Letter to Julia 20121102

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Happy birthday, Julia!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Woo hoo!!  Yeah, I know I'm early, but tomorrow is Friday, and I won't be coming to the Internet cafe because of Friday prayer.  If we happened to be married and lived together, I would make you breakfast in bed.  Ice cream and pizza for breakfast!  And if I were loaded, I would buy you some birthday presents.  I think the rings are kind of gawdy, perhaps something a little more demure?  I don't know the names of flowers yet, so a rose bouquet will have to do.  I'm going to have to visit the fancy flower shop to get something better.  The chocolate is great, though.  You must have some.  And yes Julia, I love you.  Oodles and oodles!

**sob**

Letter to Julia 20121030

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Julia. my beautiful young bride!  I pray you are feeling well, and taking good care of yourself.  There are 2 distinct rings around the full moon this morning.  I already guzzled all that sauerkraut I made, I'm sorry I didn't leave any for you.  That stuff sure goes fast, especially if you cook things in it.

As I told you before, I'm trying to put "wiser" vocals to "Shadowplay's Greatest Hits part 3: the Struggle to be Normal", because I discovered instrumental tracks on my hard drive, as I had lost all the masters when I lost my home studio in America.  There are 2 tracks without instrumentals, "Dragonfly" is one of them.  So right now I'm trying to double the old track, which isn't loud enough.  This is very difficult, not only because the song is difficult to sing to begin with, but I have to match the timing of the old vocal track which can't be heard properly, with new vocals that don't suck.  So I'm having a tough time with that right now, because everything I do sucks.  I can't justify myself.  I'm just trying to compensate for my imperfections.  None of us have the right to justify ourselves.  Allah is the One who purifies.

Now as I think more about it, you will have to bear this little house to some extent, no matter how much money pours in.  This is because of land issues.  There will be land issues no matter what country you live in.  Plus, it would take time to build the proper "Casa de Julia", and we will need to house you while we supervise the construction.  No, I don't have architecture yet.  I'm sorry, but I can't draw.  So, I pray you have a solid image for your house.  No, I'm not trying to justify myself.  I'm just trying to compensate for my imperfections.

Letter to Julia 20121029

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Julia!  Hi Sweetie!  Hi Precious!  Hi Beloved!  How are you feeling today, my love?  My, you are beautiful, aren't you?  I have some good news, my love!  My home made sauerkraut turned out perfect!  It's got zing, and it's got snap, and it's not even a week old yet!  I think I finally figured out a routine on how to combine shredded lettuce, salt, and water in a glass jar.  I made a krautburger, and it was so divine, that I had to have another one.  Want one?  Next step: home made German sausage!

Letter to Julia 20121027

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Dearest Julia, how are you feeling today?  You are the most beautiful girl in the world to me, you are all I could ever dream of in a girl for me.  I love you, and I choose you to be my wife.  I'm not trying to delay our marriage, my love.  You must understand that I must always think about your well-being.  I cannot take any other position than this as regards to our marriage.  That is why I don't want you to marry into my poverty.  At the same time, I have faith that Allah will grant me the means to give you a good and happy marriage.  If you simply can't wait to be married, then all I have is this little house that I live in by the grace of others.  It will need at least a separate bathroom for you, the doorways need to be made taller, and we could probably convert the living room into a bedroom.  Oh yes, we'll need a bed.  I like sleeping on the floor, though.  But whatever you choose to do, please know that I cannot leave the kampung!  This is because of my mission to please Allah with music!  You must accept this!  If you need to go somewhere, then it must be planned way ahead, because I must go with you, because you must not travel alone once we're married.  Otherwise be prepared to stay put and create a family.  Better yet, please be patient, and have faith that Allah will grant us what we need.

I need to remind you not to ask too many questions that it makes your life difficult.  But if you ask questions about the Qur'an as it is being revealed to you, then Allah will forgive that.  It has been raining everyday lately.  The odd thing is that I have a sunburn on my chest.  So I treat it with the snake oil I told you about.  Snake oil is great for itchy rashes and sunburns, but I'm running out.  I might have to open your bottle.  Don't worry, we'll go find the snake oil guy and buy more.  InsyaAllah.

Qur'an 20121027

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

30.  Or do they say, "A poet!  We await for him some calamity by time!"

31.  Say you, "Await you!  I too will wait along with you!"

32.  Is it that their faculties of understanding urge them to this, or are they but a people transgressing beyond bounds?

33.  Or do they say, "He fabricated this?"  No, they have no faith!

34.  Let them produce a recital like unto it, if they speak the truth!

The Mountain 52:30-34
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Await you!  I too will wait along with you!

Letter to Julia 20121024

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Julia, my love.  How are you feeling today?  I don't know if you receive these letters, but I write anyway because I love you, and I want to marry you.  I won't be coming in tomorrow to post a letter because I'll be fasting, and I just want to sleep all day.  Yes, it's lazy, but so am I.  Friday is the Hajj Eid, so I won't be coming in that day either.

They say the life of a showbiz pro is tough.  Yeah, it's tough: I've been in the business for over 30 years now.  Since I was a teenager.  They say a pop idol is very busy, and works long hours, and has to be very social.  But I don't want to be idolized.  I'd rather they idolize Allah.  They say a pop idol has be friendly to the media, and photograph well.  But I hate the media, and I don't want to be photographed.  I'd rather they photograph Julia.  They say a pop idol has to go everywhere, and do a lot of traveling.  But I'm sick of traveling, and people are the same everywhere.  I think I'll take a nap instead.  They say that a pop idol has to put out as much music as possible.  But I'm too lazy to do that, I want to watch Shadowplay TV, play video games, read comics, and snuggle with my sweetie.  I think I'll just record music whenever I feel good about it, and when it's fun.  They say a pop idol has to spend late nights at clubs and parties.  But I'm too lazy to do that.  I just want to snuggle with my sweetie and make the love.  They say I'm ignorant.  I say I'm lazy.  They say that's why I'm poor.  But I was poor back when I did everything they said I should do.  Since that's the case, then I'd rather be lazy.

Letter to Julia 20121023

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

I'm not trying to delay anything my dearest Julia, I truly and dearly want to be married to you.  It is so important to me that I take good care of you, and your well-being is uppermost on my mind.  For I do love you so, my dearest heart.  I want you to be happy with me.

We are commanded not to join others in worship with Allah.  As my wife, it is extremely important that take this stand with me, after all, we don't want to be deified, right?  If they think the music is divine, then they must thank Allah, and worship Allah.  Some people call me ignorant, probably because they think there is nothing wrong with idol worship.  They assert it's just innocent teenage fun, and does no harm.  We in the industry have seen much harm done to the innocent because they want to make it in showbiz.  Or be a successful model.  No, don't worship us.  Worship Allah.

Letter to Julia 20121022

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Julia, my precious young bride.  How are you feeling?  I have just had a long spell of outpouring regarding my fantastic situation and love to my uncle and aunt.  I don't talk much anyway, but it is her land my house is on, so I talked for their entertainment I suppose, and now I feel a little sick.  Since I have no privacy, the conversation is probably all over the Internet now.  Oh Allah, I must seem to everyone a complete lunatic.  Or a sorcerer.  I just want to create a tourist attraction that glorifies Allah.  The topic rested on you, how I came to choose you for my wife, your Islam, and that you are wealthy and I am poor.  You don't think you are wealthy?  Would you finance our marriage?  Even if you said you would, how can I believe you?  How can you ever have respect for me if I am unable to buy you things, and help pay for our family?  I would only be able to believe you if you absolutely believe in my "sabilillah" (cause for Allah).  But even that is not necessary.  I have begged Allah and will continue to beg Allah to grant me my own wealth so I can give you a good married life.  Until Allah grants me the means to marry you, please be patient with me, and wait with me, and pray for us.

This is part of the cutting edge that I have trying to teach you about, and a glimpse of how our life as a progressive couple will be, that we can be stationary but still ahead of the others.  InsyaAllah.  If you're not on the edge, then you're not where you're supposed to be (an American proverb).  Right?  But being on the edge doesn't mean that we can't have a peaceful and happy family.  Just remember that it is Allah who grants peace and security.

I love you.

Letter to Julia 20121020

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my beloved young Julia!  You are my beautiful princess!  I pray you are taking good care of yourself, that you are eating properly, and getting sufficient rest.  I'm making rice and steak in lime leaves, onions and peppers.  No, there isn't a portion for you tonight.  Besides, you never show up for dinner.  But it's not that, if steak is on the menu, and I keep on eating your portion, then I'll bloat much faster.  I'm old enough as it is, and my metabolism has slowed down.  Or maybe I just don't feel like sharing.  I love you anyhows, and when you do start showing up for dinner, I'll prepare enough steak.  Good cuts of beef today, too.  Very juicy.

As I mentioned before, what I am forced to do right now is to sing as a sort of community service.  But it is the right thing to do, praise Allah, to create something good for everyone here instead of being enslaved.  It would be wonderful to destroy the current system of entertainment industry, which is thoroughly evil.  Allah can do that, do you have faith?  Whether I submit to or resist them, the global situation remains, with all its danger.  So I might as well resist them, and create something good for the community, a situation that glorifies Allah and kicks the butt of global mass media.  InsyaAllah.  I don't feel or think that I am anybody special, Julia.  It is my responsibility to serve Allah with what Allah has given me.  I don't expect these people to treat me any better than the atheists and the pagans treated me while I was in America.  And they don't.  Allah has been a better friend, and protects better, so I seek to please Allah.  Perhaps soon Allah will grant me my own wealth so I can give you a good married life.  Ya Allah, please protect and bless us here in this situation, who serve and adore You.

Letter to Julia 20121018

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Oh, my beautiful and precious young Julia!  Please forgive me for the gap in my love letters.  I'm so sorry.  I love you, I love you, I love you.  It's just that I had to cut back on my Internet time and commuting, because I suddenly got poorer than my usual destitute self at the beginning of the month.  Please don't be angry with me.  You are my girl, I love you and I want to marry you.

There is certainly a flood of confusion, and in that confusion there are certainly many idiots who add lies to confusion, in their confusion.  Of course being here and seeing with your own eyes what is going on is the closest to truth, but you are probably busy with your work as you should be.  So please know that I love you, and that you have my commitment to marry you.

Letter to Julia 20121014

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my sweetness.  How are you feeling, Julia?  I'm watching the Sailor Moon marathon on Shadowplay TV.  You must be a little too young for Sailor Moon, huh?  Let's see... 1992.  What were you doing in 1992?  You were 8 or 7 years old?  Hey, November 2 is close by!  Happy birthday, my beloved!  8 years old is perfect for watching Sailor Moon.  but you must have been into sports instead, I suppose.  I'm just an otaku, or more accurately, a Sailor Moon otaku.  Episode 9 is so funny, when Usagi gets hexed with an impatience spell.  The first season is very creepy funny, but it's the ambience that I love most.  Very surreal.  I guess it was surreal for me because in 2003, a year after Andre died, my apartment building was sold to a new landlord, so renovations were made, and I had to stay temporarily at an empty apartment downstairs.  That's when I received the dvd of the first season of Sailor Moon, which I watched on my 2" lcd tv.  Soon after, the new landlord evicted me (even though I was always prompt with rent), but praise Allah there was an empty apartment across the yard belonging to someone else, an exact mirror duplicate, upstairs even.  Say, that should be the next Bond villain: an evil landlord!

Woo hoo!  I have a new record on Krush, Kill and Destroy: 26,777 kills in 3.5 hours!  Gaming purists would wonder why I don't play Warcraft instead, but Kknd moves much faster, and each army can have up to 1000 units on the field at a time.  So I face 5 armies to rack up the kills.  Of course, I choose the high ground.  Secure the high ground NOW, before you all run out of time!  The computer calculates the weak spots, then sends in massive numbers.  What a callous general the computer is!  That's when the most entertaining mayhem and chaos occurs, when the field is packed, things move like lightning, and you can't find the cursor.  Yeah, I'm lazy and should be doing something more constructive, but it helps me bide the time as I wait for Allah to allow me to have you.  But I did manage to watch Sailor Moon as I played video games!  Efficient loafing!

Letter to Julia 20121012

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello again, my beautiful Julia.  How are you feeling?  Please take good loving care of yourself and your precious body, because I love you, and I want to be married to you.  I have never been married.  You do know that, right?  I'm not a prophet.  I'm not an imam, or religious leader.  I am not a Rasul (messenger).  If I am any sort of "messenger", then it's the same message that prophet Muhammad (peace be on him) conveys, and I am his follower.  Who I am a is rock star.  And you are a supermodel.  You are my girl.  I love you, and I want to marry you.

Letter to Julia 20121010

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello Julia, my beloved young princess.  How are you feeling today?  You must be working hard as usual, so please make sure you are eating properly, and getting sufficient rest.  I tried making steamed buns for lunch today.  I'm sure you are familiar with that food... it's like dim sum, but a bun.  So I made a batch of dough, my standard simple routine, just flour, water, yeast, oil and salt.  And I borrowed my Mom's steamer.  FOr the filling, it was liver and onions, in liver sauce.  Which was quite good by itself, alhamdulillah.  But the bun itself needed to be more like a cake, so next time I'll have to add sugar and an egg to the dough.  Giving the dough a chance to rise would have helped too.

There is much international flavor for you, Mrs. Global!  And the beauty of it is that you don't really have to go anywhere.  InsyaAllah.  Don't forget that Islam is between you and God, and that it has little to do with you and me.  So much drama.  Everything seems to be a matter of life and death to everyone.  People are so intoxicated by fame.  Me, I feel the same way I did 10 years ago, and in the same situation, but poorer.  You my queen, please maintain your composure of regal purity and integrity.

Qur'an 20121010

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

13.  O mankind!  We created you from of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other.  Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you, and Allah has full knowledge, and is well acquainted.

14.  The Arabs say, "We believe."  Say, "You have no faith, but you say, 'We have submitted our wills to Allah,' for not yet has Faith entered your hearts.  But if you obey Allah and God's Messenger, God will not belittle aught of your deeds, for Allah is Oft-forgiving, most Merciful."

15.  Only those are Believers who have believed in Allah and God's Messenger, and have never since doubted, but have striven with their belongings and their persons in the Cause of Allah: such are the sincere ones.

16.  Say, "What!  Will you instruct Allah about your religion?  But Allah knows all that is in the heavens and on earth.  Allah has full knowledge of all things."

17.  They impress on you as a favor that they have embraced  Islam.  Say, "Count not your Islam as a favor upon me.  No, Allah has conferred a favor upon you that God has guided you to the Faith, if you be true and sincere."

18.  Verily Allah knows the secrets of the heavens and the earth, and Allah sees well all that you do.

The Chambers 49:13-18
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You have no faith, but you say, "We have submitted our wills to Allah," for not yet has Faith entered your hearts.  But if you obey Allah and God's Messenger, God will not belittle aught of your deeds, for Allah is Oft-forgiving, most Merciful.

What!  Will you instruct Allah about your religion?  But Allah knows all that is in the heavens and on earth.  Allah has full knowledge of all things.

Count not your Islam as a favor upon me.  No, Allah has conferred a favor upon you that God has guided you to the Faith, if you be true and sincere.

Letter to Julia 20121008

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my beloved Julia.  How are you feeling?  I'm sorry I didn't make it in yesterday, but I had to run an errand.  Did you know that Shadowplay is a legitimately registered business in Malaysia?  I registered it 2 years ago, but of course no money came in.  So I was late in renewing it this year.  They didn't like that, so I got slapped with a fine and made me renew for 5 years at a time.  But hey, it is cool that Shadowplay is a global brand based in Malaysia.   My number is RA0021863-H.  The next step is to generate income.... for myself!

Needless to say that I'm tapped out after paying for that.  After all, I still rely on my Mommy to feed and house me.  So I will have to cut back on my internet hours.  Please forgive me if I don't post a love letter as frequently.  I still love you with all my heart.  I will always love with all my heart.

On Sunday, I had a disastrous time cooking.  Most unblessed.  I had to re-roast my snack peanuts because they weren't snappy enough, and I burned half of them.  The noodles I bought were terribly bitter for some reason, and ruined my curry noodles.  I wasted all the curry my Mom gave me.  The okra I picked from my yard was like leather, and they were baby ones too!  So I gave up on food for the rest of the day.  I suppose it was God's way of reminding me not to register Shadowplay as a food business.

Letter to Julia 20121006

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi Sexy!  Yes, you are a very sexy thing Julia, and you don't even have to try.  It comes naturally for you.  But that's not what I want from you.  Want I want is your chastity.  I want your integrity.  I want your nobility.  In return, I will give the same, insyaAllah.  You are a princess, and I want you to have a demeanor of purity.  You are my princess, and I love you.  I want to marry you.

Qur'an 20121005

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

11.  The Arabs who lagged behind will say to you, "We were engaged in our flocks and herds, and our families, do you then ask forgiveness for us?"  They say with their tongues what is not in their hearts.  Say, "Who then has any power in your behalf with Allah, if God's Will is to give you some loss, or to give you some profit?  But Allah is well acquainted with all that you do."

12.  No, you thought that the Messenger and the Believers would never return to their families. This seemed pleasing to your hearts, and you conceived an evil thought, for you are a people lost.

13.  And if any believe not in Allah and God's Messenger, We have prepared for the unbelievers, a blazing Fire!

14.  To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth.  God forgives whom God wills, and God punishes whom God wills; but Allah is Oft-Forgiving, most Merciful.

15.  Those who lagged behind say, "When you march and take booty, permit us to follow you."  They wish to change Allah's decree.  Say, "Not thus will you follow us.  Allah has already declared beforehand."  Then they will say, "But you are jealous of us!"  No, but little do they understand.

16.  Say to the Arabs who lagged behind, "You shall be summoned to fight against a people given to vehement war.  Then shall you fight, or they shall submit.  Then if you show obedience, Allah will grant you a goodly reward, but if you turn back as you did before, God will punish you with a Grievous Penalty."

17.  No blame is there on the blind, nor is there blame on the lame, nor on one ill.  But he that obeys Allah and God's Messenger.... Will admit him to Gardens beneath which rivers flow.  And he who turns back.... Will punish him with a Grievous Penalty.

The Victory 48:11-17
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Who then has any power in your behalf with Allah, if God's Will is to give you some loss, or to give you some profit?  But Allah is well acquainted with all that you do.

Not thus will you follow us.  Allah has already declared beforehand.

You shall be summoned to fight against a people given to vehement war.  Then shall you fight, or they shall submit.  Then if you show obedience, Allah will grant you a goodly reward, but if you turn back as you did before, God will punish you with a Grievous Penalty.

Letter to Julia 20121004

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hey Gorgeous!  How are you feeling today, my Julia?  Right now, I'm watching an Iron Chef marathon on Shadowplay TV.  Ah, king crab!  I do miss king crab.  Not only did it have a high quantity of meat, it never needed salt.  These smaller crabs don't really cut it for me, unless they're really tiny, like about the size of a quarter.  Then I can fry them up until crispy, and eat them whole.  Like crackers.

Aaaah!  I no know no mas how to speekee zee Eengleesh!  I meant to say, "I was worked until injured".  I'm getting old, Julia.  Colors can get really confusing to me.  I went to buy a new toilet seat at the wholesale store, and I had a choice between white and grey.  The white ones looked disgusting, even though new, so I bought a grey one.  When I went home and installed it, it turned pink.  No!  Not a pink toilet seat!

Letter to Julia 20121003

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

It is I again, your love, my love!  Julia, you are so beautiful.  Whoops!  I accidently deleted all of my Victoria's Secret fashion shows when my mouse slipped as I was rearranging my video files.  Look like I won't be looking at your half naked friends anymore.  I still have the shows I encoded into Shadowplay TV, but that's in low definition.  Oh, well.  For some reason the computer didn't delete the 2011 show.  I'm sorry, Julia.  I love you so much.  I wish you were here with me.

Anyway, with both sides of the government obviously lacking foresight and cannot be relied on, this leaves the community to invest in itself.  And it is a global community.  At least give the visitors a proper place to hang out as they listen in silence.  Let them worship Allah if they will.  Back in America, I was worked in food business until injury, and forced into homelessness.  Allah saved me, and moved me to Malaysia 3 months before the financial meltdown.  But I was the only one who glorified Allah.  Today, both this situation and circumstance glorify Allah.  There is no "potential" in this situation: it is already what it is.  Right now, it is my parents who feed and house me, and I cannot afford to marry my Julia.  But my parents are old, and will pass away soon.  What will happen then?  Since I work in global mass media, the world is watching.  If you study the Qur'an, you will know that Allah destroys entire communities when they persist in denying Allah.  But you can't just blame the locals.  Stinginess is human nature.  And from my example, it is humans who are needy.  Allah doesn't need us.

Letter to Julia 20121002

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi again Julia, my precious young beauty.  Hmm, let's think: a monkey is typically a mischievous, and occasionally treacherous being.  A big, black monkey would mean a particularly sombre and dangerous one.  Ahem.  I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the accursed...."And among God's Signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the living creatures that God has scattered through them, and God has Power to gather them together when God wills (Consultation 42:29)."  Let's see, I have a  book of dreams that says that a monkey means "betrayal and deceit are imminent."  To follow the Qur'an would be more accurate and halal, and a monkey is generally a pretty nasty critter.  Ya Allah, please send a python to eat the big, black monkey.

I am a servant of Allah.  My mission is to please Allah with music.  This music, this singing is granted by Allah.  I am inspired by the Qur'an, by Allah to stand my ground here, in Perlis, and create a mass media and entertainment attraction that pleases Allah.  This is a global attraction, by the consent of Allah.

It is not logical for a government of a polyglot country to provide absolute support for my spiritual agenda, for 2 main reasons.  The first is that it is forced to be secular to please all religions and no religion, while I cannot be secular, because being secular means to deny the involvement of God.  The second is that since entertainment is a global business, the government has to conform to standard business protocol of the global mass media.  Then, they have already sunk money and effort to other tourist attractions.  Which means I will be forced to travel, and compromise my spiritual agenda.  Plus forced to submit to other things that the entertainment business is infamous for.  Plus politicians, like corporate executives, change the deal when they change jobs, retire or get sacked.  Which leaves me no choice but to register myself as a private business, sing as an act of community service, and leave it to Allah to consistently flood this place with fanatical tourists.  InsyaAllah.  Perhaps then I will be able to make a living, and afford to marry my Julia.

And you are my love.  Right now is the time to fight for peace, not  to cry for peace.  Stand together with me, and be my love.  I love you.