The smooth channel

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling today?  Weekends are busy for sports pros like you, so I pray that you are getting plenty of rest.  I love those snapshots that your fans put up yesterday.  You are very beautiful, and I love you.  But porn star?  I don't think so.  You're just a modest girl.  I do miss your posts, but we all understand why you are reluctant to express yourself lately.  Big business has long relied on our love.  Just make sure you at least express yourself to yourself, through art and poetry.  You don't have to show it to anybody.  If you think expression comes easily for me, it could be that I just don't give a shit.  But that's not true- I've been doing this rock and roll business thing for a very long time, so by trial and error I know where my smooth channel is.  InshaAllah.  Like it's been easier for Floofy to pass motion since I put her on a regimen of laxatives and soft food.  But she still gets clogged up: her poop is bigger than any other cat, I think she has an abnormal digestive tract.  So I keep a sharp eye on her tummy, I feel it up regularly rather, and I observe her poop habits.  If she's off rhythm, then it's time for an enema.  We just can't keep that poop bottled up in there.  It becomes poisonous.

Hi Natty honey!  I watched "Mamma Mia 2- Here We Go again" last night.  😁  It's a nice movie, and you are a very beautiful woman.  As for turning water into wine, well that's easy.  Get some grape seed, and plant it in fertile soil then water it regularly.  When it produces ripe fruit, you harvest it, collect it, stomp on it to produce juice, then ferment the juice to make a nice non-alcoholic wine.  If you do any agriculture, make sure you say "There is no power but with Allah".  But really Honey, water is more precious than wine.  Or instead, you can put a strip of bacon into the water, and it becomes swine.  Please don't drink stuff like that.  It's gross, and it's not halal.  😁

Sunday is BLACK!

The Market

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  I'm sure you are busy, jetting around from one place to another.  Well, please take care of your health and don't forget to pray.  This morning after my chores, I went out to buy a chicken.  There's a guy a couple of kilometers up the street on the way downtown that sells chickens for a decent price.  I just wanted the chicken, and some mosquito incense which I could pick up at a grocery store nearby.  But the guy wasn't open, so I had to go downtown to buy my chicken.  The big market downtown is busy as hell, as usual.  I should have brought my camera to show you.  As recent as 7 years ago, I could buy 2 kilos of mackerel for RM3, now it's RM10 for one kilo.  I don't buy much fish anymore.  I get my fish nutrients from anchovies nowadays.  Damn.  Now I want sushi.  Anyway, the main market had a great price on chicken, so I got myself a big, fat one.  I also bought some fresh tofu, and some scallions for fried noodles tonight.  It's so much cheaper to process a whole chicken than to buy just white meat.  I generally use the bones for broth, the wings and legs for BBQ, and I fried up the liver in the standard turmeric and salt seasoning with onions, and had that for lunch with a block fresh tofu.  Ah, there's nothing like fresh tofu.  It's probably better than bread or rice.  You want some?

Wow Natty, those Elle photos are steaming hot.  It's like you are oozing out sex and lust, and the best part is that you have so many clothes on.  Of course, I'm not referring to the raincoat promotion.  But you are definitely a beautiful and sexy woman.  I like those photos so much better than your baby pictures.  Natty you are so hot right now, you better start wearing lots of perfume all the time to hide the sex.  I mean it.

Sailor Moon

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  It's good to venture out of the house and have fun occasionally.  I mean, you are successful after all, and not only financially, so have some fun for heaven's sake.  I would like to protect you and keep you in the house all the time, but right now I want you to be happy.  Or you might turn out like me, bundled up in front of the TV watching nothing but Sailor Moon.  Actually, I don't do that.  But Sailor Moon is perfect for emotional creatures like us.  Of course I don't expect you to like everything that I like.  After all I'm not a sports fan, while sports is your business.  And I'm not trying to make a competition of watching Sailor Moon.  I am simply trying to increase the sustenance of my wife.  So you are too busy to really get into Sailor Moon, and that's fine.  By the way, that sketch looks nothing like you.  Your beauty is too complex and profound to be captured accurately other than photographs.

Hi Natty honey!  Oh, you are so excited!  You look beautiful in those magazine snapshots.  But black hair?  Please, no black hair!  Please don't change your hair! 😭  I am sure you realize by now that all this excitement and power is sexually arousing, so please stay away from boys.  If you want to watch Sailor Moon, and I strongly suggest that you do, please follow these instructions.  Focus on the Japanese versions with English subtitles.  You may find dvds of Sailor Moon in many places on the Internet, or you may want to follow the more difficult approach of networking for each episode, which is more socially and financially rewarding.  There are 5 seasons of the anime that are relevant to us: season one (also known as Sailor Moon), season two (SMR), season three (SMS), season four (SMSS) and season five (SailorStars).  Please watch the cartoons in this sequence, and turn up the volume:
1.  Sailor Moon
2.  SMS
3.  SMSS
4.  SailorStars
5.  SMR

Sailor Moon

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  I hope you know in your heart of hearts how much I love you, and I always try to talk to you as gently and tenderly as I can.  But it's time for you to go back to the gym.  Push that body into athletic shape, and kick away the doldrums.  Tighten up those arms and shoulders, don't let them bloat.  Get yourself a bully of a personal trainer.  I mean a real brute.  Let's get strong and fit.  I spent the evening on a ladder, cutting away at one of the plants growing on the roof of my grandfather's old house.  Boy, my legs are wobbly.  But I keep on pushing these legs while I can, to give them strength.  The food business really did a number on my legs, but I can still walk.  Alhamdulillah.

Hey there, Natty honey.  You may not know this, but we (which includes you) belong to an anime "cult" (for lack of a better word), called Sailor Moon.  Sailor Moon is an anime (Japanese cartoon) which first aired in 1992, which was derived from a manga (Japanese comic) created by Naoko Takeuchi.  How we got mixed up with Sailor Moon is when I began watching it over and over again, and became an avid fan.  1997, as I recall.  That was also when the Internet really started to gain momentum.  What's most relevant to us is the first 5 seasons of the Sailor Moon anime, which is episodes 1-200.  Watching all that is a HUGE undertaking, and I am not asking you to do it.  Watch that if you want to, and I ADVISE you to watch Sailor Moon.  It is our Japanese connection.

There is no such thing as "the perfect feeling"

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling?  Are you wanting to hide yourself again?  I think I know how you are feeling.  I suppose you are having trouble expressing yourself.  Your fans and friends try to communicate for you with good intent, but only you know the depth of your beautiful heart.  So keep on producing poetry, paintings and such.  Express yourself.  You don't have to show them to anyone.  You are unhappy.  As I told you before, there is no such thing as "the perfect feeling".  Not in this life.  The next life will be better, for the righteous soul.  Please learn to embrace the next best feeling, which is patience.  However, even unhappiness isn't absolute.  If you try hard and want it hard enough, you will find some sort of blessing in yourself that ruins the gloom.  Now don't you worry Honey, everything is going to turn out just great inshaAllah.  I will marry you inshaAllah.  We'll get there.  I love you.

Hey there, Natty honey!  You on the other hand, don't feel fear at all right now.  You are excited as can be, all this craziness is tons of fun, and it's kicking you upstairs.  Which is great, of course!  It is OK to be afraid, though.  Put your fear in God.  God can make the pits bearable.  Please pray.

Fire drill

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  I hope everything is going great for you, and that you are safe and happy.  It's a routine day for me.  Nothing special on the menu, either.  When you make plans for your house, I hope you think about escape routes in case of emergency.  Like getting out of the house easily, quick access to the children, etc.  Having an upstairs complicates things, but I guess we have no choice about that.

Hey Natty honey!  Are you busy?  I'm guessing that you are, because you are so popular now.  Beautiful girl!  Please be safe, eat properly, and get plenty of rest.  And don't forget to pray.

Please make a donation in the name of Allah of a minimum of one US dollar to a worthwhile charity

Hi Honey!  Are you feeling more relaxed today?  The weekends must be very hectic for a Sports Princess like you, so I hope you are taking your time to enjoy your success, and to get lots of rest.  It's Monday today.  Well, it's the same old day to me, I have to work everyday, but this morning I got done with my chores early, so I was able to take an early nap before voice training.  After this, I'll be heading out to the mosque to pray the night prayer with the congregation.  How are your emotions?  Don't be sad, because I love you and I will marry you inshaAllah.  Be optimistic, and pray.

Hey Natty honey!  You must be a busy girl.  But I suppose you do have your nights free.  I made BBQ chicken burritos with mushrooms for dinner.  I love the mushrooms that are available here.  Big, fat, juicy, meaty, fragrant, white oyster mushrooms.  They really blossom when the weather is wet.  I picked some up at the night market just now.  Cheap, too.  What are you having for dinner, anyway?  You don't show us your food.  I guess they have to pay for your endorsement, huh?