Set list

 

Yes Honey, that is a nice booty and I like it very much.  Please don't get bloated.  It's so much nicer than what you drew on your set list.  I like your set list.  You don't have many songs on it but you're still young and you're a jam band anyway, so that's about an hour and half of music.  Just don't be boring with your jams!  Keep an eye on your drummer's face!

You're probably wondering about Mary's set list.  I'm the one who made the list, but Mary is one who decides what songs she sings each day.  Mary is emotional singer, and there is no sincerity when her emotions don't match the song.  Currently there are 329 songs on the list.  I have the songs programmed into a cell phone which also doubles as Mary's monitor.  The media player is set on random, so it selects which song is played next.  If Mary doesn't feel like singing that song, she skips to the next one.  That way she can keep pounding out songs one after another for 2 hours straight with minimal pause, and it's practically impossible to have the same list as the day before.  If you want me to type down the current list for you, I can email it to you.  I'm not going to display it here because I don't want the crowd to see it.  I don't have your email address.

Society

 

Hm, Levi's and Dick & Skip seem like precise decisions to me.  I'll bet Anna had something to do with it.  Oh, you love California!  Yes Honey, I am well aware of that.  People will constantly bait you with California to get you riled up about it.  California on the other hand, regards me as insane.  Here I am trying to save your purity.  Now that you are becoming more successful, more groups will try to possess you.  So be strong and resist them.

They will steal your hair and other small items because they practice witchcraft.  Your hair is easy to steal, I'm sure you shed like a fluffy kitten.  Sigh... such an easy target.  This time around their goal is slander, to give you the reputation of a slut.  So be ready.  Don't forget that hidden cameras are everywhere and always rolling in Hollywood!

The Antichrist is a computer expert

 

Hi there, hard working musician!  Still playing "Who knows?"  God knows.

In Islam, the Antichrist is known as the "Dajjal".  The Dajjal must appear first before Jesus Christ (peace be on him) makes his return.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

24.  Or have they taken for worship gods besides God?  Say, "Bring your convincing proof: this is the message of those with me and the message of those before me."  But most of them know not the truth, and so turn away.

The Prophets 21:24

We love bass

 

Hey, Greenville looked pretty good.  Congratulations, Honey.

We love bass!  You don't have to play a million notes a minute to impress me.  A solid and infectious bass line is all it takes!

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

77.  Have you not turned your vision to those who were told to hold back their hands but establish regular prayers and spend in regular charity?  When the order for fighting was issued to them behold, a section of them feared men as or even more than they should have feared Allah.  They said, "Our Lord!  Why have You ordered us to fight?  Would You not grant us respite to our term, near?"  Say, "Short is the enjoyment of this world: the hereafter is the best for those who do right, never will you be dealt with unjustly in the very least!"

The Women 4:77

Everyday

 

Music must be an everyday thing for a musician.  This is what defines us as musicians, thus others depend on the music.

Greenville, huh?  That's very humble of you.  I looked at your Japan recap.  Didn't you clean those leather shorts all the while you were there, Jim Morrison?  You should consider Australia next.  They speak English but it's not as explosive as Britain.  Make sure you put ads on your stream whenever you gig internationally.  Mexico is next, right?  I both envy you and am happy for you.  I feel left behind, but I choose the hereafter.  This is my path.  You have such a short set list.  You should record your entire show, then listen to the jams to check whether they all sound the same.  If they do, then you need to add more chaos to your jams.  Especially groove wise.  You don't do the "love dreamer" part for "Lucy"?  Don't leave that part out, it's beautiful.  But instead of fading out, make it increasingly louder and angrier then end abruptly.

I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected.

176.  They ask you for a legal decision.  Say, "Allah directs about those who leave no descendants nor ascendants as heirs.  If it is a man that dies leaving a sister but no child, she shall have half the inheritance: if a woman who left no child, her brother takes her inheritance: if there are two sisters, they shall have two-thirds of the inheritance: if there are brothers and sisters, the male having twice the share of the female."  Thus does Allah make clear to you lest you err.  And Allah has knowledge of all things.

The Women 4:176

Beethoven

 

For some reason, you remind me of Beethoven.  Anyway, I think it's quaint that you enjoy exploring the ruins of other people's lives.  It's more hazardous to do so here because of snakes and other varmints, also the overgrowth is much more intense.  Don't forget that the woods are supernatural, and it's pretty much a sure thing you're going to encounter some ghosts.  When you get frightened, say "I seek refuge with Allah from Satan the rejected" over and over again.

Target audience

 

Oh Honey, sorry about the loss.  Please try not to feel too much about it.

And the new guy might put an effort into gun control since he got shot.  Unless of course, that was just an act.

Also your position in California might improve now that Hollywood has lost more power.  It's not a blessing, though.

Not the grapes of wrath again

 

Are you getting too much attention?  Then just hide, Honey.

I was at the Tuesday market, when I saw some beautiful purple grapes.  The guy was selling them at 15 bucks for 2 kilos.  That's cheap, so I bought it.  I munched on grapes on the way home, and they were plump, firm, juicy and sweet.  Perfect grapes.  I didn't eat that many, maybe less than 10.  And I found out why they were so cheap: I got diarrhea.  I got the runs so bad, it was like turning on the faucet full blast.

What to do with 2 kilos of grapes?  I can't eat them.  I can't give them away for someone else to eat.  I can't throw them away, that's a lot of grapes and I spent 15 bucks on them!  So I thought I could cook the diarrhea out of the grapes.  There were so many grapes that it took a lot of labor to remove the seeds.  You can see below the end result.  I didn't want to dry them up nor add anything.  The flavor is excellent.  I blended them up, and got the thickness of a V8 vegetable juice.  Too runny for toast, but why not.  There are many ways to use this, from sweetening fried noodles to crushed ice treats.  So far, no more diarrhea.  I would rather have eaten them straight up, though.

Yawn

 

**Yawn**

What did you say to them, Grace?  They're pulling such funny faces.  One of them is obviously missing.

Shure SM57

 

I like that new song!  And the Flying V looks great on you.  Is it comfortable?  And is that a Chanel jacket?  It sure looks like it.  Congratulations on your sold out shows.  I told you Mary has a huge fan base in Japan.  Now you have the option to play at a larger venue, or to have a longer engagement at Blue Note when you return to Japan.  I recommend the longer engagement.  Or you can go on tour, and subject yourself to all that dangerous chaos.  Don't forget the none of you speak Japanese.  I say make them take the train to Tokyo to see you perform live.  If you wanted to see the whole country, make it recreation not business.  Before you leave the country, make sure you keep a tab on your boys so you don't lose any of them.  Black men love Asian women.

Whenever you stream from a venue, please set up a microphone on a stand for Mary.  Just for show.  Just to show that you care about her.  You can remove it for your own set.  She uses a Shure SM57, no wind screen.

Trouble is a friend

 

Hello, beautiful girl!  I knew there was something fishy about that 4:30 pm slot.  Well you can't say anything about it now, so don't.  The lesson to be learned from this is spiritual:  Allah will not change the fate of a people until they change it themselves.  I hope you are enjoying your time in Japan otherwise.  That guy on the bass is not the right guy, by the way.  Take Kinga Glyk as your permanent bassist.

It's the school holidays over here.  This village is crawling with teenage girls on motorcycles.  I'm having ramen for lunch today.  I finally have all the ingredients after a tough last month, namely a beef bone, salted fish heads, garlic, seaweed, carrot, egg, fish cake, okra and a pack of curry flavor ramen.  Oh, and some chicken skin for making artificial bacon bits!  You should try some ramen while you're in Tokyo.  It shouldn't hurt your tummy.

The guitar strap

 

Yes Honey, I saw the Madame President video.  That's a nice production, but I really wanted to see the BBQ.  That vote strap has become somewhat your trademark, no?  I didn't see you wear it at Gibson Japan, so I thought you gave up on it.  What do you think of US debt?  Not many countries are allowed to raise their own debt ceilings.  As long as you maintain your own community, that would be the most patriotic thing you could do.  Food prices are bound to go up, so get ready for that.

The lips move but the instrument sings

 

I'm sorry Honey, but Muslims don't celebrate Halloween.  You look like you had a lot of fun, though.  Wandering around Tokyo alone at night, being with the crowd.  You must love Tokyo.  I'm happy that you got back to your hotel room at 9 pm.  You're a good girl, you know that?  One thing you should know about being a Rock Star is that nobody's going to stop you from doing nasty things, but you won't be able to hide it because you are a Rock Star.  Please be a good girl.

Is that your new white amp?  You got a Mesa Boogie?  Good choice!  It matches your hair.  I love to watch you play guitar.  You have so much purity about it.  Your lips move, but your guitar does the singing.

Hey, check it out!  Lucy killed the Great Pumpkin!  Didn't you write a song called "Lucy"?