Hi Honey

How are you feeling today, my love?  I hope everything is going well for you, and you are having a great time.  It's been an active day for me.  The morning, though starting early, went kind of slow.  I went and bought breakfast for my parents, then watched a movie. Then I made my ramen lunch, before I had to go to the mosque for Friday prayer.  After voice training, I toiled in the yard all evening.  Wow!  I really cranked out those chores.  I used up a whole tank of gas in the chainsaw, cutting off a huge limb of a mango tree over at your house inshaAllah then breaking it down, then cutting down other oversized saplings in the yard.  It sure was sweaty, smelly, manly work.  I'm hungry!  I've had 3 meals today, and I'm still hungry.  That's what I get for eating out.

Oh Natty Honey, you are so pretty!  Wow, you beautiful, sensitive girl.  Wow, no nose hairs.  Incredible!  You enjoy your nap now, make sure you get lots of beauty sleep.  The movie I watched today was "Falling Down".  No, you don't have to watch it.  I do think it's a good movie, and I enjoyed it.

The food chase

Hi Honey!  How are you, my dearest?  How's work?  Oh I'm doing OK here, I just had dinner.  I made curry pups: quick and easy and tasty and filling.  I figured out how Floofy got constipated recently despite my efforts to make sure she ate properly.  It has something to do with the feeding ritual.  Floofy eats rice and canned cat food, so I put that together in a bowl then take it to my bedroom, serve it to her and shut the door.  The rest of the cats get solid cat food.  Luka has that restraining collar on, so she gets a separate bowl which I give her in the kitty litter room.  Doutzen and Chee Cheah share the same bowl, which I set down in the kitchen.  Then I go back to my bedroom and wait for Floofy to finish eating.  Then Luka appears at the door, wanting to come in.  But she didn't finish her food: she wants to taste her mother's food, so she comes to the bedroom.  Instead Doutzen goes and eats the rest of Luka's food, leaving Chee Cheah with too much food.  When Floofy is finished with her food, I let Luka in to lick the bowl while Floofy goes out.  Since Chee Cheah is elderly and is missing some teeth, there is still plenty of food left in her bowl, which Floofy eats up.  That is how she got constipated.

Hi Natty Honey!  Oh, are you mad at me?  Ah, you don't like people gossiping about you!  Especially when it's rancid back-stabbing kind of gossip.  Relax people, it's probably some other girl that had those tight jeans.  Don't worry Sweetie, I just cleaned your ear and the itching will soon go away.  Perhaps it's because people don't know who you are in NYC that you seek attention.  I thought I told you to move to Paris...  But you enjoy the gossip!  But you don't enjoy the gossip?  But you enjoy the gossip?  But you don't enjoy the gossip?  Don't seek fame Honey, it's not a blessing.  You are in a situation where fame will come naturally, so don't seek it.  Please stay away from boys.

It's rerun day on Shadowplay TV!  Dorothy Stratten got killed because she took pity on some creep then married him.  Dorothy and I share the same birthday.  If Pisces is the best woman and the worst man, what's going to happen to me?  I don't believe in astrology.  I put my faith in Allah.  Anyway, watch and learn!

Chicken and mushrooms

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  I hope you are feeling and doing great.  Are you hungry?  I found some excellent oyster mushrooms a couple of days ago at the night market.  They were sparkling white and so juicy, they were dripping with water.  I was shopping for stuff to put in my ramen soup, but for dinner today I made steamed rice with chicken and mushrooms.  I don't have a physical addiction to rice like many others around here like my Dad and Floofy, but I like it.  I usually have rice twice a week or so.  I still have the awesome BBQ sauce I made during Ramadan.  Yeah it's a month old, but it's just sauce and spices, no meats or perishables in there.  InshaAllah it's fine.  And I torched it to death in the saucepan in hot oil before putting the vegetables in.  I put the chicken breast in last and I always cook chicken breast gently, so it's nice and tender.  It's a really nice dinner.  Do you want some?

Hi Natty Honey!  You're welcome to my dinner, of course.  The purpose of our marriage is partly to share our food.  I hope you like rice.  Oh, but you got me started on tights and tight jeans.  I used to wear tight jeans when I was younger.  I don't know why, en vogue I guess.  I even had a pair of bike shorts back then, back in the day of MC Hammer (ugh).  I don't know why I wore that, because I hate rap.  I guess I was just a foolish slave of fashion.  One might figure that to wear such tight clothes over one's privates would accelerate bacterial activity and fermentation of sweat, but that's a non-issue if we regularly shower and do laundry.  Do I like tights and tight jeans?  It depends on the woman, I guess.  I wouldn't wear them personally.  What I really want is an air-conditioned pair of pants to keep it nice and cool and well-ventilated down there.  Has anyone invented that yet?

My girl

My girl has a tough job.  She has to have faith that I will afford to pay for our marriage, even though I'm poor right now.  Everyone knows she's beautiful, everyone wants her, everyone knows her because she's my girl.  That's why her bosses love her, because she's big money.  She brings in the big bucks, because she's my girl.  All this attention is not a blessing, but it is also a blessing.  Everything is a blessing in this crazy life, this is the spiritual road, the high road, and we work towards God and place our faith in God.  It's not as if I can go around apologizing to everyone, and they will leave us alone.  We can only remain steadfast and pray, and things will turn out fine inshaAllah.  I love you, Honey.  You are beautiful, and everybody knows it.  Alhamdulillah.

Hey Natty Honey!  Hm.  You do look like you are having fun, but it doesn't seem all that weird to me.  It seems so very normal...  Tights and tight jeans are a modern female phenomena.  I see them everywhere nowadays, on all types of women, outer or underwear.  Someone explained to me that it was like being held tight.  It's clearly an advantage of not having balls, that one can wear tights and tight jeans.  Anyway, the computer wants you to watch "Star Wars: The Last Jedi".  Yes Honey, take your buddies along and buy into the franchise, then wonder about the next installment in this much beloved series.  Will Rey have sex with Ren?

Express yourself

Hi Honey.  I hope you are feeling great, and work is easy for you.  It's been an intense year for you so far, and you've seen past the haze as to where in the world you stand.  Yeah big business is scary, but the alternate is scary too.  To be unnoticed, to be walked over.  So please express yourself, don't keep your feelings and perspective bottled up inside, especially if it can make the world a better place, because you definitely have the influence to do so.  You are beautiful, and you are a beautiful person, and I love you with all of my heart.  My cat Floofy got constipated again today.  I had determined that it was the solid cat food that did it to her, so I cut it out of her diet.  But rice and wet cat food gave her diarrhea, so I added a little crushed solid cat food to the mix to temper her tummy.  But she got constipated again today.  I couldn't even get the enema in her, because the poop blocked her butthole, and ended up blocking the nozzle of the enema.  So I thought to give her a little time, since it looked like it was about to come out eventually, and did my chores to pass the time.  But the poop didn't come out, so I put on a latex glove and pulled it out, the cat growling and snarling away.  At least I could get the enema in now, so I gave her a few hours before I administered the enema, with the cat growling and snarling away.  I was blessed not to get mauled.  But she was able to pass the entire blockage and boy, it was a mess I tell you.  The experience made her throw up her breakfast.  So sensitive.  So no more mixing in crushed cat food pellets to temper her stomach.  We'll have to go with the diarrhea, and hope her body adapts to it.

You too Natty, don't be afraid to express yourself.  Don't keep your feelings bottled up.  I know you dislike people talking about you, whether it be positive or whatever, but the worst they can do to you is to shut you up.  Yeah, big business is scary.  But being intimidated into silence is not a blessing.  So please do not be afraid to use your Instagram regularly.  I am with you.  I will always be with you inshaAllah.  I will take care of you inshaAllah.

Hi Honey

Hi there, my beautiful Erin.  Please don't be mad at me, because I love you so much.  I know you must be very busy, probably living out of a suitcase, because everybody loves you and wants you.  So please get lots of rest and relaxation time.  Try not to stay occupied.  Spend lots of time doing nothing.  I love just vegging out and being lazy.  I don't do that often, but I love doing it, and I would love to do it with you.  Just snuggle and be with you.  But there's always something to do, especially until then.  I cleaned my mother's bedroom this morning.  I made a cheese omelet for lunch.  I cut the grass after voice training.  I made one of those huge curry pups for dinner, plus a couple of hot dog pups.  Hot dogs cooked up as calzones, and enjoyed with mustard.  You have to cut up those hot dogs, or they will expand and burst through the dough.  After this I'll go to the mosque, then after that I'll stay on Second Life until I pass out, and run the other computer at the same time.

Hi Natty Honey!  Oh, everybody wants the beautiful college graduate!  I want you too, Gorgeous.  Have you seen those musicals "Chicago" and "Moulin Rouge"?  You don't have to see them.  Because they're not that great.  The music was poor, and it ruined the movies.  Which is a shame, because I think Danny Elfman is a great writer of music.  Too bad the stars weren't great singers.  I guess Hollywood hasn't made a good musical since "Grease".  The movies looked great, but I guess you can't "razzle dazzle" with bad music.

Chicago

Hi Honey!  Have you been busy?  Oh my poor, hardworking Sweetheart... you are so beautiful, and I love you so much.  Please take the time to get adequate rest, and try not go anywhere if you're not working.  Partying is hard work too, I'm sure you know.  But I'm sure you're earning the big bucks now.  Alhamdulillah.  Please don't waste it, and don't turn into a fat cat.  Ever since I started giving Floofy soft food instead of the cat food pellets, her tummy has been doing so much better.  But her breath is awful!  It's not coming from the mouth, either.  That breath is coming from the stomach.  Maybe I should mix some mint in with her food, but I better not.  Want some gum?  I saw the movie "Chicago" for the first time last night.  It was visually breathtaking, but I didn't like the music that much.  I guess it was acceptable for the time period, but the singing was awful.  I saw Harvey Weinstein's name in the credits.  Did he have sex with everybody in the movie?  Even Richard Gere?  Richard Gere shouldn't be singing.  I don't think I ever want to see that movie again.

Hi Natty Honey!  Is life wild and crazy for you again?  The difference is now you have a college degree.  Yay Natty!  After I watched "Chicago", I followed that with "Moulin Rouge".  These two movies, modern musicals I guess, were very impressive visually.  Great to look at.  Mind boggling.  But the music is just ugh!  I thought the music for "Chicago" was bad, but the music of "Moulin Rouge" was worse.  I couldn't even enjoy looking at the movie because I was cringing all the time because of the music.  I couldn't finish the movie.  If Kurt Cobain were alive today, he would kill himself after watching that movie.