Letter to Julia 20140101

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Happy new year, my dearest Julia and Erin!  I pray you are feel AWESOME!  I didn't do anything outside of normal for the new year.  Bird in a cage, y'know.  I vacuumed my kitchen, had fried chicken for lunch, voice trained, cut the grass around Casa de Julia inshaAllah, now I'm writing this love letter while my chicken and bamboo shoots stew stews on the stove top.  If you were here with me, of course we would have some sort of celebration.  A celebration of being married.  I love you, I love you.  I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20131230

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

In the south of Malaysia, in the state of Johor on the Malaysia-Singapore border, is a development known as Iskandar Malaysia.  It is a multibillion dollar project designed to be a Singapore-like tourist attraction right next to Singapore, with theme parks and malls with designer brands, but not the casinos.  The local patronage is of course, the populations of both Malaysia and Singapore.  May Allah be pleased with their work, and reward them as such.

Up here in the north of Malaysia, on the Malaysia-Thailand border, is another tourist attraction.  Not a billion dollar investment, but rather made from resources already available.  The islands and beaches, local merchandise and foods, indigenous pastimes and activities, set in the clean rural Perlis-Langkawi-South Thailand triangle.  I provide a musical attraction: my mission is to please Allah with music and the people can listen in, and perhaps they may learn to worship and fear Allah.  The situation here glorifies Allah, and by the Will of Allah patronage is attracted, not just the local population of Malaysia and Thailand, but globally.  The power of music, mashaAllah.  Casa de Julia is part of that structure, so it is my duty to stand my ground here, and help protect what is being built here, inshaAllah.  Ya Allah, please protect what is being built here, and grant us peace and prosperity.

Since this situation glorifies Allah, anyone who tries to dismantle or sabotage it is an enemy of Allah.  If they desist then Allah will forgive their past, but if they persist then the punishment of those before them is already upon them.

Letter to Julia 20131228

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Casa de Julia is under siege!  Oh, the drama! The intrigue!  I'm sure you've been watching, so you know who the traitor is.  But there is nothing you can do.  This is a spiritual situation, or more accurately, an Islamic spiritual situation.  Snakes have baby snakes, kill one snake and 5 others get away, and some snakes only God can kill.  So you're looking at a very long shadow.  So all we can do is stand our ground, and pray for Allah to resolve Casa de Julia in the most detailed fashion.  The good news is that this morning, some of the good kampung folk helped break down the tree that fell on the house, and another tree besides. Praise Allah!  Ya Allah, please grant me the wealth I need soon to acquire Casa de Julia and give my Julia and Erin a happy and secure marriage.  Please protect us, our home, our love, our work, and those we love.

Dearest Julia and Erin, I am yours, I am here for you.  To take good loving care of you, to help protect you.  I don't want you to ever feel abandoned.  I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Julia 20131224

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello my dearest Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today?  Busy, busy, busy?  I don't have much to say today, other than "I love you".  I'm longing for you as usual, so I'm trying to be patient, and I pray that Allah will grant me the wealth I need to give you a good and secure married life soon.  I'm just an old soldier, and there's never getting used to the strife.  But while I still have strength, then my strength is for you inshaAllah.  Please maintain your prayers, and ask Allah to bring us together in marriage soon.  I love you.

Qur'an 20131224

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

1.  They ask you concerning the spoils of war.  Say, "Such spoils are at the disposal of Allah and the messenger.  So fear Allah, and keep straight the relations between yourselves.  Obey Allah and God's messenger, if you do believe."

2.  For believers are those who, when Allah is mentioned, feel a tremor in their hearts, and when they hear God's Signs rehearsed, find their faith strengthened, and put their trust in their Lord.

3.  Who establish regular prayers, and spend out of the gifts We have given them for sustenance.

The Spoils of War 8:1-3
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Such spoils are at the disposal of Allah and the messenger.  So fear Allah, and keep straight the relations between yourselves.  Obey Allah and God's messenger, if you do believe.

Letter to Julia 20131223

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Monday, my beloved Julia and Erin.  You must be busy.  I'm busy, but I trying my best to slow down.  My feet hurt.  I've always had bad feet.  All that traveling I've done makes my feet hurt even more.  Standing in one place makes my feet hurt even more.  I'm sorry, but I can't go jogging with you.  We can go on long, slow walks inshaAllah, but we're going to have to get a treadmill if you want to go running.  Unless I follow you around on a motorcycle.  Hey, let's go cycling instead.  Let's ride our bicycles to the international border and have a picnic in a tower overlooking the sugar cane fields.

The countryside certainly can be beautiful, and the flat landscape here makes it easy for weak-footed people like me to traverse on bicycle.  But I have to sing at the same time everyday, so I have to stick to a routine, and can't afford the time to go wandering around.  My feet hurt more than usual today, so I had to sit when I voice trained.  By the Will of Allah, the music is powerful, and can attract people from all over the globe, and therefore gives them a reason to come here.  So let their hearts realize Allah, let them fear and worship Allah.

Qur'an 20131223

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

202.  But their brethren plunge them deeper into error, and never relax.

203.  If you bring them not a revelation, they say, "Why don't you have it together?"  Say, "I but follow what is revealed to me from my Lord.  These are Lights from your Lord, and Guidance, and Mercy, for any who have Faith."

204.  When the Qur'an is read, listen to it with attention, and hold your peace, that you may receive Mercy.

The Heights 7:202-204
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I but follow what is revealed to me from my Lord.  These are Lights from your Lord, and Guidance, and Mercy, for any who have Faith.

Qur'an 20131222

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

194.  Verily those who you call upon besides Allah are servants like unto you.  Call upon them, and let them listen to your prayer, if you are truthful!

195.  Have they feet to walk with?  Or hands to lay hold with?  Or eyes to see with?  Or ears to hear with?  Say, "Call your 'god-partners', scheme against me, and give me no respite!"

196.  "For my protector is Allah, Who revealed the Book, and God will choose and befriend the righteous."

197.  "But those you call upon besides God are unable to help you, and indeed to help themselves."

The Heights 7:194-195
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Call your 'god-partners', scheme against me, and give me no respite!

Letter to Julia 20131221

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

AAAAAA!!!!  The tree fell on top of the house AGAIN!!!  I thought for sure that it would fall parallel to the house but it didn't, it's wedged into the roof, being held up by the rafters exactly like the last tree.  But this time it's a mature coconut tree laden with fruit, weighing about a few tons.  If that thing fell on top of me, I would be like a flat squid.  The good news is that my Dad said for me not to try to bring it down, because he would get the villagers to help.  Praise Allah!  How nice of them to do so, may Allah reward them.  The juice and flesh of young coconuts make a delightful cold beverage, which pleases my Mom's sweet tooth, the sweetest of sweet tooths.  So I took a curved machete and struck off the top, made a hole and let the juice pour into a container, then split the fruit in half to scrape out the flesh with a spoon.  I think you would love this stuff.  Just don't overdo the good food!

I'm sure you both are busy with the Christmas season, because you grew up with it, and it's part of your nostalgia.  I must warn you that Muslims don't celebrate Christmas: we celebrate the 2 Eids, one at the end of the fasting month of Ramadan, and another to mark the end of the Hajj ritual.  So when we marry inshaAllah, you will have to transfer your ritual to the month of Ramadan.  Instead of decorating a tree, you will be decorating the house and compound, there will be no Santa Claus but you will be waking up everyday at about 4am to eat then fast during the day, celebration will be for a month instead of a couple of days, it will be overbearingly social, we will prepare a feast for the Eid and we can exchange gifts if you want, but the small children prefer cash.  Don't blame me!  Blame them!  They visit your house in gangs to kiss your hands, and you give them cash.  Don't worry, the Ramadan crowds are every bit as obnoxious as the Christmas crowds except that it lasts for about a month.  New clothes are a must!  The Prophet (peace be on him) said we have to wear our best clothes for the Eid!  So please be ready to transfer your nostalgia to a different routine.  Mrs. Global!  I personally don't enjoy how social the festive season is because I'm such a recluse, so I'll just let you take charge.  I love you, and I need you.

Qur'an 20131221

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

186.  To such as Allah rejects from God's Guidance, there can be no guide.  God will leave them in their trespasses, wandering in distraction.

187.  They ask you about the Hour: when will be its appointed time?  Say, "The knowledge thereof is with my Lord.  None can reveal as to when it will occur.  Heavy is its burden through the heavens and the earth.  Only all of a sudden will it come to you."  They ask you if you were eager in search thereof.  Say, "The knowledge thereof is with Allah, but most humans know not."

188.  Say, "I have no power over any good or harm to myself except as Allah Wills.  If I had knowledge of the unseen, I should have multiplied all good, and no evil should have touched me.  I am but a warner, and a bringer of glad tidings to those who have faith."

The Heights 7:186-188
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The knowledge thereof is with my Lord.  None can reveal as to when it will occur.  Heavy is its burden through the heavens and the earth.  Only all of a sudden will it come to you.

The knowledge thereof is with Allah, but most humans know not.

I have no power over any good or harm to myself except as Allah Wills.  If I had knowledge of the unseen, I should have multiplied all good, and no evil should have touched me.  I am but a warner, and a bringer of glad tidings to those who have faith.

Letter to Julia 20131219

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello again Julia and Erin, my precious beauties!  How are those emotions today?  Today was such a busy day for me.  I woke up late, right when they called the Fajr prayer at 6am.  But I didn't go back to sleep.  I did my laundry, I made breakfast, shaved and showered then took Chee Cheah to the vet for an antifungal shot.  Poor little kitty!  She's so sensitive to the weather, she breaks out in fungus whenever there's a prolonged rainy spell.  On the way back, I picked up my Dad's paper and some green hot chilli peppers for my Mom.  Then I went to the main market downtown for some wonton skins and fishballs.  Hey, there's a Bruce Lee movie on TV right now!  Then I stopped to blog yesterday's letter, and went home and made stuffed wontons for lunch.  Want some?  Oh, I ate them all!  I had time for a nap before the noon prayer, which was good because I was feeling hammered.  After the prayer, I voice trained for 2 hours.  During the evening, I cleaned up a little around Casa de Julia inshaAllah, and prepared a tree for chopping down.  I also prepared some plastic pots for planting produce.  I watered the flowers, and went out for dinner.  I had rice with egg and anchovies, and iced tea.  Then I took a shower and prayed the sunset prayer, now I'm writing this love letter to you.  I love you.

There is the type of man who sees the Signs of God, yet  he passes them by.  So instead of God, Satan follows him up.  Obviously, God and whatever thereof have less value to him than his own desires.  God could have elevated him if it had been God's will.  But he is like a dog: if you beat it, it lolls out its tongue, and if you leave it alone, it lolls out its tongue.  God will deal with those who reject the signs of God gradually, in ways that they do not perceive.

Letter to Julia 20131218

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi beloved Julia and Erin!  How are you feeling today?  My Mom gave me a blender recently.  And what do you know, the light in my kitchen blacked out when I went to hook it up.  I didn't even get a chance to plug it in.  The starter for the fluorescent lamp died, so praise Allah I had a spare starter.  But when I tried to take the old starter out, the casing came off, leaving the insides jammed into the fixture.  So I had to climb up onto the counter top, dismantle the fixture so I could scrape out what was left of the starter with a screwdriver.  All this while sweating profusely in the dark.  The problem with having the body of a jock is that I sweat like a jock, and therefore smell like a jock.  Oh!  How I would love to have a nice dainty body like you, and smell like strawberries!

Anyway, baby squid was going for cheap over at the night market, so I bought a kilo.  So today, I separated the heads from the bodies, then took out the ink sacs.  Then I threw all the heads into the blender along with some garlic, onion, ginger, and an egg.  Oh no, I forgot the lemongrass!  No water, though.  Squid has the same consistency as water (which is probably why it shrinks when you cook it, because you're evaporating all the water).  I poured the mix into a bowl to add some flour, and made squid meatballs.  The fluid in the eyes darkened the mix a bit.  Next time, I'll use the bodies for meatballs and the heads for fried calamari.  But it's not so bad as the stuff browns quickly and nicely when I fry it.  Hey, that stuff is pretty good!  Pink with a crispy brown shell!  Praise Allah!  I think I'll buy some wonton skins tomorrow, and make mixed stuffed wontons.  You want some?  Stuffed wontons are so dainty, I'm sure you would love them!  You're so dainty.  I love you!

Please maintain your prayers, and ask Allah to bring us together in marriage soon.

Letter to Julia 20131216

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

EEEEK!!!!  I just had the fright of my life!  My ex-schoolmates finally tracked me down to my home and visited me!  I knew it would happen eventually, and even though I knew it would happen, I was still scared shitless!!  As you know, I don't have any friends.  Back in high school, I was the most hated person.  Suddenly they want me to go to their parties!  But I have no interest in making friends now.  I'm only interested in being with my Sweeties Julia and Erin at all times.

Anyway, please be sure to go out and eat or shop for food wherever you feel.  Say the word of peace when you enter.

Qur'an 20131216

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

158.  Say, "O humans!  I am sent unto you all, as the messenger of Allah, to Whom belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth.  There is no god but God.  It is God that gives both life and death.  So believe in Allah and God's messenger, the unlettered prophet, who believes in Allah and God's Words.  Follow him, that you may be guided."

The Heights 7:158
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I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship other than Allah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.

Letter to Julia 20131214

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my beloved beautiful Queen Julia.  How are you feeling today?  How's business?  Ah!  I told you many times before that people will go bonkers over what you eat, so you had better pay more attention to your job as a professional endorser of food products.  This isn't an issue of privacy or pressure, so please don't be worried.  It is about the business of marriage, to ME.  You are MY girl, so people go crazy about your food.  So have fun with it, OK?  Be a diva about your food, OK?  Eat what you like, and what doesn't hurt your tummy.  Just remember the rules of halal, and don't overdo it.  I love you, Julia.

My dearest Erin, my dreamy beauty.  I finally got to watch the latest VS fashion show.  You are so beautiful, my heart soars to see what a wonderfully gorgeous woman you are.  I am so proud of you my mysterious princess, and I love you with all my heart. 

The same applies to you Erin, that people will go insane over what you eat, because it affects their income in some way.  MashaAllah.  Just don't forget the rules, and try to have fun OK?

Letter to Julia 20131210

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Love and greetings my beautiful ladies, my beloved Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today?  I had to vacuum clean my kitchen and living room yesterday, and it's been over a month since I last did that.  I'm so lazy!  But after all, I'm still alone and without you.  I wish we could be together during these intense times, but as you know, I cannot have you marry into my poverty, for your well-being is of highest priority to me, by the Will of Allah.  I would have to exert whatever influence I have from a distance to help you, confront some nasty bitches for example.  But I think it should be easier for you (as opposed to me) to capitalize on whatever fame Allah has given me, while I'm the one who takes the slide.  Just tell them, "I'm his wife, inshaAllah".  Being a woman has the general advantage that you don't have to face off enemies on a regular and physical basis: you would have a man do that for you.  Kill one snake, and there are five more that get away.  Big, fat ones too.  So I attract the snakes to me, away from you inshaAllah.  But Allah is the Best to Protect.

But Allah does not heap any burden on a soul more than it can bear.  So if you so happen to capitalize on whatever fame Allah has given me, then make sure you have your own route ready back to your comfort zone.  Like when Fluffy climbed onto my roof via the cherry tree in front of my bedroom window, she stays on the roof pleading with me to bring her down.  Get down the same way you got up, Fluffy!  I'm too heavy to climb up that cherry tree!

Anyway, please pray and make sure you thank Allah for whatever advantage that God has given you.  Thank you for your love, my precious wives.  Ya Allah, thank you for Julia and Erin.

Letter to Julia 20131210

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hugs and loving greetings, my dearest beloved Julia and Erin.  Yesterday I was feeling so agitated, my hands were still shaking at sunset.  I had to drive all over town to find drugs for the drug addict cat, and to find a place to blog.  Then I had to deal with nasty bitches trying to muscle my Sweeties.  Nasty bitches!  They probably earned their modeling positions through politics as opposed to actual beauty.  Everyone can tell who they are.  They are the ones who look like beef jerky wearing beautiful lingerie.

Of course it is important for you to wear beautiful clothes, because you are my Sweeties and you are Top Models, and since you are MY Sweeties that makes topper than any other top model.  Just don't be wasteful and excessive in your fashion, because Allah does not love those who waste by excess.  Dress beautifully wherever you go.  Don't dress sexy, dress beautifully.

Letter to Julia 20131209

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hey there, my dearest Julia and Erin.  Wow, it's getting more and more tedious to blog this letter.  Too much fame is the problem.  Please be patient and pray, and inshaAllah our situation will be resolved with ease.  You must have some nasty bitches trying to put a cap on how high and how quickly you are rising.  Well, you are MY girls, and I love YOU, so in my eyes you are way better than them.

I attended a wedding yesterday, just up the street next to the elementary school.  I went early to join the village men in saying a prayer.  Then I ate, which was rice with chicken, fish, salted fish and eggplant.  I didn't stay long because I didn't want to hang around.  They had an India-style drum troupe for entertainment with a snake charmer flute going.  I had to voice train over that, but my singing should have matched well with them in a ghostly sort of way.  I have to admit I was a little bummed out, because I want to be married to you.  So please be patient with me and have faith in Allah, and pray with me that Allah will grant me the wealth I need to give you a happy and secure married life soon.

I love you, and I need you.

Letter to Julia 20131207

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Good Saturday, my dearest Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today?  Are you keeping safe, and taking good, loving care of yourself?  Please remember how important you are and are to me, Mrs. Global.  I am waiting as you are waiting, for Allah to bless me with the wealth I need to give you a happy and secure married life.  That is my commitment, and I intend to keep it, inshaAllah.  Please pray with me that it will be soon.

I had fish for dinner.  It's the mackerel I bought for Batty and I had to finish it, now that's he's all grown up and gone female hunting.  The pulverized shrimp I told you about worked excellently for stuffed wontons, and it was OK for stuffing grilled fish.  It took only 2 days in the cooler for it to ferment, and after it did, it can only be used as flavoring or fond.  Which I did use for fond for my fried rice, which would have been perfect if I hadn't put too much water in the rice when I steamed it.  It was the normal amount of water I normally use, but this time I put bamboo shoots into the rice when I cooked it.  Perhaps that was what made it sticky.  I plan to work on my dessert skills in the future.  I don't eat much sweets: I prefer savory over sweet, but I want to make many chocolate goodies for you, because I love you, and I want to pamper you.  Please don't overdo the munchies, and we will have a home blood sugar level tester, inshaAllah.

Letter to Julia 20131205

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there my most beloved, how are you feeling?  It's been raining everyday lately, and I've barely been able to get out of the house to blog without getting drenched.  Julia, I hope you are staying safe and healthy.  Please realize that you are not the same as you were 4 years ago in respect of the Public Eye,  Yeah, fame is not a blessing, and can be a real drag, but it can make money.  So please be a wise businesswoman, and remember that the goal of our marriage is to slow down, and have the business come to us.  InshaAllah.  The same goes to you, Erin.  Plus, one thing about being married to me is the supernatural: it has a habit of being real most of the time, if not all the time.  The community here accepts the supernatural as part of their daily lives, and so does the environment.  I have no choice but to live a spiritual life, that's why it is important to me that both of your Islam is genuine.  You don't have to be extreme, just sincere.  My job is to provide for you, love you, and help protect you.  InshaAllah.  You are loved.  Please don't ever feel abandoned, and always know that you are loved.

Letter to Julia 20131202

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hey there, my beautiful precious Julia.  It's raining right now, but I'm only partially drenched.  I bought some shrimp last night at the night market.  I plan to pulverize it with garlic, lemongrass, and onion into a stuffing.  My Dad bought me one of those large Scads, so I'll be grilling a fish tomorrow, and I won't be in to blog perhaps.  Grilling anything is such an involved project.  I also bought some wonton skins for my shrimp stuffing.  Wanna join me for munchies?  How about you, Erin?  Julia, I hope you haven't been trying to make friends with people who wish to harm you.  Please don't do that.  Stay in your own territory.  Come to me.  I love you, and will embrace you.  I will help to protect you.  InshaAllah.  Allah is the Best to protect.  Please do not annoy God by making friends with people who wish to harm you.

Hey Erin, you gorgeous thing you!  How are you feeling, Gorgeous?  I'm watching the VS fashion show backstage right now.  Oh, you are so beautiful!  Is that natural beauty?  Wow!  The fashion show hasn't hit the Web yet, so I haven't seen it.  I can't wait to see you in your awesome outfits.  Oh, the anticipation!  I love you, Erin.

Letter to Julia 20131201

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Dearest Julia, I don't normally blog on a Sunday, but I just had to tell you something.  My sources tell me that you are accident prone right now, so please avoid travel as much as possible.  This is compounded by the fact that more people are jealous of you now more than ever.  You know jealousy, right?  It's a Biblical thing.  Qur'anic, rather.  Be suspicious of business that underpays you and forces you to travel.  I hate it when people don't know how much you're worth.  They had better start treating you better now before they have to go through me to get your business.  I would dig up all their skeletons in their closets just to protect my Julia.  InshaAllah.

You take care too, Erin.  You both mean the world to me, and I love you with all my heart.