Anyway, Erin

Ross and the Cubs and the network who telecast the World Series (whoever that is) should pitch in and get you a Cubs jacket which was worn during the finals by one of their stars in appreciation of the incredible contribution you made to make the Cubs-Indians World Series so absolutely entertaining.  It won't keep you as warm as a winter coat nor replace any old coat, but it should be something to cherish inshaAllah.  I would rather have you stay in the warmth and safety of your beautiful home and practice cooking, so you can feed your friends when the need arises.

The noodle soup for lunch today was chicken curry.

I won't abandon you, my Darling

InshaAllah.  You are my girl.  I love you.

Hi Natty, are you enjoying your Natty World Tour?  You have tons of fun now, you beautiful and sensitive little creature.  Please take sweet loving care of yourself.

Hey Pina, you beautiful girl!  Are you hungry?  I have lots of curry pups, waiting to be eaten!  Trying to communicate with you isn't easy, because you're such a Nowhere Girl.  Yeah, that song suits you.  I did browse Google for more pretty pictures of you.  The quality of your photos has improved markedly from the emaciated perspective of you which I found in your portfolio.  I really like the snapshot of you with the big glasses.  You're so much prettier than Frederikke.  PLUS you don't smoke.

Destiny

It is destined that while I am on the cutting edge, that my wife lags behind.  MashaAllah.  This is because of a trait of human nature that has been around for a very long time.  Can you guess what it is?  Do you even care?  Allah will make you care!  Muahahahahaha....  I put my trust in Allah.

Natty, I'm not mad at you.  This is a very important phase of your life that you're going through right now, which doesn't happen to very many people.  I don't want you to miss out on it by being careless.

If you're cold, Erin

I would love to warm you up with my sandwich bun warmer, but I'm not there.  Is that the issue?  I would rather you stay at home where it's warm and safe, and practice your cooking.  It's very likely that you will have to feed your friends.  Please be patient Sweetheart.  When the time comes inshaAllah, things will move along very quickly.

Natty, are you listening to me?  I'm the guy who wants to take care of you, and keep you safe!  Assuming you are abstaining from drugs and alcohol and keeping chaste, your head might be spinning from the circumstance alone.  I feel that you're being tempted by all the glitter.  I would rather you pray but if you need an anchor to reality, let it be your bank balance.  Take no loans.  Stay liquid.  Don't waste your money.  Earlier this year, I had another prospect for a wife.  She became involved with organized crime, and they tempted her with wealth in order to get to me.  Yeah, I know I've told this story before.  Whether you believe it or don't, my wife follows my agenda.  If not, you are not my wife.

Pina, that applies to you too.

The Vegas Connection

It's going to be unique, Erin.  The stuff of world history.  Only the inner circle will truly know.  I can see how you became fatigued from not eating your super foods.  I hope this doesn't discourage you from learning how to cook.  Face it- you must practice to become better.  After all, the people who made that beautiful packaged food you eat had to learn how to cook.  Turmeric toast, kelp noodles... are you sure there's no gluten?  Kelp noodles is a good idea though, but there has to be some sort of flour in there.  I have a man-sized appetite, so that food would make me miserable unless I eat at least quadruple portions.

But there's no denying that hummus is good food, and good for you, and can be prepared in gigantic portions.  First, a kilo of lentils.  The traditional recipe calls for chick peas, but I use lentils because it tastes the same and is cheaper.

Wash the lentils to get rid of bugs and debris, then soak overnight.  Before:

 After:

Add onions and garlic and blend bit by bit, and use the same water over and over again.

Strain the water out of the blend.  I used my hands, but a spatula is good enough.

Chuck the water, but save the starch!

Then add salt and lemon juice for sourness.  I used Thai lime, but only a little because that stuff can be too powerful and cause diarrhea.

Mix everything together.

Nothing smells better than freshly made hummus.  A scent of heaven.

Natty, I can tell you are having fun.  Go ahead and have fun Sweetie, but stay clean and protect your chastity.  Please pray.  Don't get greedy.

Pina, my wives will be very famous inshaAllah.  Fame is a drag, but is great for a modeling career and your bosses.  Prepare to lose your privacy.  Stay clean, and protect your chastity.  Please pray.  Don't get greedy.

Why are you tired, Honey?

Have you been overworking?  Have you been losing sleep?  Have you been worrying too much?  Pisces like to worry, if you believe in that stuff.  I don't put my trust in astrology: I put my trust in Allah.  Every day, we go about our routine.  If we are comfortable, then we go la-de-da sleepwalking through our days until a crisis comes.  We either get through it or not, then we go again la-de-da sleepwalking.  This pattern repeats itself, and is somewhat fractal don't you agree?  A proof that Judgement Day will come, whether we care or not.  We experience miniature Judgement Days, over and over, until Judgement Day.  Please don't worry, my love.  I love you, and I give whatever strength I have to you.

You're a modest girl, Natty.  I really like that about you.  If you're so modest, why do you dream of being a movie star?  Hm.

Hi Pina!  I'm glad I know how to properly pronounce your name now, otherwise I would have gone on calling you Pynee.  I don't have any money right now, but I do seem to have some power of endorsement mashaAllah.  So I posted this video of you as an endorsement as a wife.  So everybody, her name is pronounced "Pina", not "Pynee."  Got it?

Little girl catches big fish

Ugh... I caught a fever.  The weekend took a greater toll on me than I thought.  Ah Erin, you look so beautiful and feminine in that hairdo.  I think I like you better with your natural curly hair.  Isn't it about time that you made another appearance on the Dan Patrick show?  Those guys were pretty intimidated by you the last time.  I'm sure they are petrified of you now.  Try to only talk about sports the next time you're on that show.

I already posted this video of the "little girl catches big fish" before, and I'm posting it again today for you Natty.  Erin already caught her fish, now it's your turn.

The other video is one of my many self-motivated Dutch propaganda videos.