Letter to Julia 20110716

As for the house I live in now, it is far from ready for you. I have been focusing on the yard, but the interior still needs much work. The walls and window sills needs scraping and painting, the ceiling and roof need work, the bathrooms need work, the kitchen needs updating, there needs to be central air-conditioning installed, not to mention appropriate cat-proof furniture, etc etc etc. The yard takes a lot of my energy, as I hand-trim the grass, and am planting and tending more fruit and spice trees, and am constanly raking and burning. I barely have energy left to keep the insides tidy, and the spiders still rule the house. Then the outside needs painting too, and I'm still too poor to buy a can of paint. I dare not even let you look at the inside, I have to admit I have at least a few years left before I let you look at the interior.

I do enjoy the garden, though. The grass is long, because I don't use shears. But it only grows so high, so all I really need to do is remove the flower stems. The grass flowers are white and blue: one doesn't notice the blue unless one looks very closely. I also have many other white and blue flowers, but I don't know the name of the plant. I just help it spread and flourish. Among the grass are other white and blue flowers, some of them very tiny, and the balsam I sowed is finally growing and flowering, which coincidentally happen to be white and blue also. There are many curry leaf shrubs, but I had to prune most of them down because the quality was poor. There is a cashew and a mango tree up front, and I am adding more, along with some chilli plants, and a young bamboo of course, which will grow to be huge if I don't check it. I have an ancient fruit tree called an amra growing by the gate (which needs to be replaced). The fruit is a white, snappy, slightly sour flesh but it bears fruit all year long, and the skin tastes like it's packed with antioxidants. I also have a child of the amra which I keep in a flowerpot as a bonsai. There is a tropical cherry tree growing right beside the house. It's a very pretty tree, which gives a lot of shade, but only the songbirds can eat the fruit. There are some other shrubs with black stems and red fruits, I don't know what they are, but my Mom told me to keep them because the red fruits are high in vitamin C. Hmmm. But there is a large area of concrete where cars can park, so I don't have much space for more plants.

The back of the house is not so attractive, because the vegetation is immense. I'm doing what I can, but cleaning up the leaves is difficult, because of the preponderance of army ants. Yes ma'am, BIG red ants! If I dance around them then they leave me alone, but sometimes I need to hose down the concrete, and that makes them aggressive. There are 2 tall mango trees growing over the cesspool... I don't eat the fruit, but they do give out a wonderful scent during mango season. Beyond the cesspool is a ditch with a miniature swamp, which is someone else's property, so the back of the house needs to be bricked up. My grandfather's house is right beside mine, and it is abandoned, hence the thick vegetation. I would like to tackle that area eventually if I have the manpower, for there are many natural treasures there, but for now I have to focus on this house.

But the front yard is very quaint, and I barely got started, so I have great hopes in the future for a very pretty front yard. Ya Allah, I would like some money to start painting the house, and I would like to put a new roof, too. Plus many other things. Alhamdulillah. For now, I like to trim the grass on the evenings, and Chee Cheah is often at my side. My brother left his chickens here, so sometimes it's quite a soothing pastoral scene as I tend the garden. There is an elementary school just a few houses away. My mother's family has been in this for many generations, and it is a perfect place to raise a family.

Letter to Julia 20110715

No, it is not my intention to push the envelope when it comes to Islam. I'm just trying to get by the best I can until Judgement Day. I'm not creating a new following, or any new teachings. Rather, I'm a follower, not a leader. My leader is prophet Muhammad (peace be on him), and my "ambition" as a Muslim is to master the Qur'an, in action as well as verse. I'm not trying to write any new religious books, or gain any sort of name/rank as a scholar. I'm a musician.

And an old one, at that. I still can't get to the point where I can play the drums everyday, even when I had my own set I wasn't able to do that. Now my fingers hurt from playing the drums yesterday. I'm not the competitive type either. I avoid music contests like I avoid parties. I just want to please Allah with music, and to create music that I can listen to without cringing. It's not easy!

As for you, I want to be your mate, and to watch over you as we work. It's fine with me if I follow you around while I do my work, but sometimes you may have to follow me around. Then, we will place much pressure on our children if we stay in motion. Please think about that. I understand that all this Islam is a trial for you, but it is also a blessing. Just do the best you can with what Allah gives you. Peace, and blessings of Allah be upon you. Assalamu'alaikum.

Qur'an 20110715

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

158. Say, "O mankind! I am sent unto you all, as the messenger of Allah, to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. There is no god but God. It is God that gives both life and death. So believe in Allah and God's messenger, the unlettered prophet, who believes in Allah and God's Words. Follow him, that you may be guided."

The Heights 7:158
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O mankind! I am sent unto you all, as the messenger of Allah, to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth. There is no god but God. It is God that gives both life and death. So believe in Allah and God's messenger, the unlettered prophet, who believes in Allah and God's Words. Follow him, that you may be guided.

I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship other than Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.

Letter to Julia 20110714

YOOOOOLIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!

Hello my beloved sweet Julia, how are you feeling? Again, I apologize for not writing as often as I used to. Never that I love you less, rather, I can only love you more once we know more about each other. Yes, we have yet to know each other! You do remember that I didn't know you before: you were recommended for me. So, in essence, we have a pre-arranged marriage. But how could I not love you, because you are all that I could ever want in a girl, and you are MY girl!

I hope you are not planning on inviting Claudia to our wedding. I certainly am not inviting her, and I definitely don't want to see her at our wedding. Perhaps you mean to be nice, or political, or whatever. But don't. Don't invite her to our wedding, not even to gloat. Don't do it. YOU are my girl, so I don't want to see her, not even accidentally.

Anyway, I'm just biding my time, trying to go as slowly as possible. You should realize this by now, that time is the most valuable commodity for people like us. I'm just letting Allah take care of me, I put my trust in Allah. What's the worth of running oneself into the ground as quickly as possible, in a rat race? Yes, you are already caught up in your flow, it's hard to stop and take a breath. That's why the prayers are so important, for it forces your bosses to let you stop for a while, no matter when and what. This envelope can be pushed to its extreme repercussions, so they had better not give you grief about your Islam. Anyway, when we're together (insyaAllah), we had better do what it takes to spend as much time as possible with each other: you will find it to be more profitable than you imagine. We had best synchronize our work and our schedules to fit each other in.

It is not my intention to push the envelope. I just want to be married to my Julia, and make love to her 24/7, well, as often as possible 24/7... I don't want to mess up your expensive clothes, well, you are rather sexy in beautiful clothes, I might not be able to help myself. If I follow you to work, I had better bring my office along to keep me busy. But how can I concentrate with Julia looking so delicious?

Letter to Julia 20110711

Hi there, my Julia. How's business? I pray that you are taking good care of yourself, for I'm sure you are working very hard. And yes, you are my girl, and I want to marry you, so don't let them push you around. You are my beautiful love, and I could not find a more beautiful girl than you, you are all I could ever want in a girl, so I don't bother looking for another. I remain here waiting for the time when Allah will allow me to take the trip to go get you, and we can begin our life together.

I certainly am getting used to my daily routine, impoverished as it may be right now, but I don't feel much suffering, alhamdulillah. That's because I've been through much worse in the past. Not to say that I love adversity, or that I want to get used to it: I'd rather not. It would be nice to be wealthy for a change, and not have to watch out for bad guys all the time. But we can't be complaisant in this life, for only the next life is perfect. Besides, I can only marry you if I am wealthy, because I don't want you to ever go through the crap I've been through. I want us to adjust our work schedules to be synchronous with each other, and be safe, and happy together. I am really tired of traveling, but I haven't even done my Hajj yet, so I guess that means I have many thousand miles ahead of me left. Ya Allah, please let it be first class.

And poor little Chee Cheah, she's not a young kitten: my Mom tells me that she's already 8 years old. She doesn't like strangers, and I'm the only human who's ever spoiled her. And she's such an adorable kitty, she deserves to be spoiled. Anyway, this means that she absolutely cannot travel, for the stress will kill her. I couldn't bring Phantom back to Malaysia for the same reason. Our life in the USA wasn't easy, but I did the best I could to pamper her. She gave me 11 years of her life, and I miss her dearly. We parted under adverse conditions. Having to leave Phantom, and the death of Andre, are the biggest resentments about the USA that I will never be rid of.

Yeah, I love cats. This little house is perfect for me and my kitty. And even if I do become wealthy, I wouldn't want to get a bigger house. I would just perfect this house and yard, and build extensions if I'm forced to. Keeping this house and yard tidy is a lot of work as it is, and I'm still far from perfect in that regard. If Julia ever comes to live here, then I would definitely need a maid and a gardener, then we would need to keep an eye on them. But we would have to travel together, huh? Are you weary of travel yet, Julia? I would guess not. Would you like a little house in the Ardennes, or the Swiss alps? I hate the city, Julia. I don't feel like moving from here at all, especially if I can afford 24/7 air-conditioning. But all good things must come to an end, especially if I want something better.

Letter to Julia 20110709

Still feeling saucy? Hee hee I must admit that I'm a bit of a workaholic, I'm trying to envision our life together, where we're never to be seen without each other. Thus, a state of constant arousal would be my job, per se. I've been in sort of a constant trance lately. It's all that singing I've been doing: I hypnotize myself, and I feel like a zombie. There certainly is a lot going on right now, more than I'm allowed to say. I'm just riding the wave, and biding my time in the garden, and praying that Allah will give me my Julia soon. Oh, how I love my Julia. I bid you patience too, and pray that Allah will rid us of our obstacles quickly.

One thing that seems constant in the world is the influence of the supernatural. Whether or not one believes in the supernatural is irrelevant to its existence: the whining of noisy skeptics do not drown out the multitude who dabble in the supernatural. I do not condone witchcraft and superstition, though I admit that in the past, I blundered upon this path in my search for Allah. May Allah forgive me. In Malaysia, there are what can only be classified as witchdoctors. More interesting than the practitioners are the ones who patronize them. More than often, the patrons are people of wealth and power: money to burn, huh? Most likely, the witchdoctors are employees of a sort. How about America, then? I'm sure you don't even need to look in order to find such practitioners and patrons of witchcraft/superstition. What I discovered was blatant Satan worship. I shudder to imagine what goes on among the wealthy, in terms of witchcraft.

In the Qur'an, the realm of the supernatural is explained repeatedly and in detail. The bottom line is that the Power of Allah supercedes all else. Invoke Allah with sincere prayer, for there is the protection against all evil, corporeal and supernatural.

Letter to Julia 20110707

Y'know Julia, this inability to fulfill our passion is a difficulty for me, too. Obviously, the problem is the distance between us. We need to be properly married to each other, and be with each other all the time. Then I will do whatever it takes to be fucking you all the time, even if I would have to carry a backpack filled with viagra pumped into me intraveinously. Of course, it would be cumbersome when you're lying on your stomach reading a global economics textbook but hey, life is not perfect. You seem to be waiting for me, so if that is true then you must have faith, and pray that our love will be fulfilled quickly and efficiently. Please forgive me for being so far away from you.

Do you have faith in our love, and in God? Then be patient and wait, and pray that God will settle our matter of love in a happy way. This our global love affair is a sign of the Grace and Power of God, to defy those who will to enslave us, and force you into prostitution. This our love is an investment into the next life, so please be patient now, and pray.