst is quenched, my throat moistened, my fast is completed and I have received the reward, if Allah wills."  Again, when we are married inshaAllah, we will be fasting together, and it will be quite a social period.  I think it's great that I get to glorify Allah with music and thereby raise Islam over all religions while I'm still in this material world.  I'm only human though, and my time and strength is limited.  The inspiration has come to me, that your God is One God: whoever expects to meet his Lord, let him work righteousness, and in the worship of his Lord, admit no one as partner.

For dinner tonight is steak and oyster mushrooms.  Yes, it's tenderloin again, and oh so yummy.  I should have added more butter to the mushrooms for it turned out a little bitter, but nonetheless a perfect match with the sweetness of the steak.  Want some?  We're supposed to watch for the new moon before we start the first day of fasting, but it should be about Sunday.  I think I'll have a pizza before dawn on the first day.  Would you like to join me?  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20140628

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

103.  Say, "Shall we tell you of those who lose most in respect of their deeds?"

104.  Those whose efforts have been wasted in this life, while they thought that they were acquiring good by their works.

105.  They are those who deny the Signs of their Lord, and the fact of their having to meet God.  Vain will be their works, nor shall We, on the Day of Judgement, give them any weight.

106.  That is their reward, hell: because they rejected faith, and took My Signs and My Messengers as a joke.

107.  As to those who believe and work righteous deeds, they have for their entertainment, the Gardens of Paradise.

108.  Wherein shall they dwell: no change shall they wish for themselves.

109.  Say, "If the ocean were ink to the words of my Lord, sooner would the ocean be exhausted than would the words of my Lord, even if we added another ocean like to its aid."

110.  Say, "I am but a man like yourselves.  The inspiration has come to me, that your God is One God: whoever expects to meet his Lord, let him work righteousness, and in the worship of his Lord, admit no one as partner."

The Cave 18:103-110
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Letter to Julia 20140625

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Most people either are apathetic about or dread Ramadan becasue they don't get to stuff their faces whenever they feel like it.  My favorite part of Ramadan is the proliference of strange events that occur.  InshaAllah, it will a peaceful and happy Ramadan.  I don't particularly enjoy the life of a soldier, but I must be grateful of what Allah has given me.  What I desire is to be pretty like you but with a big dick, and to live in sensual and undisturbed pleasure with you.  But I'm going to have to wait, if Allah grants me a place in heaven.  I'm already quite tired, and Ramadan hasn't even started yet.  A lot of running around yesterday, and preparation.  And I need to cut the grass, and tend the yard.  Oh, the mundane.  I wish you were with me, in love and happiness in this life, as well as the Hereafter.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20140625

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

83.  They ask you concerning the Two Horned One.  Say, "I will rehearse to you something of his story."

The Cave  18:83
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I will rehearse to you something of his story.

Letter to Julia 20140624

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my most beautiful Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today?  How are those precious emotions?  Did you know that I love you, I love you?  And I need you, I need you?  Well, I do.  On the menu tonight is clams.  One and a half kilos of clams to be exact.  You're probably thinking, "Where do you put all those clams?"  Well, you don't eat the shells.  The clams were dried up, that's why they were cheap.  But the sauce tonight was awesome.  No salt!  Never use salt with clams.  Tonight the sauce is oil, garlic, chilli pepper paste, sugar, and tamarind juice.  Oh, so good!  Want some?  Oh, I'm sorry!  I ate it all!

Anyway, this Sunday begins the fasting month of Ramadan.  Muslims celebrate Ramadan like Christmas, except that it lasts a month, and we fast everyday for a month from dawn to sunset.  Would you like to try your hand at fasting Ramadan this year?  When we are married inshaAllah you will have to, so you might as well practice now.  I'm sure the world will notice if you do.  This means no eating, drinking, or sexual activity from dawn to sunset.  No swearing or picking your nose, either.  If you are on your period then you are exempted, but you will have to make it up later in the year before the next Ramadan.  I usually have a simple meal at sunset, and a big meal before dawn.  This is because there is an additional prayer at night, I don't want to have to use the bathroom.  Ramadan is also very social.  I love Ramadan: it's my most favorite time of the year, but I don't enjoy how social it is.  I'm sorry, but I'm reclusive.  When we are married inshaAllah, the village women would as expected take this opportunity to chat with you.  At any other time, I would be hovering around you like an angry guard dog to chase strangers away.  It's always a busy, busy month.