Letter to Julia 20140421

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Did you know that when cats are about to die, they leave the house?  Humans don't know when they die.  Most of them think they'll get a timeout when the Wrath of God hits them.  Imagine my stress when Chee Cheah refused to stay inside the house anymore, and started to insist to remain outside, then I don't see her for a day.  I thought she was just blaming me for her seasonal fungal infection, but what to do?  I don't make the rain, I just medicate her and take her to the vet.  So I didn't get much sleep last night, worrying about my kitty.  I love my cats.  Besides the fungal problem, I think she's resentful to the presence of the pregnant Floofy, and the impending arrival inshaAllah of kittens in the house.  But I found her just now after voice training.  It turns out that she's been skulking out of sight around my house and Casa de Julia, and eating out of Simper's food bowl.  Of course I caught her and medicated her, then released her outside.  She immediately tried to wipe off the medicine by rubbing herself on the concrete.  If she wants to stay outside, then so be it.  I'm just going to have a harder time catching her to take her to the vet.  I'm just glad she's not dead.  Ya Allah, please give all my kitties miraculously long, happy, healthy lives like 300 years or so.  I mean 30.  Typo.

Now please excuse me, I have to go and make a batch of dough.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Letter to Julia 20140419

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi again, my beloved Julia and Erin!  How are you feeling today?  I pray you are both feeling fabulous.  I've been doing a lot of yard work and labor, so my body is sore as usual.

I pray your parents understand that this marriage is a Muslim marriage and situation.  Our children will be raised as Muslims.  The will learn to strictly guard their prayers, to be righteous and aware of the Hereafter, and to look after their parents when their parents become elderly, and not abandon them at a nursing home or force them to fend for themselves.  It's most important to me that they take care of their mother, because I love her, I love her.

For dinner is snapper and bamboo shoot stew.  It's the same snapper that I made sushi from, so there's not much meat left to enjoy.  But the taste is awesome.  I had to sieve the bones out in order to save the broth.  I can't understand the charm of eating fish heads, although many people and cats do.  Fish heads add powerful flavor to broth, though.  So tomorrow, I'll use this broth for my noodles.  Want some?

Letter to Julia 20140417

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hello there, dearest Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today?  I'm OK.  I just finished breaking down and burning that tree I chopped down at Casa de Julia inshaAllah.  Then I have a lot of grass cutting to do.  The grass grows quickly here in Malaysia, even during the dry season.  Chee Cheah isn't well, so I had to take her to the vet.  She's very sensitive to moisture, and gets fungus infections, then licks and scratches herself to pieces where the fungus grows.  I tell her to stop doing that, but she won't listen to me, so I have to take her to the vet for an antifungal shot.  Then she blames me for her sorrow, and takes a dump on my floor.  I suppose I tried to anticipate the fungus outbreak by feeding her an antifungal pill, but the naughty kitty spits the pill out silently through the side of her mouth, and I don't find the pill on the floor until the next day.  Whenever I do manage to get the pill down her throat, it has no effect.  So I must take her to the vet regularly.  I think she likes going to the vet, even though she cries all the way there.  Now she's sulking in the toilet.  Poor little Chee Cheah.

I'm doing OK, other than that I long to be happily married to you.  The both of you please take good loving care of yourselves in my absence.  Please maintain your prayers, and have faith that Allah will supply us all that we need whether we are already married or still waiting.  InshaAllah.  Because I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Qur'an 20140417

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

30.  And they set up as equal to Allah, to mislead from the Path!  Say, "Enjoy!  But verily you are making straightway for hell!"

Abraham 14:30
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Enjoy!  But verily you are making straightway for hell!

Letter to Julia 20140415

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Say Julia, have you been having trouble with pimples lately?  The reason I asked is that I had a dream that you grew a pimple.  It so happens that I also have a pimple growing on my left cheek next to my nose.  Well, everybody knows that supermodels don't get pimples.  I just happened to get a pimple because I keep massaging my sinus cavity when I lie on my right side, because it eases my breathing.  It's not as if I'm getting a teenage hormone rush.  I told you before that I'm an old man, and I've used up most of my libido.  I'm going to have to do drugs to keep up with one of you, let alone the both of you.  Well, don't go and grow any pimples.  I love you just the way you are.  You too, Erin.  Don't start growing pimples just because I dreamed that Julia grew a pimple.  Supermodels don't get pimples.

For dinner tonight at Casa de Julia is sushi again.  I love sushi.  I happen to be eating sushi all the time lately because I found seaweed sheets and a good wasabi substitute at the Chinese grocery store.  I can't eat sushi without wasabi.  I was going to buy my fish at the night market, but this morning when I went to the local grocer at the crossroads to get bean sprouts and cilantro for my Mom, I found a huge snapper for a reasonable price.  I like sushi best with snapper.  I can't afford bluefin tuna, I can't get it here even if I could, but the local fish is the best in the world anyway, as long as they care enough to keep the environment clean.  So today the fish is snapper, with egg and cilantro.  Snapper meat is so transparent in taste- you know and sense and taste that you're eating fish, but the fish is almost invisible.  And the meat around the belly tastes like garlic.  I just downed 20 golf ball-sized rolls, not those puny pinky sized insults that you pay 50 bucks a plate for at a restaurant.  Want some?  Can you fit a golf ball in your mouth?  I have 4 rolls left.  We'll be having sushi often when we're married, inshaAllah.  Now it's time for tea.

Letter to Julia 20140412

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Hi there, my dearest wives.  You are the most beautiful in the world.  You should have noticed by now that it doesn't matter if you go out all the time or just stay at home, your advertising has been done for you, mashaAllah.  So don't try too hard to be noticed.  I will marry you inshaAllah, so you already have that settled.  So work on those other skills.  Like accounting, cooking, database management, soldering, phone and Internet sales, and I also need someone to hit the "record" button when I do a take... all the stuff I can't do!  Well, I can cook a little.  I really love black sole.  It's so sweet.  After I filleted what I needed for sushi, I deep fried the rest.  It made a nice crispy fry, great with plain old salt and pepper.  Anyway, don't try too hard to be noticed.  You'll get as much PR done just staying home and watching TV, inshaAllah.  It's like Floofy, whether she stays inside or goes outside, she's still pregnant.  It's all part of the business of marriage.  Our marriage.  Don't forget to hide your beauty, you beautiful thing you.  As for me, I want your chastity and integrity.  Also please stay fit and healthy, don't get any tans, and be as blonde as humanly possible at all times.  That's what I like.  I love you, I love you.  And I need you, I need you.

Remember when you were 18?  That wasn't too long ago for you, but you've traveled so far since then, so it must seem like light years away.  I was loathed in high school, but I was done with that and packed full of libido and on my way to USA.  Now I don't have as much libido left, but I am ready to settle down.  InshaAllah.

Letter to Julia 20140410

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Merciful.

Greetings, my beloved Julia and Erin.  How are you feeling today?  How are those precious emotions?  Please know that I love you, I love you, and I fully intend to fulfill my promise to you inshaAllah, my dearest wives.  You are the world to me, so let's work towards the Hereafter together.  I don't ever want you to feel abandoned.  I will always love you, I will always love you.

Whew.  It's been a busy week for me.  It's been raining everyday, and I'm feeling feverish.  No, it's not weather distortion: it's supposed to be the rainy season right now.  I think I'll just lie back and watch TV for the rest of the night.  It's movie night tonight on Shadowplay TV, and the movie is "Arrisalah".