What's for dinner?

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  I hope you are feeling and eating well.  What's for dinner today?  As I mentioned yesterday, I have a lot of eggs in my cooler.  So I have to finish those off.  Plus I have some potatoes that need to be used up, so for dinner today I made eggs and hash browns.  But I don't have any sauce of any kind!  No ketchup, nothing.  Well I still have some salad cream and vinaigrette, but I don't want to put that on my eggs and hash browns.  So I heated up some spicy eggplant.  Of course I can make an omelet!  But I wouldn't get that smiley face on my plate.  It looks more like a bearded smiley face, though.  I should have given it better lighting.

Hey Natty Honey!  I'm still thinking about that photo, that camouflaged with the forest photo that you posted.  Could it be that you DON'T want to be the center of attention, that's why you retreated to school?  I find that hard to accept.  You want to be a movie star, that's the impression I got.  Anyway to continue about the X-Men, I was obviously a huge X-Men fan back in college.  My life was from one issue to the next, pathetic huh?  Lonely geeks fall in love with cartoon women.  My favorite X-Woman used to be Rogue, then I found out she was an atheist.  Ugh.  Now my favorite is Rachel Summers.  Marvel would never give her a lead role, but it doesn't matter.  I like her as she is, even though she is more emotional than intellectual.  I would never survive her rage fits, though.  I would get fried.  Check out that comic book body.  Would you like to do a superhero movie?

The Chicken Nugget and Egg Theory

Hi Honey!  I'm home!  Well, I am at home, I hang around here all the time.  I don't go anywhere much, I stick to my routine as work that someday soon Allah will have me married to my Honey.  InshaAllah.  How are you feeling today?  What's for dinner?  I have a lot of food in my cooler right now, and I'm not flat broke at this time.  But I have to empty out the fridge a bit before I buy more food.  Let's see... what goes first...  Those chicken nuggets and burgers have been in there for a while.  I bought a tray of eggs last week, so I have a lot of eggs.  I tested all of them, they were all good (if an egg floats, it's no good).  So I had chicken nuggets and eggs for dinner.  With no dipping sauce whatsoever.  Sounds bland, right?  It gave me the runs!  What happened there?  Oh, it was the Coca Cola that I slammed after cutting the grass, before I had dinner.  I can only drink Coca Cola on an empty stomach or with snacks, and not with a full meal.  Sounds odd, but that's a sensitive tummy for you.  Coke is sooo good though, after hot work and served freezing cold out of the freezer.  Ugh, I want more...

Hey Natty Honey, did you like the X-Men movie?  Most hits nowadays are superhero movies, I guess that would be an actor's "big break", so to speak.  Which sucks, because action movies are so dangerous.  And I don't want a scratch to happen to my Natty.  The Uncanny X-Men comic books of the 1980's made the X-Men famous enough to make movies, and that's the era that I truly love.  The artwork back then wasn't very sexy though, so I was riveted to the stories.  Nowadays, you must have the ladies look absolutely voluptuous.  For the pleasure of teenage male nerds who spend most of their time alone in the bedroom.  Ahem.

Oh how mysterious

Hi beautiful Erin!  Hi Honey, how are you today?  How's work?  I guess everybody is trying to hook you up.  Wow, they are so concerned about their American Princess.  Well, I hope I am man enough for you.  Let me flex... (flexes).  Hm... I skipped workout today.  But I did labor in my mother's garden this morning, and I did cut the grass in the evening.  Ah, maybe you would like some dinner?  I made spicy eggplant with mini pocket breads and crunchy anchovies.  It was yummy!

Hey Natty Honey, I've been pondering on that photo you posted, the one of your sitting on a short wall and blending in with the forest.  Maybe you should have kept working, then you would definitely be standing out.  But whatever the case, you will not be able to escape attention because you are MY girl.  MashaAllah.  Anyway, today the computer wants you to watch "X-Men: First Class" from 2011.  This is my least liked X-Men movie.  I don't really like any of the X-Men movies, except maybe "Logan", compared to the comic books- they really should have been truer to the Uncanny X-Men comics, issues 120-213.  The best years.  The best stories.

Queen bee

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling today?  It must be getting warmer over there, I hope you are comfortable and not working overly much.  Have some chocolate!  I was visited by a queen bee last night.  The bees here are all wild, and I knew she was a queen because she was huge, in comparison with other wild bees around here.  I just sitting in front of the computer at about sunset, minding my own business, when she crawled through the crack between the screen doors and made her presence felt.  Oh, I should have taken a snapshot!  But I forgot, because I was too occupied with detaining her in a tupperware as gently as possible, then releasing her outside into the night.  Oh, she was beautiful!

Hey Natty Honey!  How are you feeling?  Don't worry so much, everything will turn out just great inshaAllah.  You're so beautiful, you have the world in your hands.  I went and got some new tires for my motorcycle this morning.  I hadn't changed the tires in years, and they were bald and ruptured.  Wow, it feels so different riding it now...  At first it felt so weird, I thought I was going to topple over.  But far from it.  The machine now sails like a dream!

The Drum

Hi Honey!  How are you today?  Oh my beloved Erin, I do so long to be with you.  Always I have this longing to be married, it's what drives me.  I need a set of drums to produce the next album, but drums are very expensive.  And since they don't see the need to give me a set of drums so that I can create music, I am making my own drum.  InshaAllah, it will be a great drum.  InshaAllah, it will be a very famous drum.

Natty Honey, please don't worry- everything will turn out great inshaAllah.  I will not abandon my wives, I will not abandon you inshaAllah.  I know the waiting is awful, but I have to wait too.  And you are beautiful- if you get tired of waiting for me, there are plenty of men out there who want you.  But I remain faithful to my wives, Allah is my Witness.  We will be married, inshaAllah.

Bland

Hi Honey!  How are you feeling today?  I'm sorry if my tone today is rather bland, but emotions are running high over here, and I need to keep today's letter as neutral as possible.  I hope you are not overworking.  Please get plenty of rest, eat sensibly, don't forget to pray, and try to have fun OK?  I still qualify for welfare, so this morning I went to pick up my welfare payment.  It helps, alhamdulillah.  I had some fried chicken for dinner, and I bought some rubber hose.

Hi Natty Honey!  That is a beautiful photo you posted, and it certainly invokes emotions.  I took a snapshot of a tire business on my way to pick up my welfare payment.  I thought perhaps it would help give you a different perspective on your situation.

Home

Hi Honey!  How's it going today?  Are you still working hard?  Well I hope you're taking time to rest a little, and hang out at home, languish on the couch and watch lots of TV.  Doesn't that sound like fun?  I want to be there with you!  I like being around home all the time.  Lately that's all I've been doing, and that is the plan for my future, is to stay and work at home and be with my family 24/7.  InshaAllah.  Yesterday evening, when I was collecting fruit with my Mom, she said that she scared to go into the old house.  She was raised in that old house, about 75 years ago, and lived through World War 2 in that house.  I said, "Why should you want to go in that house, Mom?  The roof is about to cave in.  It's that damned tree!"  Yes, that huge tree that's growing on top of the house.  How am I going to get that thing down?  If I had money, maybe I can pay someone to remove it.  Maybe.  If I climbed that tree, I can remove it bit by bit.  Ugh. The thought is so daunting.  I did manage to get started, though.  I removed one limb a couple of years ago.  Sometimes I hate this world, and how difficult life is.  Other times I love this world, and am grateful that Allah has made life easy for me.  Alhamdulillah.

Natty, you're mad at me!  I hope you've cooled down by now, but whatever the reason is, I'm sorry and please forgive me.  You are my wife inshaAllah, and I love you.  You know, the thought of spending all year round in Vancouver is very appealing to me.  I loathe hot weather, and am much more partial to the 4 seasons.  But Allah has ordered me to stand my ground here, and I certainly know better than to disobey.  I have to build my home and family here, and as my wife you must accept that.  Maybe you're upset with me for making you watch "Airplane 2".  The computer wanted you to watch it!  There are a lot of cheesy movies out there.  That's how the USA lost it's global media grip, not only from the advent of the digital recorder, but from second rate products.  But I like "Airplane 2".  That's why it's in my database.  Not everything can be perfect, so it's whether you like it or not.  But we are bending reality with our watching movies!  InshaAllah.  Today the computer wants you to watch "Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace".  Episode One and Two are generally the most hated of the Star Wars movies.  But I like them.  I am the movie mogul, inshaAllah.  You are MY girl.