The Opening

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful



Hi Honey, how are you today.  I pray that you are doing well.  This is the first day of Ramadan.  I'm fasting today.  It's no big deal, but I do feel different.  We all get used to it.  I am waiting to break fast at sunset right now, and as I recall, this is the time I usually write to you during Ramadan.  Oh my love, I do so long to be married to you.  InshaAllah, the time is getting near, and security is getting stronger.  Please have faith in us.  I'll be having chicken and mushroom sandwiches for breaking fast.  I hope they're not too salty, I didn't get to taste them.  You're welcome to one if you want.

Hi Natty Honey, are you feeling restless?  Well settle down with a movie.  Yes, the computer wants you to watch a movie today.  I had a dream about you last night.  I dreamed that you and your siblings started a band and had a hit song on YouTube.  While I was cleaning closets.  That's the gist of it, a lot was going on in the dream.  It would be great if you had a hit song.   That would be something I may never do- I'm only good at staying underground.  Anyway, the computer wants you to watch "Die Another Day" (2002).  I think I asked you to watch this one already, I don't remember.  Please watch it again.

Shopping

Hi Honey!  Are you busy?  It's time to do some shopping, the fasting month begins tomorrow.  So grab your crash helmet, and sit behind me on the motorcycle, we're going to the supermarket.  Of course all the stores are open during Ramadan (not all the restaurants are, though).  But I know how to cook, so that takes up more of my time during the next month, which I have other stuff to do.  It's truly a blessing to know how to cook, alhamdulillah.  You should see the prices of cooked meals!  There's always less time during Ramadan, but I truly enjoy the fasting month.  The supermarket was crowded, as I expected.  It was so packed, I had to carry my basket above my head to get around all the shopping carts.  Good thing I don't need a cart since I can only carry so much on the motorcycle.  I had to get some vegetables, and ready-to-eat stuff.  Canned food.  But the diversity of canned food in this town is very poor, sardines and baked beans being on top of the food chain.  Pathetic, huh?  I have no choice, but to spend time cooking.  I'm just afraid of over sleeping, and not having time to cook.  I can't just eat salads, not with this body- my left side and shoulder will hurt all day.  I have to be stuffed full at dawn.  So I plan to cook the night before, and heat things up at 4 am.  Try to fit in some extra worship before the dawn prayer, then go back to sleep.  InshaAllah.  It should be possible.  After all, I will be giving up coffee for a month.

Hey Natty Honey!  Hi, beautiful lady!  Oh don't get suddenly shy of the crowd, and go into hiding.  You have work to do and lots of money to make, so get it while you can.  What's for dinner?  I was planning on making chicken and mushroom sandwiches, but my Mom gave me some fried rice instead.  I had some chicken breast marinading in soy sauce and sugar, but I had to put that back in the freezer and cook it up for tomorrow's dinner.  I stopped by McDonald's on the way to the supermarket just now.  Got a vanilla cone.  Want one?

Mystery girls

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling today?  I hope you are feeling great, and having a great time with your life.  Isn't it great to feel great?  I feel great when I'm lazing around, and having a slow old time.  That's because I'm lazy.  But today, I had to do chores of course.  But after the morning chores, I sat in front of the grill for an hour and grilled some chicken.  Ah, BBQ chicken.  What a scent!  What a taste!  I'm getting my BBQ chicken down to a science, and there's few greater pleasures than BBQ chicken hot off the grill, eaten at the grill.  Oh sorry Honey, no snapshots.  This is the last time for a month that I can eat grilled chicken.  Fasting month in 2 days.  And BBQ chicken is no fun when cold.  In the evening, I had to cut the grass.  There's about a 10 day window on the grass in my front yard before it looks like hell again.  Grass sure grows fast in this country.  But I had to get the yard looking nice for the start of Ramadan.  Well, comparatively nice.

Hi Natty Honey!  Hi Mystery Girl!  Who are these mysterious beauties?  Today the computer wants you to watch another James Bond movie.  "Thunderball" from 1965.  I think Sean Connery was the best Bond.  Actually, all the Bonds were good in their own way.  Except Timothy Dalton.  I hated him as Bond.  This movie kind of goes with the moment right now- everything's underwater....

Uh oh

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling today?  I hope you are getting used to who you are and who you have become.  It's certainly not VS!  It's been a poopy kind of day for me.  That's right- Floofy got constipated again.  I don't know what it is about her tummy, but she generates human sized poop.  And when she eats the cat food pellets, her poop becomes hard.  I changed her diet to rice and canned cat food, but I added a few pellets of the ordinary stuff to the mix because she was getting diarrhea.  But I suppose she can't have any of the ordinary stuff whatsoever, because she got stopped up again.  It wasn't as advanced as it was the last time, but you can feel that hardness in her if you pressed down on her tummy.  Of course I got frantic.  I love my kitty.  Laxative doesn't work on that stuff, so I had to give her an enema.  The vet gave me some extra enemas, the problem is how do I give an enema to a struggling cat?  I only have 2 hands.  So I grabbed her by the scruff of her neck with my left hand, pinned the tip of her fluffy tail with my jaw to my chest, and chased her butt hole around with the nozzle of the enema.  I spilled a lot of the fluid, but I got a good amount in there and it was enough alhamdulillah.  Dear God, that poop was BIG.  And hard.  I showed the poop to her, but she refused to look at it.  It was as big as a kitten!  It was bigger than a kitten!  Floofy, this came out of your butt!

Hi Natty Honey!  Are you having tons of fun?  Are you making lots of money?  You might turn into a fat cat if you're not careful.  Well, God bless you, and I love you.  Please give thanks to Allah.  Make lots of money while you can, but be sure to take care of your health.  Eat properly and gets lots of rest.  God gave you natural beauty, so look after it and don't try to change it.  Grow old with dignity.  Start young.

Express yourself

Honey, are you having difficulty expressing yourself?  In light of what happened, I can understand your fear.  But whatever it was certainly was not your fault, so please don't blame yourself.  You are who you are, and you are my wife inshaAllah, and I love you.  Your Instagram is power to you, now more than it ever has been, so you might as well post.  Don't allow your voice to be suppressed.  More people need you and love you than you know.

If you would come be with me on Second Life, then I will give you my email, so you can talk directly to me.  If you were there with me, then I would have no need for an apprentice.  Gwen is strictly for business use, entertainment business.  Meet me in Second Life, and you will know for certain that this is true.

How's it going with you, Natty?  Happy Mother's Day, by the way.  I love you, Mom!  My Mom had to tell me it was Mother's Day.  I have trouble keeping up with public holidays and the like.  I can remember birthdays and anniversaries inshaAllah, but otherwise it's all the same old day to me.  Please forgive me for my flaws.  The fasting month of Ramadan begins on Thursday inshaAllah.  If you didn't know what fasting is as it pertains to Islam, fasting is no eating, drinking, sexual activity, and swearing, from dawn to sunset, for the sake of God.  Don't pick your nose, either.  I'm not telling you to fast, Honey.  Wait until we get married.  Fasting during Ramadan is pointless if you're not a Muslim.

Patience

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling today?  Do you like being the center of attention?  I guess it depends on your mood: sometimes you do and sometimes you don't.  To me, it's all the same.  I don't even pay attention to stuff like that anymore.  In fact, I only look in the mirror to trim my nose hairs (I can't sing with those damned hairs vibrating).  I guess I want my Erin.  I want my wives.  By then, I guess I would to start dressing sharper.  As for right now, my avatar is well-dressed and looks great on my behalf.  Avatars are really quite useful.  What are you having for dinner?  I shouldn't have had that salad for lunch yesterday.  I normally eat only 2 meals a day, and since I had a salad for lunch, my left shoulder and side was aching all last night, even though I had a couple of burgers for dinner.  It wasn't until I ate the leftover noodles in the morning that the pain went away.  I definitely have to eat big for the early morning meal during the fasting month.  And chug lots of water.

Hi Natty Honey!  Oh, you're so pretty!  It must be awesome to be you.  Today the computer wants you to watch another movie: "Beetlejuice" from 1988.  Oh, them ghostly marriages!  I estimate that I have about 7 dead women in me.  Dead singers, mashaAllah.  So I guess you would have to expect a few ghosts in your marriage to me.  Makes life exciting, I guess.  You get used to it.  It's an everyday thing for me.  The other day, I was browsing for a bar of soap when some bars of soap were knocked off the shelf for me.  So I bought that brand of soap.  Good choice, too.  The Qur'an is very handy at dealing with the supernatural inshaAllah.  I suppose it depends on one's level of knowledge and sincerity.

The Drum

Hi Honey!  Sorry I'm running a little late today, I got carried away working on my drum.  I hope you are doing OK, and keeping calm.  People are behaving rather frenzied with all this political activity lately, I anticipate you must be trying to hide.  Don't be afraid of people, Honey.  Put your fear in God.  God is the only One Who can adequately protect us and grant us happiness.  I have to admit that I'm a little agitated and irritated with people's behavior, but eventually my experience will get a hold of me again and I will calm down.  That's one good thing about growing older, is experience.  I've been a musician for 39 years already.  Yikes!

Isn't that your Mom's age, Natty Honey?  Almost, I bet.  So what's for dinner today?  What are you having?  Guess what I had for lunch today... a salad!  Yes, I stopped to buy some greens, picked up some spinach, and got more for my money than I expected.  I was going to put it in my ramen, but I had so much that I decided to make a salad instead.  A spinach salad with eggs and onions, using Heinz's Salad Cream.  I don't usually eat salads, but I can make a good salad because I used to make them all the time at the pizza joint.  Dressings, and all.  Want some?

Oh I finally finished my drum!  I have it  tuned up and all.  Yes, those are cable ties you see.  I'm so happy with it!  It's so loud... it sounds like thunder, the entire spectrum of thunder.  I need someone to play it for me, so I can go outside and hear what it sounds like from far away.