Uh oh

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling today?  I hope you are getting used to who you are and who you have become.  It's certainly not VS!  It's been a poopy kind of day for me.  That's right- Floofy got constipated again.  I don't know what it is about her tummy, but she generates human sized poop.  And when she eats the cat food pellets, her poop becomes hard.  I changed her diet to rice and canned cat food, but I added a few pellets of the ordinary stuff to the mix because she was getting diarrhea.  But I suppose she can't have any of the ordinary stuff whatsoever, because she got stopped up again.  It wasn't as advanced as it was the last time, but you can feel that hardness in her if you pressed down on her tummy.  Of course I got frantic.  I love my kitty.  Laxative doesn't work on that stuff, so I had to give her an enema.  The vet gave me some extra enemas, the problem is how do I give an enema to a struggling cat?  I only have 2 hands.  So I grabbed her by the scruff of her neck with my left hand, pinned the tip of her fluffy tail with my jaw to my chest, and chased her butt hole around with the nozzle of the enema.  I spilled a lot of the fluid, but I got a good amount in there and it was enough alhamdulillah.  Dear God, that poop was BIG.  And hard.  I showed the poop to her, but she refused to look at it.  It was as big as a kitten!  It was bigger than a kitten!  Floofy, this came out of your butt!

Hi Natty Honey!  Are you having tons of fun?  Are you making lots of money?  You might turn into a fat cat if you're not careful.  Well, God bless you, and I love you.  Please give thanks to Allah.  Make lots of money while you can, but be sure to take care of your health.  Eat properly and gets lots of rest.  God gave you natural beauty, so look after it and don't try to change it.  Grow old with dignity.  Start young.

Express yourself

Honey, are you having difficulty expressing yourself?  In light of what happened, I can understand your fear.  But whatever it was certainly was not your fault, so please don't blame yourself.  You are who you are, and you are my wife inshaAllah, and I love you.  Your Instagram is power to you, now more than it ever has been, so you might as well post.  Don't allow your voice to be suppressed.  More people need you and love you than you know.

If you would come be with me on Second Life, then I will give you my email, so you can talk directly to me.  If you were there with me, then I would have no need for an apprentice.  Gwen is strictly for business use, entertainment business.  Meet me in Second Life, and you will know for certain that this is true.

How's it going with you, Natty?  Happy Mother's Day, by the way.  I love you, Mom!  My Mom had to tell me it was Mother's Day.  I have trouble keeping up with public holidays and the like.  I can remember birthdays and anniversaries inshaAllah, but otherwise it's all the same old day to me.  Please forgive me for my flaws.  The fasting month of Ramadan begins on Thursday inshaAllah.  If you didn't know what fasting is as it pertains to Islam, fasting is no eating, drinking, sexual activity, and swearing, from dawn to sunset, for the sake of God.  Don't pick your nose, either.  I'm not telling you to fast, Honey.  Wait until we get married.  Fasting during Ramadan is pointless if you're not a Muslim.

Patience

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling today?  Do you like being the center of attention?  I guess it depends on your mood: sometimes you do and sometimes you don't.  To me, it's all the same.  I don't even pay attention to stuff like that anymore.  In fact, I only look in the mirror to trim my nose hairs (I can't sing with those damned hairs vibrating).  I guess I want my Erin.  I want my wives.  By then, I guess I would to start dressing sharper.  As for right now, my avatar is well-dressed and looks great on my behalf.  Avatars are really quite useful.  What are you having for dinner?  I shouldn't have had that salad for lunch yesterday.  I normally eat only 2 meals a day, and since I had a salad for lunch, my left shoulder and side was aching all last night, even though I had a couple of burgers for dinner.  It wasn't until I ate the leftover noodles in the morning that the pain went away.  I definitely have to eat big for the early morning meal during the fasting month.  And chug lots of water.

Hi Natty Honey!  Oh, you're so pretty!  It must be awesome to be you.  Today the computer wants you to watch another movie: "Beetlejuice" from 1988.  Oh, them ghostly marriages!  I estimate that I have about 7 dead women in me.  Dead singers, mashaAllah.  So I guess you would have to expect a few ghosts in your marriage to me.  Makes life exciting, I guess.  You get used to it.  It's an everyday thing for me.  The other day, I was browsing for a bar of soap when some bars of soap were knocked off the shelf for me.  So I bought that brand of soap.  Good choice, too.  The Qur'an is very handy at dealing with the supernatural inshaAllah.  I suppose it depends on one's level of knowledge and sincerity.

The Drum

Hi Honey!  Sorry I'm running a little late today, I got carried away working on my drum.  I hope you are doing OK, and keeping calm.  People are behaving rather frenzied with all this political activity lately, I anticipate you must be trying to hide.  Don't be afraid of people, Honey.  Put your fear in God.  God is the only One Who can adequately protect us and grant us happiness.  I have to admit that I'm a little agitated and irritated with people's behavior, but eventually my experience will get a hold of me again and I will calm down.  That's one good thing about growing older, is experience.  I've been a musician for 39 years already.  Yikes!

Isn't that your Mom's age, Natty Honey?  Almost, I bet.  So what's for dinner today?  What are you having?  Guess what I had for lunch today... a salad!  Yes, I stopped to buy some greens, picked up some spinach, and got more for my money than I expected.  I was going to put it in my ramen, but I had so much that I decided to make a salad instead.  A spinach salad with eggs and onions, using Heinz's Salad Cream.  I don't usually eat salads, but I can make a good salad because I used to make them all the time at the pizza joint.  Dressings, and all.  Want some?

Oh I finally finished my drum!  I have it  tuned up and all.  Yes, those are cable ties you see.  I'm so happy with it!  It's so loud... it sounds like thunder, the entire spectrum of thunder.  I need someone to play it for me, so I can go outside and hear what it sounds like from far away.

Coup de gras

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  I wish you were here with me, so we can snuggle and kiss.  I hope you are doing well though, and life is going smoothly and easily for you.  It's another average day for me.  I did my usual chores, had ramen for lunch... I love ramen!  Oh and I cut the grass at the side of the road, it was just getting too long and messy.  Nobody else is going to do it, obviously.  Now that the political season is over, I can show my face again to people, so I went out and bought a packet of noodles and some scallions.  I made chicken chow mein for dinner.  I promise you that you will love my fried noodles inshaAllah, I've got the routine down pat now, and today I used chicken broth for an extra flavor kick.  Plus, they're delicious when cold too.  If you were to raid the fridge at midnight, my leftover fried noodles would be the first thing you would nab!

Hi Canada!  How are you doing, Natty Sweetheart?  Want some chicken chow mein?  It's awesome!  Today, the computer wants you to watch another Jim Carrey movie.  I love "Dumb and Dumber".  It's a true classic, and a comedic masterpiece.  His best work.  I think of scenes from that movie and start laughing to myself at random times.  But today, please watch "Liar Liar" from 1997.  It kind of goes with the political season, I guess.

Cashew

Hi Honey!  How's it going with you today?  I hope that you are healthy, and feeling absolutely great.  You are so precious to me, and I love you.  There's nothing much going on around here for me.  I did go and vote, but otherwise it's just another average day.  I went early to vote, but there was a long line and I got a bit sunburned.  Then I did my laundry.  I usually do my laundry in my Mom's washer every Wednesday.  I think later on I'll practice bass a little.  Playing the same stuff over and over again, you know, so I don't make any mistakes.

Hi Natty Honey!  How are you, my darling?  What did you eat today?  I have a 5 year old cashew tree in my yard, and it's already bearing fruit.  Last year I got 5 fruit, and this year it looks like I'll be getting 4.  It's just a baby tree.  I picked my first ripe cashew for this year's season.  Alhamdulillah!  The seed is outside the fruit for a cashew, and the seed is where we get cashew nuts, that you normally see.  The seed pod is filled with a sticky yellow resin around the nut, so I don't know how they roast it.  I eat the fruit, sliced with onions, hot pepper, and salt.  Today, I ate that with my Mom's fried rice.

This is my apprentice, Gwen.

One day left

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling today?  It must be a nice change for you to watch instead of be watched, I reckon.  As much as it is possible, that is.  It's not easy for me and my family to escape the Public Eye.  Speaking of which, tomorrow is Election Day and thus the end of the political season.  Thank God!  Alhamdulillah!  I hate politics.  I will never run for office nor climb the Islamic hierarchy, inshaAllah.  I have a bad reputation, and no ambition.  I am not a politician, nor an imam.  I am merely a rock star.

Happy Birthday to your brother, Natty Honey.  He seems like he's doing OK.  I can't recognize where you are in that photo, but it looks like a movie set, maybe southern Utah or New Mexico.  Just guessing.  Don't worry so much about your big brother, Honey.  He's a grown man, and wants his own choices.  Yeah, entertainment business is dangerous.  But if a man has powerful enemies, then he should seek refuge with Allah.  There is none more powerful than God.  Have faith, and pray.

If you are curious about the mentality of my parents, then you should watch more P. Ramlee movies.  Natty Honey, today the computer wants you to watch "Anakku Sazali" (My child Sazali) from 1956.  Just in time for the General Elections!  This one is on YouTube, and has subtitles.  Since it's a drama, it's much easier to follow, and has no ethnic/insider humor.  Some people still live like that in the deep rural areas, in poverty and such.  Sure we have cell phones and slumlords now, but some things didn't change in spite of the "progress".