Hello beautiful Erin

How are you feeling, my dearest Sweetheart?  I hope the holidays are going absolutely great for you, and that you are having a grand old time.  You are my love, you are so beautiful to me and I love you with all my heart.

Usually, I spend about 500 Mbytes a day on the Internet, maybe twice that if I'm busy.  I try to be frugal with data because I have a data cap, plus I have other stuff to do besides sit in front of the computer all day.  I always go to dance, chat, and play dolly with myself, then I take snapshots.   Today, I had to attend a party, the 10th anniversary celebration of the disco I always go to.  And it was crowded.  The more avatars that are there, the more data I use up, and I have a data cap.  Plus, everything slows down.  It's like joining a hose that's a foot in diameter to a hose that's half an inch in diameter: although the water pressure is tremendous, it only comes out as a trickle assuming the hose doesn't burst.   So I was there, but couldn't do anything.  I couldn't dance, I couldn't chat, I couldn't take snapshots, and I used up 3 Gbytes in less than 90 minutes.  So, no fashion show today.

Good girl, Natty.  You are very resilient, so please know that.  The heartache dissipates eventually, I promise you, so hang in there.

Catching up

Hi Erin!  How are you feeling today, my love?  How's business?   Right now, I have a lot to post since I took a one day moment of silence.  I was allowed back into the disco after being banned for a couple of months, so I have two venues I have to spend time at.  Also right now is peak tourist season around here, so there are a lot of strangers in hanging around, mostly of the younger people since it's school holidays.  The trouble with being a cash cow is that nobody will admit their business relies on me because they don't want to be financially indebted to me.  On the other hand, if I don't work then the local economy would shut down.  The situation has turned into a machine, unable to stop.  But I have my orders, so thank Allah and they should thank Allah too.  In some cultures, people would get together and kidnap then lynch anybody who had some sort of business advantage.  What culture could that be?

Life is short, so I might as well enjoy some good food, especially since Allah granted me some knowledge of cooking.  There is an excellent tofu maker at the main market downtown, who makes fresh tofu so smooth and creamy.  No one else here compares to him.  So here is a tofu omelet with mini pita breads:

And here is a big old helping of fried calamari with home made hot sauce:

Want some?

Dear beautiful Natty, I wish you condolences on the passing of your father.  From Allah is our origin, and to Allah is our return.  But life goes on.  This is because we have loved ones who are still alive.  Your career is peaking right now, so please don't let that go.  To have yourself on a giant electronic billboard in Times Square is a big boost, but it's actually not a blessing for you.  This is because America is not your turf.  I want your bosses to relocate you to Paris.  I want you to stay away from America for 4 to 8 years.  We can't control where your bosses choose to print your photos, but at least you shouldn't live in the USA.  Pina, I want your bosses to situate you in Milan.  That way, the fashion industry will be able to utilize my influence in America, France, and Italy.  Then all of you can look East.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cuttlefish

Oh, you want more?  How about some cuttlefish?  I scored a great deal on cuttlefish at the market early this morning.  I don't think the locals know how to deal with cuttlefish.  Me, I'm thinking that it's fried calamari time.  You like fried calamari, Erin?  The squid is fresh when the skin isn't torn and all the pigment is still there.  Some people say the squid is fresh when it's white, but you have to be careful that it isn't day-old squid with the skin peeled off.

I process the squid by removing the eyes,

the beak,

the backbone but for cuttlefish, is the big fat cuttle bone,

which makes great bird food by the way, and the stomach and ink sacs.  I didn't take a snapshot of that because it got too darn slimy and messy at that point.  I burst a couple of the ink sacs... what a mess.  Plus, the stomach has to go because of what's inside it, namely what the squid was eating when it was caught.  In this case it was baby pomfret.  Pomfret is going for RM50 a kilo nowadays, but when it's been inside the squid's belly not even the cat wants to eat it.  Cats don't like squid, but Floofy was meowing and begging up a storm while I was working.  Hey!  Don't ask for something you don't want!

Pina, you're finding out that you like being the center of attention, huh?  This is unlike your "Nowhere Girl" image.  Don't lose your modesty, honey.  You too, Natty.  Don't lose your modesty.  I don't seek attention, I don't pay much attention to attention.  Doesn't it show?

Floofy's Cat Bowl

Sorry I'm late.  I suddenly came down with the sniffles again after a very dusty morning, and I had to invest the time needed to drain my sinus cavity.  Can you believe that?  I just got over the flu a week ago which ruined my voice, and now I got the sniffles again.  The Flu Virus Collective is really gunning for me right now for some reason.  **sniffle**

Floofy has a really nice cat bowl, it's made of stainless steel.  I used to be able to leave food in there so she could partake whenever she wanted, but the ants got wise to there being cat food in there.  These are the really tiny ants, about a tenth of an inch long.  I like to call them "Death Ants" because the are the same ants that crawl on abandoned babies, the unwanted babies you hear about being dumped at the sides of the roads, in toilets, dumpsters etc.  These ants are small, slow moving and don't have much of a bite to them but anyway, they seem to be tuned in to Floofy's cat bowl.  Nowadays, I can't leave any food in there at all.  I give her a handful of pellets whenever she asks for it, stand there and watch her eat, then when she walks away I put what's left back in the jar and screw the lid on tight.

Natty honey, congrats on that big old LED sign on Times Square!  I'm sure you are feeling absolutely great about it.  Now that you're getting more famous, please stay safe OK?  Don't get intoxicated by the Public Eye.  Don't get intoxicated, period.

Pina, how's the herring?

Equal time

The husband must pay for the wife and kids.  He must be fair but liberal towards his wives.  I must give each wife her own house.  My plan is to have the 3 houses and my studio all next to each other, work at my studio and tend to the garden and crops during the day, alternate every night with one of my wives, and visit all my wives every day, and always be in physical reach 24/7.  I must liberal in terms of births, deaths, and illness just as I expect my wives to be liberal with each other.  The newlywed gets 3 nights in a row.  We vacation once a year, assuming we can afford it.  I don't care where we go, but we all go there together.  I will have to go do my Hajj when the time comes and leave you all by yourselves for 2 weeks, unless you get to follow me and join me in worship to Allah.

It is impossible to be precisely fair with all my wives.  Just as it is impossible for each house to have exactly the same amount of land.  The best that I can do is to struggle for equal time, and you have to be lenient with me in terms of property.  After all, right now I can't afford to have any wives.  But the husband must pay for the wives.  Do you think THAT is fair?  Yes, it is fair.

A photo of my fried noodles about to leave the wok.  I ate the whole wok by myself, half for lunch and the other half after voice training.

That sure looks like a tooth, Erin

Now remember what I told you, my Darling.  The next time you are on the Dan Patrick show, try to talk about sports only.  You're beautiful, Erin.  I love you.


Hi Natty honey!  Aw Natty, how are you feeling?  You're such a beautiful girl.  I hope you are having tons of fun, and please stay safe OK?

Ah Pina, suddenly you got famous.  Suddenly you're the homecoming Queen.  Suddenly you're the prettiest girl in Holland.  How did that happen?  Because I want to make you my wife.  MashaAllah.  Don't forget what I told you: fame is not a blessing, but it's great for a modeling career and for your bosses.  So make lots of money for yourself while you can, be safe and chaste, and try to have fun OK?  Eat a herring for me.