Letter to Julia 20141215

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Floofy has been very jealous of her own kittens lately.  Last night she came into the house, and began snarling at them, and at me because I was in the same room.  So I retreated to my bedroom, and she quickly slipped in with me.  Suddenly she was a different cat, wanting to be held and loved.  And she was crying: a tear was trickling down her right eye.  So I held her tightly for half an hour.  Poor Floofy.

Julia, I didn't know you were already married.  I found out yesterday.  My network is usually very efficient, that I would have been aware of this development as soon as it happened, but not this time.  I told you a while ago, I'm really not that smart.  Of course I was heartbroken.  And of course I cannot be married to a woman who is already married.  I would like to apologize for my being poor, for if I had had the money, I would have financed our marriage 5 years ago.  And I still don't have the money today.  So goodbye Julia, and best wishes.

Actually I feel kind of silly.  I should have caught on about a year ago, but Allah compensated for me for which I am grateful, that I still have my commitment to Erin.  I do love you, Erin.  Not just because I have a terrible weakness for pretty blondes, but also you seem to me to have a pure heart.  I need you.  And I will marry you inshaAllah.  Please be fully aware that I have a mission to please Allah with music, by my standing ground here and creating a tourist attraction, and you will be my wife.  With all due respect to you and your family, I cannot have you marry into my poverty, so when Allah grants me wealth enough to marry, that will be when we marry.  This is a spiritual situation, and marriage is a very serious business.  You must have faith and patience that that will happen inshaAllah, and be chaste and Islam.  Meanwhile, I pray that my commitment of marriage to you will enhance your business, and make you lots of money.  And I will build a house for you inshaAllah.  This is the situation given to me by inspiration from Allah for which I am grateful, where otherwise I would be just another dead rock star still generating revenue for the people who killed him.  Now it is time to close this folder of letters, and open a new one titled "Letter to Erin".  Erin, thank you for your love.

I took this photo about 5 years ago.  It's titled "The Kingfisher and the Stork".