Letter to Julia 20140531

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Isn't it supposed to be football season?  I'm sorry Julia, I'm not a big sports fan.  Plus, I don't have satellite TV.  Plus, I'm currently going through kitten anxiety.  But when we're married inshaAllah, I will watch the games with you, then you can clue me in on the finer aspects of the business.

My Bat Cat died at 5am this morning, and I buried him deep next to the banana tree outside my front door.  I was getting desperate, for I knew that nourishment was much more important than medication.  It's a shame that baby kittens commit suicide over a stuffed nose.  All that sneezing also creates too many tears in their eyes, which dry and fuse their eyelids shut, effectively blinding them.  Then it suddenly occurred  to me after the fact that Asian cats are like Asian people, in that they are lactose intolerant.  I saw that on a documentary about mutation.  So if I used a milk formula made for elderly humans, that would be lactose free, and wouldn't hurt their little tummies.  So I used my Mom's milk formula, and it seems to be working.  Alhamduillah.  But too late for my poor little Bat cat.  Plus, I have to regularly put ophthalmic ointment in their eyes.

Sorry I'm being distracted by Kitten TV, but I am rather broken hearted.  You are my wives, I am dedicated to you, and I hope you feeling great, and stomping all over those nasty bitches (female and male) who get in your way or irritate you.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20140531

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

49.  They say, "What?  When we are reduced to bones and dust, should we really be raised up, a new creation?"

50.  Say, "Be you stones, or iron!"

51.  Or created matter which, in your minds, is hardest.  Then will they say, "Who will cause us to return?"  Say, "God who created you first!"  Then will they wag their heads towards you and say, "When will that be?"  Say, "Maybe it will be quite soon!"

The Night Journey  17:49-51
----------------------------------------------------------

Letter to Julia 20140529

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

So far, Kitten TV has been all about watching my kittens slowly die from the cold that the mother gave them.  And the doctor said that they're too small to save.  Well, my kittens are still alive, and the mother is just fine.  Alhamduillah.  I suppose I can only take it a day at a time.  Bob Cat had been such a cool cat throughout the ordeal.  He too caught the cold, but he just slept it off and continued feeding, even though the sneezing gets in the way.  Now he's the plumpest of the brood... for now.  But all my kittens are in grave danger.  Little Hepzibah likes to cry at anything and everything.  She sneezes and cries.  Mommy leaves, and she cries.  I pick her up, and she cries.  My Bat Cat is still alive.  I don't know how much longer.  I don't see him or Hepzibah feed.  Now my nose is stuffing up.  Ya Allah, please heal and protect all my kitties.

I want you both to know, my dearest and precious wives, that I have dedicated myself to our marriage.  I love you, and I need you.  So please don't let the antics of some temptress, who by the way would probably make a lousy Muslim, place you in doubt as to my commitment to you.  Again, I love you, and I need you.

Qur'an 20140529

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

41.  We have explained variously in this Qur'an, in order that they may receive admonition, but it only increases their flight.

42.  Say, "If there had been gods with God as they say, behold!  They would certainly have sought out a way to the Lord of the Throne!"

The Night Journey  17:41-42
----------------------------------------------------------

If there had been gods with God as they say, behold!  They would certainly have sought out a way to the Lord of the Throne!

Letter to Julia 20140528

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my most precious and beautiful wives.  How are you feeling today, my slick Julia?  I do so admire your cool but intense demeanor.  I love you, and I need you.  And how are those emotions of yours, my sweet Erin?  Sincerely, your pure and golden heart shines to me in my dreams.  I love you, and I need you.

I couldn't do much of anything yesterday evening because of the sporadic rain.  There was enough of a gap in the rain for me to run over to the night market, and buy some cuttlefish to make my Mama's famous Squid Stir Fry.  I ate it with rice, I was stuffed, and I have plenty left over.  This evening I harvested the last of the mangoes, and a whole bunch of lemongrass.  Can't do much with just lemongrass, but it's going to add some kick to my steak, and my sardine dip.

As for Kitten TV, Bat Cat has finally opened his eyes.  All my kittens have runny noses, but I'm kind of worried about Batty, because he stretches out his neck like a terrapin, gasping for air.  Both he and Hepzibah have lost interest in feeding.  Ya Allah, please heal and protect all my kitties.  His mother isn't impressed with his behavior.  She was the first to catch a cold by the way, so that's how it passed on to the babies.  So she sits on Batty, kicks him, then stuffs a nipple into his open mouth.  Perhaps she thinks he's being overly dramatic?  I don't know.  I love all my kitties, so I worry.  Bat Cat is the runt of the bunch, so I'm especially worried about him.  It doesn't seem like he would survive this crisis.  The vet said that there's nothing able to do, because the kittens are too small.  Any medication has to be administered to the mother to be fed to the babies, but if they're not feeding, then I can only watch.  Chee Cheah has complete disdain for Floofy and her brood.  She hisses at them from a distance, and isolates herself outside during the day.  But she is an old kitty, so I have to go and fetch her to keep her indoors at night.  She's a grand old lady, but she is old, and is beginning to wobble in her walk, just like a kitten.

Letter to Julia 20140525

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my dearest wives.  How are you feeling today?  Please know and feel secure that I love you, I love you, and I need you, I need you.  Would you like to watch TV?  Right now, I'm watching "Kurt Cobain: the last 48 hours".  I would never keep diaries like he did.  I hate that shit.  Who really gives a shit about my feelings and my problems anyway, besides Allah?  Sorry for swearing.  I don't think I'm special.  I don't want people to know about me.  I'm like Buddy Rivell in the movie "3 O'Clock High" when he said, "I don't like it when people know about me.  I don't like it when anybody knows about me"  These letters to you are the closest thing the humans are going to get for an autobiography.  They should have caught me when I was young.  Let them worship and fear Allah instead.

But really, I'm a big fan of Kitten TV!  Bob Cat was the first to open his eyes!  Another first for Bobby-Wobby!  He took a good look at me, and yawned.  Hepzibah was the next to open her eyes.  She did so gradually, about the size of a pinhole, took a good glance at me, and started crying.  So I immediately gave her back to her Mommy.  Bat Cat has yet to open his eyes.  The baby cats don't really make much of a mess.  I guess they're too young to lick their own butts, plus they only drink milk, so they have Mommy to lick their butts for them.  Humans don't do that.  We're going to have to use diapers, and toilet paper.  And lots of water.

Letter to Julia 20140524

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my dearest wives.  How are you feeling, my love, my love?  You are the light, hope and pride of my life.  The are very, very few women as beautiful as you, and they know it.  You are so beautiful, and I love you, I love you so much.  I need you, I need you.  I will not abandon you my love, my love.  InshaAllah.

Oh, the mundane hurts my feet.  I spent the evening cutting the grass at Casa de Julia inshaAllah.  I did the nearly whole area in one go, and I'm limping right now.  Then I did my laundry.  My washer broke down, so I do my laundry by hand now.  I'm usually naked when I wash my clothes.  It's just more convenient that way: I shower and do laundry at the same time.  Entertaining, huh?  Not.  I was too lazy to cook, so I bought some rice at Ina's.  One of those damned stink beetles flew into my sushi last night.  Gag.  It only ruined 2 rolls.  The vet gave some anti-itch pills for Chee Cheah, so I fed her a quarter.  Thus, she's been very demure lately, almost guilty.  Occasionally, I borrow a kitten from Floofy.  Can I borrow a kitten?  Oh, they are so adorable and tiny.  I think this weekend, some eyes will be open.  InshaAllah.

Letter to Julia 20140522

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my beloved Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling, my dearest wives?  How are those precious emotions?  Of course I want to be with you, my beloved heart.  I love you, I love you with all my heart.  So please be patient, please don't be sad.  I want to be with you, I want us to be together, always.  I need you, I need you.

Lonely people love cats, and I'm lonely without you.  It has been all Kitten TV here for me, that I've been neglecting my own TV station.  I love kittens.  I wish you were here with me, and we would snuggle, have a pizza, and watch Kitten TV with me.  I could sit for hours and ponder on the blind little kittens wrestiling with each other for the "Preferred Nipple".  I had always intended to move the little darlings inside, but it was to my convenience that Floofy gave birth outside.  It was perfect timing when I moved them inside, because the rain began to pour buckets that night.  Poor little Floofy.  She's an indoors cat now, she can't raise her kittens in that cage, even though it's sheltered and only a door away.  So the nest is now in my kitchen, and I spend my cooking and meal times watching the babies sleep. Alhamdulillah.

Letter to Julia 20140520

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Well, it looks like it's going to be cat tails for a while.  Let's start with Chee Cheah.  Monday morning, and I was preparing to take her to the vet for her antifungal shot.  I usually let her out of the house right at the dawn prayer, but this time I didn't.  The vet opens at 8:30am, so I take my time, and whip up breakfast then take a shower.  Then the cat starts screaming and limping.  I get freaked out and think she broke her leg of course, but it's still an hour before the vet.  So I coop her in her travel basket, and try to take a short nap.  At the vet, he says there's nothing wrong with her.  So either she's throwing a tantrum about going to the vet, or she's jealous over the kittens, or she's a hypochondriac.  Great.

I've been keeping Floofy and her kittens in a little cupboard, in the cage where I store my motorcycle at night.  Which is safe from animals the size of a cat or larger, but not from snakes and mice, and not from the wet and the cold.  Indoors is better, InshaAllah.  So I place her and the kittens in a large box while I move the little cupboard indoors.  But the young mother rejected what I chose for her, and started to move her brood.  Eventually she chose the crevice under my stove top where I put my LPG cylinder.  So I had to move the cylinder, and make a bed for Floofy and her kittens right in the middle of my kitchen.  Great.

I don't think you would tolerate such a situation, but you're not here.  The kittens are awfully cute, though.  I think the white kitten will grow up to be a calico like her mother, but whiter with a short tail.  Her name is Hepzibah.  Then there's the black and white Bat Cat clone, which is awesome because Bat Cat isn't the father.  His name is Bat Cat.  Floofy's first choice kitten, the first kitten she chose to move, looks kind of like the father except he has a straight tail, and he's a darker kitty.  His name is Bob Cat.  The father is a slender grey cat with long legs, and stripes on the legs.  He hangs around the homestead at all times.  I don't have a name for him: he's not my cat.  I don't know how Chee Cheah will react to the new living arrangements.  I need to get used to it myself.  Right now, she's moping over at Casa de Julia inshaAllah.  Ya Allah, please protect and heal all my kitties.

Of course you are my wives inshaAllah, and I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.  Please join me in Islam.  Please maintain your prayers, and don't forget to enjoy all sorts of food while keeping to the rules.  God must be the most underestimated Being ever.  But who really cares about the skeptics?  Allah has put you at the top of the world, as per our marriage.  InshaAllah, we will have security and happiness in this life as well as the Hereafter.

Letter to Julia 20140518

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I'm sorry my dearest wives, but yesterday was the king's birthday, so it was a public holiday.  I didn't think the Internet cafe I always go to would be closed, though.  Gah!  As you know, I always plan my letters, and I don't like to write them live, and this is the only place in town that takes my USB drive.  Gah again!  In the meanwhile, Floofy gave birth to 3 beautiful kittens!  Aw!  They are so tiny!  They are a quiet bunch for some reason, but very energetic, and always squirming about.  Subhanallah!  Alhamdulillah!  Lailahaillallah!  Allahuakbar!  I love kittens!  One is a dark calico, almost like a dark tiger type.  One is a carbon copy of my Batty Watty Bat cat!  Strange that Bat Cat isn't the father.  The last is a white kitten with small blonde and black patches.  I'm going to name them Bat Cat, the white one Hepzibah, and I don't know what to name the striped one yet.  Ya Allah, please protect my kitties.  Ya Allah, please protect my Julia and Erin.  I love them, and I need them.

Qur'an 20140518

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

101.  When We substitute one revelation for another, and Allah knows best what God reveals, they say, "You are a forger," but most of them understand not.

102.  Say, "The Holy Spirit has brought the revelation from your Lord in Truth, in order to strengthen those who believe, and as a Guide and Glad Tidings to Muslims."

103.  We know indeed that they say, "It is a man who teaches him."  The tongue of him they wickedly point to is notably foreign, while this is Arabic, pure and clear.

104.  Those who believe not in the Signs of Allah, Allah will not guide them, and theirs will be a grievous penalty.

105.  It is those who believe not in the Signs of Allah that forge falsehood, it is they who lie!

The Bees 16:101-105
----------------------------------------------------------

The Holy Spirit has brought the revelation from your Lord in Truth, in order to strengthen those who believe, and as a Guide and Glad Tidings to Muslims.

Letter to Julia 20140517

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Floofy is beginning to scrape around, looking for a place to put her kittens.  She was scraping about the corner of my bedroom, but I told her she can't put her kittens there.  Kittens may be cute and all, but their poop can still give out a frightful pong, which would keep me awake at night.  Besides, I don't sleep with cats.  I got Floofy a little cupboard to put her kittens in, and she has been scraping around in there, but I'm going to have to move them all inside after she gives birth.  I told Floofy that she and her kittens are welcome in my house, but she has to eat and poop outside, in her cage.  I guess I have no choice but to clean up after the babies.  She said, "Meow".  Typical of a cat to give an esoteric answer to everything.  Floofy is actually my first pregnant kitty.  I've known many a cat, but Floofy is my first pregnant kitty.  Ya Allah, please grant us beautiful, happy, and healthy kittens.

For dinner, it was pizza.  Yeah, I've started to make pizza again after a 6 year hiatus.  The difference, besides cheese, to making a great pizza is the oven.  A professional pizza oven is pre-heated to 500F, and has a concrete slate in it to cook the bottom.  So at home, I cook the crust first.  And since my teeny electric oven doesn't go to 500F, I have to put aside more time to cook the food.  I cook the bottom first on the stove top, on a flat pan.  Then I sauce it, and cook the crust without cheese.  On the menu tonight is sardine and cashew pizza.  I've been making perfect sardine dip lately, so I used it as pizza sauce.  And cashews taste like pineapple on pizza.  After all that is done, I finally put the cheese, and bake it long enough to just melt the cheese.  What to do, all I only have generic sliced cheese.  But the pizza is good.  I enjoyed it with my Mom's home made hot sauce, locally known as sambal belacan.  Tip to locals: sambal belacan is a perfect match with melted cheese.  Want some? 

I love you, I love you.  And of course, I need you, I need you.  You are my wives, inshaAllah.  The promise I made to you is for us, and not for my own personal gain.  What is being built here, this Casa de Julia in the name of Allah, is being built by us: me here, you in your far away, with Allah as our Helper and Protector.  Do not weaken our oath to each other and to Allah by way of deception.  What is with Allah is far superior than anything you can imagine or desire.

Letter to Julia 20140514

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Are you hungry?  Are you ready for some REAL food?  I sound like a commercial.  Anyway, I bought some sole at last night's market.  I was watching chef Sakai dealing with sole, and suddenly I had the craving.  Chef Sakai has to be the best Iron Chef.  Anyway, sole makes great sushi and great crispy fry, so I thought I would combine the two.  Crispy fried sushi?  Nah.  Sole takes time to prepare, it's like you have to fight for whatever flesh there is.  Both sides have to be scaled, and there's a lot of scales.  There's not much to gut, so I take off the head and the guts with one move with a scissors.  I peel and fillet the fish before gutting, but I suppose I could do it after, it would it easier to peel.  Yes, you can peel the skin off.  Don't throw it away!  The skin and the fins are the best part of the crispy fry, so trim the fins with the scissors, and save them along with the skin.  I stretch out the skin and the fins straight when I put them in the hot oil.  Yes, this is for sushi.  Sole is sweet meat, totally awesome for sushi, and combines with the crispy skin and fins, plus egg and chives, makes totally awesome sushi.  Of sourse I left some for you, I can't eat al 24 rolls in one sitting.  But you didn't show up for dinner, so I had them for breakfast.  I can't seem to get the scent of raw sole to go away.  It's as if I had an extra fish, and left it on the floor.  It's never done this before, sole is such a mild and sweet fish.  Thus, the advantage of having an outside kitchen, especially when odors take a supernatural quality.  You were right, Julia.  You both must join me for dinner sometime.  But where would you sit?  I need a table, and a candelabra.  Oh, sadness.

Obviously, it's not me who sustains you.  And even if I had all the money in the world to give you pretty baubles for your retirement, it still wouldn't be me who sustains you.  Allah is the One who sustains you.  Perhaps some celebrities seek you as the only means of reaching me, but that too is the Will of Allah.  After all, why should I care about people who didn't care about me long ago when I tried to seek them out?  Now I've become extra lazy.  So do not make comparisons of Allah to other things, when you do not know.  God is Incomparable.  And pray that soon Allah will grant me the means to give you a secure and happy marriage.  Thank you for your love.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140512

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my beloved wives!  I love you, I love you!  I pray we were together in love and happiness, always.  I just got done peeling bamboo shoots for my Mom.  She's going to make her famous bamboo shoots in dates and brown sugar pickle again.  The stuff doesn't go bad.  I had the 2 years ago batch yesterday with my steak, and it was delicious.  Bamboo is the highest form of grass.  I love bamboo because it makes great drumsticks, because it curves naturally.  Those other drumsticks are straight, so I use them for rolling out dough for my morning flat bread.  A bamboo shoot is edible if you are able to snap it out from the bamboo cluster.  Even so, it must be peeled, and only the tender parts can be used.  The tip is the most tender, and I like to use it for soup because it unravels like noodles.  My Mom likes them fresh, but I like to marinade them in slat water for at least a week or two.  Tastes like sauerkraut.

Letter to Julia 20140510

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

It rained heavily the last time I went out to blog my love for you, so I wound up spending too much time at the Internet cafe, plus getting soaked as well.  I still have this lingering chest congestion from the Flu Of The Year.  It started with a cough, and I still have a cough, and when I sing, it sounds like I'm about to throw up.  I hate singers.  As a technician, I hate singers.  Sure, they may argue that their body is their musical instrument.  Prima Donnas, all of them.

Now you may not feel that you are at the top because life might be too mundane for you, or you're not rich enough, or whatever.  I have inspiration from Allah that the both of you are at the top of your business at this time.  So you must not feel and behave as if you are ungrateful about the position that Allah has given you.  The mundane is much more romantic anyway.  Planning meals, checking for love messages, etc.  It's kind of like Floofy: other creatures are feeding off her poop.  Yeah it's gross, but it isn't easy at the top.  So you shouldn't be trying to step up, nor should you be sliding into the abyss.  Devote your energy into conserving your energy, and slowing down.  Pray.  You are my wives inshaAllah, you are the most beautiful women in the world, and I love you, I love you.  I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140507

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Mmmmmm... I just had a most mouth-watering steak.  Oh my God, it was so good.  The first bite was sheer ecstasy, and I can still taste it in my mouth.  Oh, I love a good steak.  You're supposed to let the steak sit for a while after you cook it, but I do love it so when it's piping hot.  Praise be to Allah, it was so good.  You want some?  It's tenderloin.  Oh no, I ate it all!  I'm going to have to cook you another one.  Steak is easier to control when it's pan fried.  Put it on the grill to dry it and char it up.  Nah... I already ate it.

And how are you doing, my precious Julia and Erin?  I love you, I love you!  Work on slowing down, my beloved wives.  Have some chocolate mousse.  I spent the evening collecting mangoes, and digging up tapioca.  I played a little bit of guitar t night while watching TV.  I have to plug into my vocal amp, which I don't like, because it feeds back like mad.  I love feedback mind you, I just don't want to blow up my vocal amp which I have to work with everyday.  I don't really try to practice my musical instruments as I used to when I was younger, because nowadays I'm primarily a chick singer, and I need to slow down.  Plus, I don't have the right amp for my guitar.  Anyway, back to being a TV junkie.  Wish you were here.  I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140505

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

How are you feeling today, my dearest Julia and Erin?  I pray you are keeping the faith and enjoying yourselves.  I just got finished making dough and sardine dip for my breakfast bread.  Most delicious, and a quick and fresh breakfast.  Ingredients?  Onions blended in oil and a little bit of belacan (pronounced "belahchan" not "belliken", which is fermented shrimp cake), fried up with pepper and red hot pepper paste, then crumbled deboned sardines from a can.  Sardine bones make a great fond, by the way.  After I'm out of sardine dip, I'll make chicken curry for my morning bread.

A lot is going on right now, but nothing that I can talk about, because I'm not really doing anything, so I can't get any credit.  The credit goes to Allah.  Let's just say that God is putting on a marvelous and highly entertaining show, and the Master is toppling pawns all over the place.  So I hope you are paying attention, and your spy network is cluing you in on all the news.  This also to remind you, and I mean the both of you, that you are already at the top of your game, because Allah put you there.  The world is your stage, so don't try too hard.  You don't have to do much of anything except be beautiful, and you are.  Did you expect to have a long acting career like Jodie Foster to then finally get... married... at the age of 60 or 70 something?  So please be grateful to Allah for putting you on this spiritual trip.  As for me, I love you I love you, and I need you I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140503

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my gorgeous wives.  I love you, I love you.  I went to blog on Thursday evening in the midst of my illness, but they were closed for Labor Day.  Labor Day?  I have to work everyday, and I'm not even a prophet.  Singing well is difficult to begin with, try singing while hacking up loagies.  But alhamdulillah, that's all that's left of the flu of the year, is the clearing of phlegm from my lungs.  I pray you are taking good loving care of yourselves, and being good girls.  You are so beautiful and wonderful, you are the light of my life, and I love you, I love you with all my heart.  I need you, I need you.

Thus I finally had the strength to cut the grass in my yard.  Floofy was bugging me about that, and she was right.  The place was starting to lok like an vacant lot.  I usually like the wildflowers here in Malaysia, but right now the wild growth is hideous for some reason, so I whacked them all out.  The clover seems to have moved to Casa de Julia for some reason.  I like clover: it's pretty, and it grows short.  Oh well.  Wish you were here.  Please be patient my beloved, and pray.

Letter to Julia 20140501

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, my beautiful precious darlings.  How are you feeling, o ravishing ones?  I guess I got forced into overdrive while I was sick.  That was a tough week for me, and I'm still feverish.  Ya Allah, I hope I passed your exam.  Exams, exams, exams.  I guess it's true that high school never ends.  Anyway, how are the most beautiful girls in the world?  I love you I love you so much, my dearest wives, and I need you, I need you.  You are in my heart all the time.  You are MINE, MINE.

Qur'an 20140501

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

88.  Strain not your eyes at what We have bestowed on certain classes of them, nor grieve over them, but lower your wings to the believers.

89.  And say, "I am indeed he that warns openly and without ambiguity."

90.  As We sent down on those who divided,

91.  As have made the Qur'an into shreds.

92.  Therefore, by your Lord, We will, of a surety, call them to account,

93.  For all their deeds.

94.  Therefore expound openly what you are commanded, and turn away from those who join false gods with Allah.

The Rocky Tract 15:88-94
----------------------------------------------------------
I am indeed he that warns openly and without ambiguity.