Letter to Julia 20140929

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Everybody is in a big hurry!  Well, everybody is usually in a big hurry... to go nowhere.  Well, you could probably call this kampung "the middle of nowhere", but it's the center of the planet to me.  This is where I wish to settle down with my two beautiful wives inshaAllah, Julia and Erin.  I don't want to travel anywhere anymore.  I don't even like to commute.  So if anybody wants to reach my center of the planet, then they must be nice to my Julia and Erin.  So make sure you maintain your prayers.  Hurry, hurry!  Let them worship and fear Allah.

Yeah, I want them to be nice to my Julia and Erin because they are the most beautiful girls in the world to me.  They are my wives, so be extra nice to them.  My dearest and beloved wives, you are the center of the planet to me.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Wow, these kittens are plump!  I was giving them a bath, and with their fur wetted down, I could see exactly how fat they are.  They look like light bulbs, or balloons filled with water.  Such pudgy little kittens!  Yeah, I spoil them.  Unlike humans, cats are cute when they're fat.  Yeah, I know thin cats live longer.  Soon they will be at the age where I can let them outside.  Ya Allah please protect my kitties from harm and cat burglars.  Hey, this flea shampoo doesn't work!  I have to use it a little bit at full strength to stun the flea, then I can pick it out of the cat and pop it with the tip of my fingernail.  Who has the time for that?  I'm in a big hurry to be lazy and watch TV.  I want to snuggle with my wives!  I'm getting irritated.  Must be patient...