Big ol' clams!

Hi Honey!  How was your day today?  Nothing out of the ordinary for me, just a lot of housecleaning.  Yeah it has to be done, but if you want to keep me in a good mood you would keep me away from housecleaning.  I was about to finish off the chili for dinner, but I found these huge clams over at the night market!  That made me smile.  If you want to gauge the size of each clam, that's my hand they're resting on.  I've been steaming them for 20 minutes already, I guess at that size they are pretty hard to kill.  I don't want to overcook them though.

Hi Natty honey!  I'm glad to see you happy.  Your happiness makes me happy, and I hope you are happy with me.  Happiness is a glimpse of happiness.  Happiness is no housecleaning.  Happiness is big ol' clams!  I hope I cook them right...

 

Mexican food

Hi Honey!  How are you?  I pray that everything is going nice and easy for you.  Well, life certainly isn't the same as it was 4 years ago.  Your perception and influence has expanded beyond your wildest expectations.  Which would be great, if not for all that rancid gossip.  Their stinky words can make ears smell bad.  I mean literally, ears can smell awful from their talk.  I like to clean my ears with a Q-tip dipped in rubbing alcohol to get rid of the stench.  At this stage of your business, what they want is your endorsement.  Or more accurately, what they want is to do whatever they want with your endorsement.  For example, a bigot hypocrite would not just want the money of your endorsement, but also to trash you and your endorsement.  So ignore them and whatever they say.  Screw 'em.  Now as my wife, you must take my instruction in matters of Islam and no one else, no matter who they are.  This is because if I make an error, then only I get the blame.  But if you make an error, we both get the blame.  So follow only what I tell you about Islam, and nobody else.  If you need to ask about Islam, then ask me.  Please.

Did you get that, Natty?  Follow only my instructions in matters of Islam, and nobody else.  All the globe trotting you've been doing must be very exciting for you.  Which is awesome, I say.  Get your travel kicks in before you marry, because the kids are going to root you into one spot for the kids' sake.  I happy that I don't need to travel to get my job done.  My food is stable, and I don't hurt my tummy.  I use only my own bathroom, and no one else's bathroom.  For dinner today, I had tortillas and extra hot chili.  It tastes great!  Alhamdulillah.  Here's a tip to keep the gas down from the beans: add coriander or cilantro seeds to the chili.

 

Me?

I belong to Allah.
Then I belong to my wives.

 

Avatar

Hi there, my beautiful Erin!  How are you feeling today, you gorgeous sweetheart?  It's the weekend again!  Wow, time sure flies... but God allows the time for everything inshaAllah, that's why we must be patient and steadfast.  You have to work weekends, right Sports Princess?  Well it's all the same old day anyway, at least we are together and will be together inshaAllah.  I saw the movie "Avatar" today.  Have you seen that movie?  It's like "Dances With Wolves", but set in an alien jungle.  It's like a confrontation between the godless and the pagans.  The CGI is breathtaking though, and those tall muscular girls are kinda sexy.  Don't those naked people worry about mosquitoes?  Sure there's a living connection to God in all life, but paganism is a rejection of God just like atheism.  Yeah that scientist said that it's a living connection not paganism, but they're worshiping a tree.  One might not immediately see a religious significance to avatars, but there is certainly one in my avatar- if I get to heaven, I will be pretty.  And super virile.

Why hello, beautiful Natty!  It's so good to see you again.  Ironically, I think it's safer for you to be doing beach sports with your buddies than to be in the city, even though I don't particularly agree with your running around naked in public.  I guess I just want my wife all to myself.  But be proactive about being safe OK, and please make sure your bosses provide extra security for you, because you are MY girl.  By the way, I think Trump is becoming fanatically superstitious.  That's why the elephant ban reversal.  Plus, did you know that his sons are safari bounty hunters?  As in pay out bounty.

Bat Cat 4

Speaking of Bat Cat, I knew he was going to get himself into trouble again.  He always gets himself into trouble.  He exists to get himself into trouble.  He gets himself into trouble on my account, and I get SO frustrated trying to help him.

Why bother with cats at all?  People who don't love cats just wouldn't understand.  I have a few times went without a cat, but they always come to me and I can't help loving them.  No it's a cat, not a beautiful blonde woman.  The first Bat Cat came to me as a 3 month old kitten one morning, crying out to me at the side of the road in the midst of the elementary school rush hour on the day of the Sandy Hook massacre.  I don't know where he is now, but he did survive to adulthood and independence.  The second Bat Cat died of pneumonia.  The 3rd Bat Cat died of pneumonia.  This 4th Bat Cat came to me as an adult, and is a very cautious cat.  He came around right after Bat Cat 3 died, and inspected all the spots the previous Bat Cat attended, including the cage I kept Bat Cat 3 in while I was doctoring him.  Recently Bat Cat 4 allowed me to touch him during feeding times, but otherwise he keeps his distance and runs away when I approach him.  It is clear that this Bat Cat will not allow himself to be caught by me, for whatever reason.  No I couldn't get a current snapshot.  He won't let me.  This is an old photo.

A couple of months ago, Bat Cat 4 was injured on his face, apparently from a rock or something being thrown at him, and his lower back which put his hind legs out somewhat and had trouble walking, probably from the impact of a broom or something.  He wouldn't let me near him let alone doctor him, I couldn't do anything about his back anyway but leave him alone to heal naturally.  Now he's caught a fungal infection from all the rain that's been coming down lately.  He needs medication, but how on earth will I be able to feed him a pill?  Over and over again until he heals?  I can't just leave him be, his body will rot and he will die a slow death.  Like I said, he recently allowed me to touch him during feeding times, so just now I caught him and tried to feed him an antifungal pill.  Oh my God, he fought the hell out of me.  I did manage to get the pill into his mouth, but I don't know if he swallowed it: I didn't see the pill on the ground, so I guess that's a good sign.  But the effort cost me what little trust he had in me: he stayed away and didn't touch his dinner.

I assume he will get hungry and come to me for food eventually, so I'm just going to have to sneak in some antifungal medicine into his cat food somehow, and pray that he eats it.  No I can't take him to the vet: assuming I would be able to catch him, he would maul both me and the vet.  I'm just going to have to mix the medicine in with his cat food.  He shares his food with Emma, so it looks like she is going to be eating antifungal medicine too.

Qur'an 20171116

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

66.  Say, "I am forbidden to invoke those whom you invoke besides Allah, seeing that the Clear Signs have come to me from my Lord, and I have been commanded to to bow to the Lord of the Worlds."

Forgiver 40:66
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No spending day part 2: the cheeseless pizza

Dearest Erin, I want you to know that I love you very much, and you are always in my heart and thoughts.  I know it's been a long time since I proposed to you, and I still can't afford to give you a ring and pay for our marriage, and by now you would have probably had children already if it were not for me.  I'm so sorry that I'm so poor, I hope my work and sacrifice has somehow enriched your business at the very least, while I beg of you to please be patient and have faith and pray that God will make our marriage happen soon.  Please forgive me for my flaws.

Dearest Natty, I'm so sorry I made a typo on your name the other day.  I didn't mean to do it, and when I discovered my error I immediately fixed it.  I assure you that I didn't do it on purpose, I wasn't trying to make a joke at your expense or anything like that.  I do have a cat named Batty, but if I ever talk about him please rest assured that I am in no way referring to you or making fun of you.  I take marriage very, very seriously, and your happiness very, very seriously.  I know how much you hate people making fun of you and talking bad about you behind your back, and I'm very sorry if you had to suffer that because of me.  Please forgive me for my flaws.

Why is it necessary that a pizza have cheese?  To please the general public's perception of what a pizza is I suppose, and a pizza does taste great with cheese.  When I worked at the pizza joint, I would often get orders for pizza without cheese.  Usually women would ask for that, or someone who is lactose intolerant.  But so what, if a pizza doesn't have cheese?  One can eat spaghetti without cheese, and have bread to go with it right?  One can enjoy chili with bread but no cheese, right?  There's no cheese on a mince pie.  There's no cheese on a pumpkin pie.  So for dinner, I had a sausage, fried onion and chive pizza without cheese.  Or shall I say a sausage, fried onion and chive pie?  It was delicious.  It was filling.  It was greasy.  Alhamdulillah.  Ya Allah, please forgive me for my flaws.