Sunday, November 10, 2013

Letter to Julia 20131111

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there Julia and Erin, my dearest heart.  How are you feeling today?  How are those precious emotions?  I pray you are feeling healthy and confident.  I am alone here and pining for you as usual, because I love you, and I need you.  Please take good loving care of yourselves.

As my wives inshaAllah, you automatically become professional endorsers of food products.  Your outstanding qualification is that you are MY girls.  Mine, mine, MINE.  So please be sure to go with your buddies to your favorite and trusted restaurants and enjoy your favorite foods and non-alcoholic beverages.  For a more potent impact, try to go together.  Julia already knows the limits, so I will state the broad guidelines for your knowledge Erin, if you didn't already know.  No pig, no blood, no carrion, and most importantly before the first bite, say "In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful."  Do not eat of food on which the name of Allah has not been pronounced.  Study verse 5:3 of the Qur'an for a more detailed prohibition, but please know that if you are forced to eat thus by necessity, then Allah is Most Forgiving.  Please be pure and good women, role models for the world, whom Allah has blessed with beautiful souls as well as physiques, inshaAllah.  Although there can be no more secrets in our public life, please know that you are loved.  I love you, and I will help protect you, inshaAllah.  And if God loves you, God is the Best to Protect.  Bon Appetit!

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